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Prank Calling To Return Boxers With A Poop Stain

Apr 15, 2011 4.5M views 0 comments

Category: Walmart prank
Format: Subtitled
Characters: Russell, Billy, Buk Lau, Tyrone
Prank Victim: Walmart
Rage Level: Mellow

Walmart customer service prank about poop stain in boxers!

Best quotes: 

  • “After having my leg touch crusty doodoo, ya know, I feel like my life's never gonna be the same again”
  • “All I can do is think about it inside, my SKID MARK, right? All in my head SKID! SKID! SKID! You know? Like a CAR. ErrrErrrh!” 

Body of content:

This is a classic call I did to one of my favorite stores to prank - Walmart! They get some of the weirdest customers so they generally buy into my pranks, but they definitely weren’t prepared for this one! I called their customer service and told them I’d bought boxers from their store that came with a POOP STAIN.

In typical Walmart fashion, they passed the call around a couple of times between different departments, and I kept switching characters with each new employee! I finally got in touch with a manager to explain the poop stain situation, and bartered with him for a while over appropriate compensation.

This ended up being a pretty lighthearted, silly prank! What other kinds of calls should I make to Walmart? Would you like to see another funny poop stain prank? Tell me in the comments below! 


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[Phone ringing]

Employee: Hello? [Censored] can I help you?

Pranker: Duh hello, can I talk to somebody in the men’s underwear part, please?

Employee: Uh, excuse me, can you repeat that?

Pranker: Oh, can I speak to somebody in the men’s underwear department please?

Employee: Okay, uh, hold on one minute

Pranker: Alright, thank you

Employee: Uh huh.

Employee: Yes ma’am, what were you looking for?

Pranker: [Speaking as Billy] Uh hello, eh, excuse me?

Employee: What were you looking for?

Pranker: Can I speak to somebody in the men’s underwear department please?

Employee: Yes I am for men’s.

Pranker: Uh, ah, uh, uh, uh, I came in to the store the other day and I bought

Pranker: myself a pack of Hanes boxer briefs

Employee: Ok

Pranker: And uh, it was the packaging that had a Buy 4-Get-1 Free it essentially had

Pranker: five pair of uh large boxer briefs inside of there. So I went home

Pranker: I came back from a long day of work and I wanted to, you know, shower up and

Pranker: get clean, I work in construction, so i dun diddly take me a shower, and

Pranker: I get out of there and I pull out one of these new pairs of underwear and

Pranker: I put it by my clothing, and you know, I stick my leg in there, and I see

Pranker: right smack dab in the middle is a big DOO DOO stain right smack dab in

Pranker: the middle of these new pair of underwear, and I don't know what to do

Pranker: I thought this kind of some, some kind of sick joke, I don't know what's

Pranker: going on here. But I see there's a big, st-, st-, crusty DOO DOO stains

Pranker: inside these underwear, I don't know if somebody returned them already

Pranker: and, and, you guys put them back on the shelf, I don't know if somebody

Pranker: had the RUNS and decided to wipe this ass with it, I don't know what to do

Pranker: Ah, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, it's-, it's just absolutely mortifying.

Employee: Yes sir, I understand, what you can do is, you can bring it to customer

Employee: service and we will refund your money fully, and I'm sorry that happened.

Employee: We do not actually put up any underwear that's returned it might've...

Pranker: You see, cuz-, cuz-, because I came in to the store, I asked somebody

Pranker: can you help me find these underwear, he said: "These are a great value."

Pranker: I said, I-, I DUN DIDDLY DOO DAH BUH DUN, uh, I just want me you know

Pranker: so-, so-, a pair of BOXERS and it just really, you know, ah, eh, eh, eh

Pranker: after having my leg touch crusty DOO DOO, you know, I feel like my life's

Pranker: never going to be the same again, you know what I mean? It just It's

Pranker: absolutely disgusting. I-, I don't know, what, what kind of person was

Pranker: was, was crapping in there, I don't know who's, who's skid marks they are

Pranker: You know what I mean? Because I DUN DIDDLY DOO, I just wanted me a new pair

Pranker: of Boxer Briefs and, and, eh, it's just very stressful for me.

