Category: Prank calls
Characters: Billy, Buk Lau, Tyrone
Prank Victim: Home Depot
Rage Level: Mellow
- “Okay, you- you- you should I tell her like: ‘Hey, I'm trying to pop some molly I'm sweating hoo’ or- or something like that?”
- “I WAS GONNA GET ME A GALLON JUG, from WATER PLACE and get some LITTLE BOLTS in there and then we can make like, one of them MEGA GRAVITY BONGS!”
- “YEAH, just a little WHITE LIE EXACTLY that's white just like a little white- with like- just a- a little- REAL CAUCASIAN LIE, you know what I'm saying?”
Body of content:
I did a series of Home Depot prank calls as Billy, Buk Lau, and Tyrone pretending to be employees calling out of work. Their reason for calling out? They got WAY too high on drugs, and Buk Lau might even be passed out in the employee bathroom!
These employees got a laugh out of the predicament, and couldn’t believe they wanted to tell the managers the REAL reason for calling out! What's the craziest thing you’ve heard someone call out of work for? Tell your story in the comments below!
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[glass break sound] [phone ringing]
Lady: Thank you for choosing the [censored] Home Depot, this is Corincia.
Pranker [speaking as Billy]: Uh yeah, hi there Corincia, how you doing?
Lady: I'm well, thank you, how are you?
Pranker: I'm good, thank you, hey, this is Billy, I'm supposed to be working later today, I was wondering-
Pranker: do you think you might be able to cover me today?
Lady: Uh, [laughing].
Pranker: Okay, i- is Heather in today?
Lady: She is.
Pranker: Oh, okay, what do you think I should tell Heather like, just to kind of schmooze? You got any tips for me?
Lady: If it's a real EMERGENCY you just relay that to her and she'll be understanding.
Pranker: I KNOW BUT WE GOT- we got LATE NIGHT BARBECUE, we're all just gonna be hanging out and getting FARKED UP, so I-
Pranker: I can't really tell her like, you know, it ain't no EMERGENCY, you know what I'm saying?
Lady: Okay, alrighty, so uh, what you can do to just let her know you can't come in today.
Pranker: Okay, you- you- you should I tell her like: "Hey, I'm trying to pop some molly I'm sweating hoo or- or something like that?
Lady: Oh definitely not, if you do like your job, if you enjoy, you know, working here, uh, I would NOT say something along those lines.
Lady: But uhm, whatever you choose to do you know-
Pranker: I- I-
Lady: instead of working-
Pranker: I appreciate-
Lady: let her know you can't.
Pranker: I appreciate you looking out my last question for you is, do you think Heather's 4/20 friendly?
Lady: Hmm? Sports worthy friendly?
Pranker: NO, FO- FOU- 4/20 like, you know, like- like doobies, like like doobies.
Lady: OH, OH, OH, OH, OH.
Lady: I'm not able to speak on th- I'm not able to speak on that, I don't know her PERSONAL LIFE, or anything like that. Uh yeah-
Pranker: Okay, okay, how about like-
Lady: Yeah, yeah.
Pranker: right- right after work at four or you know, TWENTY MINUTES LATER, you know, we can meet in the back like, you know-
Pranker: I'll come in today.
Pranker: You know?
Lady: I won't be able to- to- to PARTICIPATE IN THAT, but uh-
Pranker: I WAS ACTUALLY YOU SEE- I WAS GO- I WAS GONNA GET ME A GALLON JUG, fr- from WATER PLACE and get some LITTLE BOLTS in there-
Pranker: and then we can make like, one of them MEGA GRAVITY BONGS, you know what I'm- I love- I LOVE ME-
Lady: Oh wow. I-
Pranker: some gravity bong-
Lady: I KNOW NOTHING uhm, I won't be able to speak on that at all actually on the company phone, so-
Pranker: I- I completely understand, you know, I- I'm not trying to put you in a TOUGH PLACE, but okay, so, you know, [clears throat]-
Pranker: I'm- Imma be there, Imma come in early today, you know, after four, you know, we can, you know, "HANG OUT" together, but-
Pranker: I- LET ME TALK TO HEATHER.
Lady: Okay, one moment.
Pranker: Okay! [phone ringing]
Manager: [censored] how may I help you?
Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Hey yo, what's up BOO BOO, how you doing today?
Manager: I'm good, thank you, how are you?
Pranker: Who- who is this again? I'm sorry, like, I forgot to ask your name.
Manager: JOHN WAYNE.
Pranker: Oh y- you- you said- you Jo- JOHN WAYNE?
Manager: Uh huh.
Pranker: I gotta SHIFT TODAY, so I was gonna see if like- if somebody can cover for me? A- a-
Pranker: any chance that could be you?
Manager: [giggles] Which department do you work in?
Pranker: Well- I'm- I'm over there in the TOOL RENTAL CENTER so like- I- I gotta like just to be honest between-
Pranker: you and I Boo Boo, um, my- my homeboy just came from out of town, you know what I'm saying? He throwing-
Pranker: A BIG ASS PARTY TONIGHT so like- he been begging me to go and stuff like that, all the homies giving me-
Pranker: a lot of heat for like not trying show up, so I'm- so I'm trying to go in TONIGHT, you know what I'm saying?
