Category: Holiday pranks, prank calls
Format: Not Subtitled
Characters: Billy, Tyrone, Juan, Chris
Prank Victim: Thanksgiving turkey hotline
Rage Level: Feel good
- “Come on honey boo boo, you can do it, I believe, flick that tongue.”
- “I got too close and he pecked me in the gobbler and then bit me in the teste, you know what I'm saying?”
- “You know, I'm pretty fit. I wouldn't say I have a rack, haha. You silly goose.”
- “Okay, Is- is- is the turkey's, forgive me if this is a stupid question, but is the turkey's penis edible by any chance?”
Body of content:
In celebration of Thanksgiving, I did a series of prank calls to a Thanksgiving turkey hotline! The ladies on the hotline were SO sweet through talking to four different Ownage characters and their crazy questions. Should I do a new Thanksgiving turkey prank call on the hotline this year? Tell me in the comments below!
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[glass break sound]
Pranker [speaking to audience]: This is a prank to a turkey hotline that offers free Thanksgiving cooking advice.
Pranker: There wasn't enough time to subtitle it, unfortunately, but I figure it be better to share this-
Pranker: ridiculous prank with you today rather than not posting it at all. Happy Thanksgiving.
Lady: Good afternoon, this is [censored], how can I help you?
Pranker [speaking as Billy]: Uh yeah, hi there. I did have a question for y'all, I'm over here on the turkey farm-
Pranker: and I wanted to see, if y'all had any insight about, you know, what might be a good one to grab.
Lady: So, ok, so how- how many people are you gonna be cooking for?
Pranker: Uh, you know, me and my family, probably about, you know, 30.
Lady: 30! Ok wow! Ok.
Pranker: I got my brother Barry, you know, my uncle Billy Bob, I gotta another named uh Bow, we got Bobby Joe-
Pranker: we got Bowdeen, we got Buck and Buddy and Charles-
Pranker: Ray and Chester and Cleetus.
Lady: Oh wow, ok! Those are all good names! [chuckles]
Pranker: Yeah, and in alphabetical order actually. [chuckles]
Lady: How about that, okay.
Pranker: What would you recommend in terms of like, what should their gobble sound like?
Lady: GOBBLE? GEE! I have no clue [chuckles]
Pranker: Y'all are neck deep in some turkeys over there, so I figure y'all might have some insight, right?
Lady: Oh, well, here we are just answering questions we are not on the turkey farm, but I suppose you just have to-
Pranker: Would you mind just giving me your best gobble so I could kind of try to find one that sounds like you maybe?
Lady: [chuckles] Oh God. Something like [turkey sound], yeah, well your's is better. Your gobble is much better than mine.
Pranker: I'm good at sound effect sometimes, you know what I'm saying? [turkey sound]
Lady: Okay, but see you use more of the tongue action. [turkey sound]
Pranker: Come on honey boo boo, you can do it, I believe, flick that tongue.
Lady: Ah, I don't think so, let's see, gobble, gobble, no, no, that's- that's- you know-
Pranker: [giggles] You're- you're a silly goose, or a silly turkey, if you know what I'm saying? You don't have to say the words gobble gobble-
Pranker: you just gotta go, [turkey sound].
Lady: I guess I have to hang out more with the crowd, both turkeys on the turkey farm, then I'll eventually I'll get it.
Pranker: Okay, but honestly, it would make my day to hear you try.
Lady: Okay, [turkey sound] [laughs] I can't do it like you, you're an expert.
Pranker: You're almost there really, you just gotta loosen the tongue, you know, you're too stiff, I feel like you've been sitting down for too long.
Lady: Yeah I know.
Pranker: Like they got you cooped up in that chair all day.
Lady: Yeah, you're right, you're right, I'll pass.
Pranker: Just stand up loud and proud and tell them: "Ladies and gentleman [turkey sound]."
Lady: Okay, I'm not gonna do that in front of everybody but [turkey sound], how's that? [laughs]
Lady: I think that it was better, I think it was better than before. What do you think?
Pranker: Honestly, you see, you took my advice and you're improving and, you know, I'm so impressed.
Lady: Oh, okay, [laughs].
Pranker: I could try to put the turkey next to the telephone maybe if I walk up to it when maybe you can tell me if it sounds like-
Lady: There you go, alright, [chuckles]. You can do that [laughs].
Pranker: See, I tried to get too close, you know, he pick me in the gobbler, you know what I'm saying?