Employee: Yes sir

Pranker: And, do, do, do you know if I could be compensated? In some way or something?

Pranker: Because, you know, I-, I don't merely eh, bringing back my, my seven dollar

Pranker: pair of Boxer Briefs, you know? I-, I-, merely getting a new one after having

Pranker: crusty DOO DOO rub up my leg, I, ah, I just want to know if there's some

Pranker: kind of customer SATISFACTIONS you can do for me, because, this hurts.

Pranker: I'm menta-, I am mentally scarred from I'm-, I'm mentally-, eh, this hurts

Employee: Huh, the only thing I know of is, we can refund your money

Employee: someone at the customer service desk may be able to tell you more?

Pranker: Well-, well-

Employee: I can go ahead and transfer you over there and they can help you connect.

Pranker: Okay, if you want, if-, if-, if that's what you recommend, alright and

Pranker: and what-, what-, what's your name again?

Employee: My name is Heather

Pranker: Uh, Leather?

Employee: Heh-ther

Pranker: Oh Heather, sorry, alright, thank you

Employee: You're welcome. Hold on one moment, and I'll transfer you over there

Pranker: OK dun diddly

 [Phone ringing]

Employee: This is service center speaking, how can I help you?

Pranker: [Speaking as Buk Lau] Duh hello [laughing] hello

Employee: I'm sorry?

Pranker: Hello, how you doing today? I talk

Employee: Good, how can I help you?

Pranker: I talk to some lady right now, I talked to her in the men’s clothing

Pranker: department right? Uh, I buy the uh, the Boxer Brief?

Employee: Uh huh

Pranker: And somebody and I don't know if, somebody return it or something but I pick

Pranker: the box of the brief right?

Employee: Uh huh

Pranker: And I-, I-, I-, I go home, I working, right? I work at the Chinese Restaurant

Pranker: I try, I work very hard, I come home to take a-, hello?

Employee: Yes, yes I'm listening.

Pranker: I go to take a shower, and i take out, one st-, one of the boxer brief, right?

Employee: Uh huh

Pranker: and I put my leg inside, and somebody, look like somebody already used the, the

Pranker: How do you say-, somebody, it's already dirty, you know? I put inside the, the

Pranker: somebody already has, you know BATHROOM inside the, inside the fabric

Employee: Ok sir, what you can do is bring in those, uh, the item in a bag, and bring your

Employee: receipt, and we will refund you, okay?

Pranker: But I do not know, look [sigh] look

Employee: And then I, I mean, I can't do anything right now, as far as the phone right now

Employee: uh, when you do come in

Pranker: I know, I know, I want to under-, you 

Employee: When you come in, we can speak to a manager and have them deal with that, ok?

Pranker: Ok, relax ma'am, please, why you, you sound like you rush, I try to talk to you

Pranker: explain what happened, right? I'm very TRAUMATIZING, okay? 

Employee: No, I totally understand, but I'm

Pranker: Fully

Employee: I'm trying to let you know, that uh, you can bring it back, we can do the refund on that

Employee: and then we can speak to a manager about the incident

Pranker: Okay, but

Employee: That's what I'm trying to...

Pranker: Okay, do you understand, I look, I want to know, what we going to do, I pay like a six-seven

Pranker: dollar, right? What-, what-, I get the seven dollar refund, that's it? My, my, my, my leg

Employee: LOOK

Pranker: My leg just, my leg touching

Employee: This is, see you're not listening, this is what I'm trying to let you know sir

Employee: I'm going to do the six or seven dollar refund, and then you can speak to a manager

Employee: and in if they decide, or if you guys, if you let them know that you would like

Employee: something else, besides the 7 dollars, then, you have to talk to them when you come in

Employee: and you can take care of that.

Pranker: Ok, but here, ok but

Employee: The day you come in

Pranker: But how, how is this possible, I want to understand, this is not a normal thing, you know?