Pranker: I'm trying to go HAM.
Manager: I can't cover your shift.
Pranker: BY THE WAY THOUGH, I do- I- I am gonna skip out on work regardless and I do got the JOHN WAYNE BOX SET if you wanna come over tonight, so like-
Manager: Nobody- you can't tell them you're gonna- PROMOTE SOME BIG STUFF, that's stuff you can't come to work, you can't tell them that though.
Pranker: Yeah I know, I know- I'm- Imma tell them like uh what do you think is a good excuse right? Be like- I gotta FAMILY EMERGENCY? Or like- you should-
Manager: [giggles] You want me to help- you want me to help you to tell a lie?
Pranker: YEAH- I mean like- just like- you know, you and I like- WE HOMIES and stuff like- just like- you know- he- help me out one day, I'll help you out-
Manager: [burp] Just a little white lie right?
Pranker: YEAH, just a little WHITE LIE EXACTLY that's white just like a little white- with like- just a- a little- REAL CAUCASIAN LIE, you know what I'm saying?
Manager: [laughing] You're funny.
Pranker: Oh, oh, oh, th- th- thanks boo boo! I appreciate you! I mean, that's what, I was trying to say! If you wanna come watch some westerns tonight, you know-
Pranker: w- we could wear COWBOY HATS and uh- I COULD RIDE YOU LIKE A STALLION, you know I'm saying? OKAY, alright, maybe I-
Manager: I'm gonna- trans- I'm gonna trans- I'm gonna transfer you to a manager-
Manager: You have a good day.
Pranker: Okay, I came on too strong, alright, let me go ahead transfer me please.
Manager: Thank you sir.
Pranker: [laughing] [phone ringing]
Lady: Hello, tool rental.
Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Yeah, what's up man, how are you doing?
Lady: I'm good sir, how are you?
Pranker: Okay, excellent! I'm doing okay, thank you, for asking, I actually- I working the uh- the RENTAL DEPARTMENT? I wanted to talk to someboodee today about-
Pranker: calling off of the work?
Lady: Uh, hold on one second.
Pranker: Uh- where are you going, you know?
Lady: You trying to call out, so you need to talk to a manager.
Pranker: I know- but I wanted to talk to you like- a- MAN TO MAN about, can I get your opinion real quick, please?
Lady: I'm not A MAN, so I can't help you.
Pranker: Oh, I'M SO S- I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THAT, you know? I gotta confused, I'm sorry about that, ma'am!
Lady: It's okay! [giggles]
Pranker: Yeah okay, quick question, uh, I actually- I'm in the bathroom inside the HOME DEPOT right now, I got kind of a f- uh- like a- like a FARK UP, yesterday?
Pranker: I- I- I took a MOLLY this morning by accident and I'm kind of- ROLLING in a BATHROOM and I'm kind of SCARED, I don't know what to do but I want to get off of-
Pranker: working without losing my job what do you think about that?
Lady: You wanna do what, without losing your job?
Pranker: I want to take off without losing my job, you know? I'm just SITTING HERE in the store right now like a- seeing like SHAPES AND CRAP ALL OVER the place but I-
Pranker: I don't know what to do, you know?
Lady: Um, okay, you work at this STORE?!
Pranker: Yeah, right, right.
Lady: Uh, okay, you want me to send a MANAGER IN THERE TO TALK TO YOU?
Pranker: Aw, man, you- how you gonna go do me like that? I try to ask for your- for your help like between-
Lady: WELL I CAN'T DO ANYTHING MYSELF- LIKE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I'M IN A- I'M NOT- I'M NOT A MANAGER I can't-
Pranker: I know- but- but you try to pull a FAST ONE VERY SNEAKY, you know? Put me on the speaker telephone, you know? I know what you do it, right?
Lady: Um, no?
Pranker: BECAUSE MY FEELING HURT, you know? I thought we were- I thought you PINKY SWEAR ME, okay? I thought we were like a- brothers, you know? I thought we were close, we trust each other-
Pranker: but you- try to-
Lady: I NO, I mean- I don't- I'm trying to figure out what you need.
Pranker: THERE WE GO-
Lady: I have- I was like- I HAVE WORK to do, I'm trying to figure out what you need.
Pranker: I got you- so yeah, like I said now that we have some privacy again. I took some MOLLY earlier today and I'm ROLLING, ROLLING SO HARD, you know? I'm sitting here in the BATHROOM-
Pranker: I put on the Spotify and I'm GRINDING UP AGAINST the bathroom stall, you know? So like- I- I- I don't know what to do.
Lady: I'LL SEND SOMEONE IN THERE FOR YOU.
Pranker: A- A- ANY CHANCE YOU WANT TO W- what time you get off work, because I'm taking off work today, if- if- if you- if I- if I'm gonna take off work, we can PARTY or something, right like? I have one more in my pocket.
Lady: [hang up]
Pranker: Hello?! [laughing]