Lady: [laughs] Yeah, you gotta be careful.
Pranker: I know, I got too close and he pecked me in the gobbler and then bit me in the testy, you know what I'm saying?
Pranker: So I got- I got scared to go back, so that's why I called y'all to see if you could give me some insight on sound.
Lady: I'll practice until I talk to you again. How's that?
Lady: Have a great Thanksgiving.
Pranker: Alrighty, I love you now.
Lady: Okay, I love you too. Okay, bye, bye.
Pranker: Okay, kiss me.
Lady: Kiss, kiss, muah.
Pranker: Okay, thank you honey.
Lady: [laughs] Alright, bye bye.
Pranker: Bye, bye. [laughs]
Lady1: Thank you for contacting [censored]
Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Oh yeah, hi there ma'am, how you doing?
Lady1: I'm good, how are you?
Pranker: I'm excellent, see I was just calling about the uh- you know I'm trying to, you know, make a turkey for-
Pranker: for- for my boo boo this year, and I've been struggling you know, uh- to- to be much of a chef in the past-
Pranker: so I want to see if you know you have something like a one-stop shop to make some turkey?
Lady1: We recommend just basically doing an open pan method where you put the whole turkey. You don't need to cover it-
Lady1: you just put it in the oven.
Pranker: But, you know, I want something juicy, but like, I just want to suck the saliva out of my mouth, you know what I'm saying?
Pranker: So, like, is it gonna be dry or?
Lady1: We've actually been doing that here for the whole month to kind of see how they turn out.
Pranker: Wait, so like, do you all have like an over over there at the call center, or like- like, how often y'all take-
Lady1: Yes, we do.
Pranker: oh wow! So like?
Lady1: Right now, we've been cooking, uhm, can we just get your zip code very quickly sir?
Pranker: Yeah, yeah, it's [censored].
Pranker: And, and-
Lady1: So, we need to always have an idea where our customers call are calling from and-
Pranker: and if you don't mind me asking, what's the zip code of your headquarters?
Lady1: Yeah sir, is there anything else I can answer for you or?
Pranker: Oh yeah, for sure, I'm just- I was wondering honestly, I would- I would love to check out the facility or like- [blows] If anything-
Lady1: We're usually not open to the public.
Pranker: no, I got you but like, you must have some dumpsters out back or something with some leftover turkey in it, right?
Lady1: Is there- is there anything else I can help you with?
Pranker: If I get to come through the facility, what was your name so I can say hi?
Lady1: Okay, thank you very much, bye, bye.
Pranker: Sorry, what was that name? [laughing] [phone ringing]
Lady2: [censored], how can I help you?
Pranker [speaking as Alejandro Juan Martinez]: Yeah, hello, I see your advertisement for the turkey, I want to call to get some information.
Lady2: Okay, yes, I will try to help you as best as I can.
Pranker: Okay, perfecto, thank you. So I wanna know, I never cooking a turkey before, you know, we're having our first Thanksgiving here-
Pranker: and I was wondering, I having, you know, I have one charcoal grill, and I was wondering, you know, how can I maybe cook on this?
Lady2: Okay, on the charcoal grill, you're saying?
Pranker: Sí, yeah.
Lady2: Yes, okay. Are you Spanish speaking can I ask or?
Pranker: Ah, no, I speak English.
Lady2: Oh, okay, very good. Okay, yeah, I can understand everything so far, sir, because we have a couple Spanish speaking women here, I just, you know, sometimes-
Pranker: Okay, no, I- I- I- I appreciate it, I- I appreciate it.
Lady2: Yeah, no, no, you're very understandable.
Pranker: Thank you. Do you have any Mexican-inspired recipe like, you know?
Lady2: I would just suggest going on the website.
Pranker: On my telephone here, I having one Nokia telephone, when I have to type on my telephone, you know, to type in butter, I have to type, you know-
Pranker: 2, 2, and then, you know, a, a, and then like, a, a, yeah, too much.
Lady2: Oh dear, yeah.
Pranker: Yeah, I'm just trying to think here how to make it, like you know, Mexican-inspired, I was thinking of putting avocado inside it, but I don't know if it'll be good.
Lady2: I just don't know, because that's gonna almost be really melting in there, you know?
Pranker: Yeah, but very creamy, right, too- too much.