Pranker: I tell my friend, they say: "What the heck-

Employee: I totally, I mean

Pranker: that's crazy!", you know?

Employee: I understand

Pranker: I-, I my foot inside is a CRUSTY DOO DOO right? Somebody take a big CRAP inside already

Employee: Oh my god, I am so sorry, believe me I totally, I understand

Pranker: You don't! you

Employee: You, you're stress about that

Pranker: You think is, you think it's not a serious, right?

Employee: Uh, you

Pranker: It's a very serious

Employee: I'm not sure, sir

Pranker: I have a mental, mental damage, you know?

Employee: Hello sir

Pranker: I go, I go through crazy time, you know? I have feeling too, you know? I-, I go to sleep

Pranker: at night, it hurt me, all I can do is think about it, inside my SKID MARK, right?

Pranker: All in my head SKID SKID SKID, you know? Like a CAR, you know what I'm saying?

Employee: Okay sir, uh, like I said, I mean I can't do anything else, I-, I mean I can like

Employee: Only let you know what you can do. and your option is to come in, get the refund for that

Employee: and speak to management about that, and let them know

Pranker: Ok, can I talk to the manager, right now, then?

Employee: Sure let me go get them for you

Pranker: OKAY! Ok, excellent

Employee: It'll be just one second, one second

Pranker: Thank you

Employee: You're welcome

Pranker: But, but please hurry

Employee: One second

Pranker: RUN

Employee: [Laughs] One second sir, thank you.

Pranker: Ok

 [Phone ringing]

Manager: Customer service

Pranker: Duh hello

Manager: Hello

Pranker: Hi, I talk to somebody, she put me on hold for like a TEN MINUTE, I wait and waiting

Pranker: waiting, waiting, nobody come

Manager: Ok sir, I got the, I got the manager, on line one for you, one second, ok?

Pranker: Okay, what happened? I wait, you don't tell me anything [sigh] so [slap]

Manager: So this is Dave, can I help you?

Pranker: Duh hello

Manager: Hello, yes

Pranker: Hello Dave, this, did the lady, con-, uh, explain to you what happened?

Manager: Uh, I believe briefly, yes uh

Pranker: Oh

Manager: she said you purchased a product?

Pranker: Ok

Manager: Hello?

Pranker: Yes?

Manager: Ok, she said you, you purchased a product and what was the issues with it?

Pranker: Ok, I, I come to the store, right? With, uh, I buy the, the Hanes boxer brief

Pranker: the pack of five, okay?

Manager: Mhm 

Pranker: And I-, I-, I go home, I-, I-, I-, I buy, I pay for the [cough], I pay for the

Pranker: new one, you know? I-, I-, I-, I go home and I-, I-, I-, I-, U try to-, to take

Pranker: shower, right? I have one outside, I put my foot inside and somebody, I see that

Pranker: somebody [laughs] it's a, is a dirty inside already somebody look like is a used one

Pranker: Somebody, half, half a, a FEE-CEE inside, you know? I don't know what to do, I don't

Pranker: who, who sell the used one, you know? Who, who does, who do that? That's a DISGUS-

Manager: Ah

Pranker: DISGUSTING, you know?

Manager: I-, I certainly have no idea sir, um

Pranker: Do you think some, but ho-, I don't understand how, you know, I buy, I buy a pack of five

Pranker: I don't know what to do, you know, my, my, uh, is a very, eh, uh, I want to understand

Pranker: What-, what can we do about this, okay, I don't want a five dollar refund, THAT'S IT

Pranker: Ok, is a very, is a very FRUSTRATING for me, is, is a DISGUSTING, you know? I wake, 

Pranker: I can't get the, the-, the PICTURE out my mind, I look, I looking, in the bathroom, all I

Pranker: think is a BOOM, you know? Memory time

Manager: Ok, uh, eh, I don't know what, the situation was with it, i can certainly refund the product

Manager: and in fact with that product, you know, we wouldn't even want it back in the store, dispose of it

Manager: and just bring us the receipt

Pranker: NO, no, no, I will not, no I, you have to see, you know, you have to, you have to smell my PAIN