Lady2: Yeah, you think it'd have that creamy texture but-
Pranker: Yeah, I use the Google too, but you know I- I- when I want to use the Google on my telephone, you know, I have to- to go to Google I have to you know-
Pranker: number 4, and then I have 2, you know, 666, and then I have to space, and then a 666 again.
Lady2: Yes, yes.
Parnker: And then a 555.
Lady2: Yes, yes, one of these days, you'll update the phone, but I know what you mean, yeah, I still had a phone that did more, you know, it's slower going and it's frustrating.
Pranker: Yeah, I know for sure, what about you, what is your plan for Thanksgiving? You're gonna be with your family?
Lady2: Well, hones- I have to be working here, that is one requirement of doing this, we are here that day but I get off about 3 o'clock.
Pranker: Okay, that's very excite, so you're gonna have Thanksgiving just a little bit later.
Lady2: A little bit later, that same day, yeah.
Pranker: I was just wondering, you know, is there any chance, you know- you know, this Thanksgiving, you know, you having like at the dinner table, you know, maybe one extra seat-
Lady2: Oh- [laughing]
Pranker: so I can come have food with you?
Lady2: I have a feeling you're probably a little far away though, where do you live? Which town are you in?
Pranker: I'm in Chicago.
Lady2: Oh, are you in Chicago [laughing], what a coincidence.
Pranker: Yeah, I- I- I- it is perfect, you know, you're like my neighbor, you'll be like 5 minutes.
Lady2: You know, I think that's one way to get to know your neighbors, you can invite a couple of them over for your Mexican-style turkey on the charcoal grill and I bet they'd be very-
Lady2: you know, impressed and well-fed at that meal.
Pranker: No for sure, and I honestly- I just want to make some new friends, so you know, if I make my turkey on the charcoal, maybe I can bring it for you guys in a call center and I can come-
Lady2: [laughing] Well, that's very hospitable thought of you [laughing]
Pranker: But, no but, but really no more joking, but can I come?
Lady2: You know, I wish I could invite you over here, we're not allowed to give out the address of here, because some other callers might, you know, they wouldn't have the best intentions like you have.
Pranker: No, no, of course, I get it, you know, I'll make you a nice flan, you know, I make you a desert, you know, I can make you something very good, I bring a tortilla-
Pranker: and bring some guacamole.
Lady2: Oh my goodness, okay, that's- that is really hard to turn down, it really is. Oh my God. I hope you find just the right recipe, if you can look on maybe with a computer, it's better than the phone-
Lady2: to be able to look at some of them.
Pranker: No, no, no, well, just so you know, just so you know, I have a text message right, so if you wanna text me and others it's okay.
Lady2: Oh, [laughing].
Lady2: Okay, well thank you again and have a wonderful Thanksgiving and welcome to the country.
Pranker: Oh, thank you, okay, okay-
Lady2: You're gonna be here now.
Pranker: YOU’RE GONNA BE A GRANDMOOOOTHER, okay, thank you. Yeah!
Lady2: Okay, bye, bye.
Pranker: [laughing] [phone ringing]
Lady3: Good afternoon [censored], this is Joanne, how can I help you?
Pranker [speaking as Chris]: Yeah, I was just hoping to get some insight, like I was planning on making like a turkey for my man and I was just wondering if uh- you had any ideas-
Pranker: I'm not really too keen on cooking in the kitchen, but I- it's a special occasion, you know, you're supposed to have family and- and love and all those things, so, you know?
Lady3: Okay, what we recommend is the open pan method where you'd have a shallow pan about 2 and a half inches deep and have a rack. Do you have a rack?
Pranker: You know, I'm pretty fit. I wouldn't say I have a rack, haha. You silly goose.
Lady3: [giggles] Okay, you know what size turkey you're gonna get?
Pranker: Hon- honestly, just something to feed like 2 people so I don't know, like I was hoping to get a whole one though, because like I want to like, you know, like, I want to stuff that be-
Pranker: I want to be able to baste it, I want to like, you know?
Lady3: So, say you have a 6 pound, you'll want to cook if for uhm, and you want it stuffed huh? So, you want like it 2 and a half to 3 hours.
Pranker: Okay, Is- is- is the turkey's forgive me if this is a stupid question, but is the turkey's penis edible by any chance?
Lady3: You know what, I think we're done, I think we're done.
Pranker: I- I- I started this with forgive- [laughing] [speaking to audience]: She hung up. [laughing].