Pranker: you know? I look at it, it's a DISGUSTING, who do that to anybody. I don't know what to

Pranker: you know, it's a, I tr-, I try to get the PICTURE, out of my mind, you know? Is a very tra-, trauma

Pranker: TRAUMATIZING exp-, experience for me, what the, eh

Manager: Ok, uh, again sir I, I certainly apologize, um, but like I said, we don't even put this back

Manager: If this came, you know, from the manufacturer, like I said

Pranker: Duh manufacturer

Manager: if you have-

Pranker: The manufacturer send the product with a-with a

Manager: If you have any issue with any- if you have-

Pranker: CRAP inside?!

Manager: an issue with the product

Pranker: Who do that one? Who do that?!

Manager: I'm sorry-I'm sorry...

Pranker: I say, you know, eh you, Haynes they ship the product

Pranker: with the-with the CRAP inside? They do the product testing or what?

Manager: I-I honestly sir, I have no idea.

Pranker: But okay, what can we do for com-pen-sate you know?

Pranker: I- my- I is a very uncomfortable you know, it hurt me you know?

Pranker: I-I try-I try to-I try to understand how-how this happen, you know?

Pranker: It's not a normal thing. I could- I-I buy anywhere else this not

Pranker: happen to me! Why-why sell me the crap THE CRAP underwear you know?

Manager: Okay sir, I the- honestly, I've never heard that in my years of Walmart

Manager: I've never had somebody tell me this has happened.

Pranker: It's cra- I know!

Manager: Me either, I mean this isn't like

Pranker: but it never happen to me either you know?

Manager: We're selling this on a regular basis. I can certainly refund you

Manager: for the product that you sold, you know, that we sold.

Manager: If you're not happy with it, obviously.

Pranker: [sigh]

Pranker: I don't know eh, you know eh, uh...

Pranker: I'm very frustrated! Very hard for me to speak to you you know?

Pranker: I try to think, ca-can you hold one minute, can you explain

Pranker: to my roommate what you want to do please?

Pranker: Look, 'cause I... I'm confused right now 'cause I don't understand

Pranker: Ho-ho-

Pranker [to Tyrone]: Ty-Tyrese come here ta-talk to this man-

Pranker: Remember that this is the Walmart, i talk to them about the-the-

Pranker: the underwear, right? Come, come...

Pranker [as Tyrone]: Alright, alright...

Pranker: Uh, hello?

Manager: Yes.

Pranker: Uh, yeah, I was just talking to my-my-my roommate trying to explain

Pranker: to you what's happening. I'm trying to follow along,uh...

Pranker: Wh-wh-where we at right now?

Manager: Okay, what-what he was explaining to me was that he purchased a product

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, he told me all about it he-he was crying

Pranker: and it was pretty uh, he's a very emotional man so it was-it was

Pranker: pretty hard on him.

Manager: Okay, um, I-I can certainly understand that and-and that's what I'm

Manager: telling him is, you know uh, certainly I can refund the product

Manager: We don't need the product-

Pranker: Alright, but-but-but let-let me get something straight, did he explain

Pranker: to you the severity of it? Because this ain't no, this ain't like a

Pranker: Oh I had a little bit of a tear, there was a thread that came apart

Pranker: in my under- in his underwear, you know what I'm saying?

Pranker: He-he-he uh, he took a sho- he took a shower, he said he tried to put the

Pranker: underwear on, and there was a big doo-doo stain smack dab in the middle

Pranker: of the underwear and he's trying to, you know, he's trying put it

Pranker: put-put his underwear on and-and there's...Who-who-who sells underwear

Pranker: with crusty doo-doo already in there, you know what I'm saying?

Pranker: That-that never happens that's- that ain't normal you know what I'm saying?

Manager: Certainly I mean the I-I

Pranker: That's just-that's just weird

Manager: I- absolutely I'm sh- uh wh- what would he have me do?

Manager: What-what would, what would he like me to do?

Pranker: Hold on.

Pranker [to Buk Lau]: Hey yo, Ranga-Ha. RANGA-HA!

Pranker: Ca-can you let ma- I'll go ask him real quick

Pranker: Can you run hold on for ten seconds?

Manager: Sure.

Pranker: Alright one sec.

Pranker [to Rang-Ha]: Yo Rang-Ha, what do you want him to do?

Pranker: Yeah-

Pranker [as Rang-Ha]: I don't know

Pranker [as Rang-Ha]: It's a very uncomfortable.

Pranker [as Tyrone]: Alright, go talk to him. Alright, he's going to  come talk to you

Pranker [as Rang-Ha]: Hello?

Manager: Yes

Pranker: Ok, uh, uh, what-what happen he tell me what you can do anything for me?

Manager: Well no that's-that's what I was asking is-is what-what-what is it you

Manager: would be asking of me to do because I-

Pranker: You not-

Manager: told you we could-I told you we could refund it, you're telling me that's not acceptable.

Pranker: I think 'cause he knows- they tell

Manager: So what I was asking was

Pranker: you know I talk to-I talk to my friend you know I was with them

Pranker: They tell me you know the customer service in America is the best one

Pranker: you know, something like this is a big-is a big problem.

Pranker: I want to, you know, some compensate, you know? Gift card or something.

Pranker: You know this is cra- you know this is not normal for me you know.

Pranker: I put the-the-the crap touch my leg you know?

Pranker: What-what do I do? And I can't forget it, just like that.

Manager: Okay and-and that's what I was saying what-what type of compensation

Manager: were you looking for?

Pranker: So you want to pay my psychologist?

Pranker: I go see him!

Manager: I-I have no idea, eh, I mean is-is that what you're asking me?

Manager: Is whether or not I can authorize payment of a psychologist?

Manager: I-I can't do that.

Pranker: But wh-what can we do? You know, I am mental=l- I am-I am

Pranker: Eh, duh, it do the brain twist

Pranker: My-m- uh

Pranker: I don't know what to- my

Pranker: it cr- it get it-it very frustrating for me.

Pranker: I can, everyti-every time I put my underwear on it's like uh,

Pranker: it-it-it come replay my mind you know, I try to...

Pranker: I try to forget about it you know, I put on the underwear

Pranker: I scream, it's like flash BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM in my mind.

Manager: Okay, let-let me put me on hold for just a minute sir.

Pranker: Okay. Please, don't. Last time I wait like a 15 minutes,

Pranker: don't take too long this time for me please. Thank you.

Clinton: Hi, this is Clinton, how may I help you?

Pranker: Duh, hello?

Clinton: Hello.

Pranker: I talk to somebody,  put me on hold right, this I is

Pranker: I confused right now.

Clinton: How can I help you?

Pranker: I wai- Are you the manager please?

Clinton: Yes.

Pranker: I'm sorry, I talk to somebody else right now, he tell me put me on hold

Pranker: I don't know what happen right?

Clinton: I'm his boss. How can I help you?

Pranker: Ok, did he explain to you what happen?

Clinton: Yes.

Pranker: Okay, well w-what can we do?

Clinton: I told you, bring in your receipt, we'll give you your money back.

Pranker: I thought the, you need to- Did I talk to you before?

Clinton: Bring in you receipt, we'll give you your money back.

Clinton: Can I help you with anything else?

Pranker: Excuse me, wh-why do you have attitude with me?

Clinton: I do not have an attitude sir, you're asking me what we can do for you

Clinton: and I'm telling you what we can do for you and I'm answering your question.

Clinton: Can I help you with anything else sir?

Pranker: I want to understand what can we do for compensate?

Clinton: I already told you what we can do what else can I do for you sir?

Pranker: LISTEN! Don't give me the this attitude!

Clinton: Thank you for shopping at this Walmart.

Pranker: Ok, you don't understand what happen to me! [call ends]

Pranker: [speaking to audience]: Okay we're calling him back.

 [phone calling sound]

Employee: [beep sound] Walmart how may I help you?

Pranker: Duh, hello can I speak to Quentin please?

Employee: Who? Clinton?

Pranker: The, yes.

Employee: Just a moment.

Clinton: Hi, this is Clinton, how may I help you?

Pranker: Duh, hello Clinton. I talk to you before you remember me?

Clinton: Yes sir.

Pranker: Okay, what happen? You know I talk to you, my-my eh-

Pranker: I don't understand what happen. I-I you hang up on me?

Clinton: No sir.

Pranker: [exhales]

Pranker: Well, I was not finish and you hang up on me, you hang the phone.

Pranker: You going to lie to me?

Pranker: Why you do that one?

Clinton: How can I help you sir?

Pranker: Okay, I want to understand first. I will-I will tell you but why you hang up

Pranker: on me? What do I do to you? You know, I first time talk to you

Pranker: You talk to me for like a

Clinton: How can I help you sir?

Pranker: thirty second right? And you hang up on me.

Clinton: How can I help you sir?

Pranker: Uh, okay, I want to know what-what we can do about my problem

Pranker: and why you hang up on me- Those two things that how you help me okay?

Clinton: Okay, I already explained to you what we can do for you sir.

Pranker: You talk to me for forty second and you hang up on me! I don't understand

Pranker: anything okay? I'm sorry, I don't understand English like you, ok?

Pranker: You have to give me some time to-to compre- to

Clinton: What language do you speak sir?

Pranker: I speak English and I speak-I speak Chinese.

Clinton: Okay, I speak Mandarin Chinese as well.

Pranker: Ok, talk to me

Clinton: You talk to me first sir

Pranker: Okay. Mon gui

Clinton: Talk to me first sir

Pranker: Lam si lam yah

Clinton: Talk to me first sir

Pranker: I am talk to you right now! You lie to me!

Clinton: Is there anything else I can help you with sir?

Pranker: Do you speak-do you speak Mandarin or do you lie to me?

Clinton: I

Pranker: Lam yay mo yeah

Clinton: Um gaih oh ya mkay

Panker: Sum leeh ah? What?

 [phone call ends]

Pranker: Hello?

Pranker: [laughing]

Pranker: Hello?

Pranker: [laughing]

Employee: Walmart how may I help you?

Pranker: Duh, hello? Can I speak to Clinton please?

Employee: Just a moment.

Pranker: Okay, thank you

Clinton: How can I help you?

Pranker: Ok, you lie to me again, you hang up on me two time now right?

Clinton: How can I help you sir?

Pranker: Okay can-can do why do you lie to me I want to understand

Pranker: Why you put me through the suffering, what do I do to you?

Pranker Do I hurt you? Do I do anything to you?

Clinton: I spoke with your s- I spoke with your roommate did I not?

Pranker: I, but it duff, eh, look, ah

Clinton: Did I not speak with your roommate?

Pranker: I do-I don't under but that

Clinton: Did he not explain to you what-what we can do for you?

Pranker: I don't understand-

Clinton: That is all we can do for you sir.

Pranker: Do you speak a-

Clinton: Is there anything else I can-

Pranker: DO you speak a Mandarin? Yes no

Pranker: Because I need to understand 'cause it's easier for me we talk Mandarin.

Clinton: Right, no I do not

Pranker: We do it?

Clinton: I do not speak that however sir-

Pranker: WHAT? Do you lie to me?

Clinton: Sir I am telling you

Pranker: WHY do you lie to me

Clinton: Can I help you-

Clinton: Can I help you with anything else sir

Pranker: Yes, why are you the big liar?

Clinton: oh can I help you with anything else sir?

Pranker: You remind me uh, you the Pinokio or something?

Pranker: You have a big nose or something?

Pranker: Hello?

Pranker: Hello?

Pranker: Okay [laughing] Dude the golden part was him farking trying to speak Mandarin.

Pranker: That was farking golden.

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Get Priceless Reactions From Your Friends When You Do This Twin Prank

Jun 8, 2022

The thought of having an identical twin has probably crossed the minds of most people at some point in their lives. Let your imagination run...


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