Spanish Wax Prank - Hair Removal Prank

Best quotes: 

• “And my a- como se dice? Uh, my culo (my ass), my- my- my ass!”
• “I want to make- if I try to make a SEXY TIME with her, she is telling me NO! VERY SMELLY!”
• “I don't wanna be at work and, you know? SCRATCH- SCRATCH, my ass, it's gonna be very embarrassing.”

Body of content:

Juan needs a wax right away, or his wife isn’t going to give him any love!! I did this awkward hair removal prank call on a waxing salon, and they weren’t ready for Juan to go into details about his hairy problems! How far will a spa go to deal with such a weird customer? Let me know what you thought of this prank call in the comments below!

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Transcript

[phone ringing]

Lady: Hi, thank you for calling the Waxing Company, how can I help you?

Pranker [speaking as Alejandro Juan Martinez]: Hola, como estas? (Hi, how are you?) My name is eh, Juan Martinez, I-

Pranker: I'm calling porque (because) I saw an advertisement for waxing?

Lady: You wanna make a waxing appointment?

Pranker: Si!

Lady: Ok, have you been here before?

Pranker: No, it's my- it's my first time, porque, I want to get- I want to get waxing done on my front and my back-

Lady: Your- your what, I'm sorry?

Pranker: I want to get waxing done on my front, my- my downstairs and my back.

Lady: Okay, let's see, uhm, I have- did you want your full back? Or half back?

Pranker: No, I'm- I'm sorry, como se dice? (how do you say?), I want to get- I want to get on my- on my- my garden downstairs!

Pranker: And my a- como se dice? Uh, my culo (my ass), my- my- my ass!

Lady: Okay, let's see, I'm sorry, can I put you on hold for just one moment?

Pranker: Si!

Lady: Thank you! [quiet music in the background]

Lady: Hola, buenos dias (Hello, good morning). Hello?

Pranker: Hello?

Lady: Hola!

Pranker: Hola, como estas?

Lady: Bien, y usted? (Good, and you?)

Pranker: I'm good, uhm, Mi llamo Juan Martinez, I'm calling, porque I wanna get- I wanna get some waxing done, for my- for a-

Pranker: I saw an advertisement to get a waxing done, I want to get my- my front and my back, my- my- my- my garden downstairs-

Pranker: and my- my culo.

Lady: Uh huh, entonces quieres tu espalda? (So, you want your back?)

Pranker: C- can- can we-

Lady: Pecho? (Chest?)

Pranker: I- I'm sorry- I- my- my wife, I- I promise her I'm going to talk in English, porque I want to learn the language properly.

Pranker: So, can me and you talk English?

Lady: Sure, I speak English.

Pranker: Okay, excellent, ok, great, okay, I want to get- my- my wife, she is telling me: "You are too hairy!" And, you know-

Pranker: she complain too much! I wanna- I wanna do surprise for her! In getting my waxing done UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS and make her happy!

Lady: Okay, what day would you like to come in?

Pranker: Can we do- let me- I wanna look here, my calendar, and, can we do uh- how about Friday?

Lady: Friday.

Pranker: Si!

Lady: Hm, Friday, just a second.

Pranker: Okay.

Lady: What time on Friday?

Pranker: Can we do- uh- let's say 2 o'clock?

Lady: 2 o'clock.

Pranker: Okay, but my wife, she is telling me, she complains too much, she is saying me, you know, it's- it's very smelly, si!

Pranker: She is telling me, I- I- I want to get my- my everything waxed back there, because, she complains all the time-

Pranker: she is telling me: "You are too smelly! It's because of the hair, BLAH, BLAH." She is telling it too much, you know?

Pranker: I want to make- if I try to make a SEXY TIME with her, she is telling me NO! VERY SMELLY! So I want to kno-

Lady: Where are you from sir?

Pranker: I'm sorry?

Lady: Where are you from?

Pranker: I am from, Texas.

Lady: You speak Spanish.

Pranker: Si!

Lady: Eres Mexicano entonce. (You are Mexican then)

Pranker: Porque? What- what- what makes you- what makes you think I'm Mexican?

Lady: Well, hablas espanol y (you speak Spanish and), ustedes de Mexico entonces (then you from Mexico), I meant-

Lady: es de Texas (you're from Texas).

Pranker: Oh wait, de donde eres? (Where are you from?)

Lady: Mande?

Pranker: De donde- where are you from?

Guy: Uh, yo soy de Hawaii (I am from Hawaii).

Pranker: OK! Okay, so you speaking, you learning, Spanish there right?

Lady: Si, mi esposa Mexicano (Yes, my spouse is Mexican).

Pranker: Oh, excellent, that is great! You got a very good one, okay, but I wanna ask you, is if I get the hair-

Pranker: GONE, is it gonna smell better?

Lady: Si? Yeah?

Pranker: Ok, and- and- and- and, how much meh- [egh], I mean, porque I'm- my- my friend, mi amigo, he tell me-

Pranker: he said if you get done, it's gonna be very ITCHY! Is it true?

Lady: Is it going to be itchy?

Pranker: Si! He is telling me it is gonna be very itchy!

Lady: No, that's more from shaving, waxing doesn't usually cause itching.

Pranker: Oh, okay, okay, so, so what- I'm not gonna ha- I don't- I don't wanna be at work and, you know?

Pranker: SCRATCH- SCRATCH, my ass, it's gonna be very embarrassing.

Lady: Uh huh.

Pranker: Si! Ok, uh and, how much uh- how much uh- the cost for- for this one?

Guy: What do you want to have done?

Pranker: I wanna get my- my- my- my- my front and my- my downstairs! And wax! My- my pubic area! And then my- MY ASS-

Lady: When you say front, do you mean your chest?

Pranker: No, I mean my- my GARDEN.

Lady: You just want a manzilian?

Pranker: Uh, my- my- my CHI-CHI, I- I don't know what-

Lady: Uh huh. Yes, it's 85 dollars.

Pranker: 85 dollars, ok, okay and-

Lady: Mhm.

Pranker: and, and, that's the front and the back, right?

Lady: Yes.

Pranker: Ok, and- and what time? Can I have somebody to come to my Hotel?

Guy: [giggles], we don't go to hotels, you have to come in here.

Pranker: Oh, CRAP. It's gonna be- it's gonna be very embarrassing, for me! I'm very- I'm very sorry!

Lady: Well, you have a private- you have a private room.

Pranker: I know! But I'm gonna be looking around, you know? I don't wanna tell her, she go-

Pranker: she is gonna be shopping, and I wanna have somebody COME COME to me! I pay extra money, you know?

Pranker: I want- I just want to get WAXED.

Lady: That's impossible sir.

Pranker: Ok, I- how much money? I can pay extra.

Lady: It's impossible, we don't do that.

Pranker: I will pay 500 DOLLARS.

Lady: I'm sorry, you're gonna have to find someone else, thank you though.

Pranker: Hello? Hello?

Lady: [hang up]

Pranker: List- hello? [laughing] [speaking to audience]: What?

[phone ringing]

Lady: Hello, [censored], can I help you?

Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Ah yeah, hello?

Lady: Yes.

Pranker: Ah yeah, uh, I'm calling back, my- my- my friend Juan just called uh-

Pranker: he was talking to somebody, he is one of my- one of my good friends here.

Pranker: me and, we both here with our wives and he told me-

Lady: Mhm.

Pranker: he was calling to get a waxing service done, and- and- and, somebody hung up on him?

Lady: Yeah, I just spoke to him, but I let him know that what he wants to have done we don't do.

Lady: We don't come to the hotel, you have to come into the sto- to the store.

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, but- but- but what happened though? Because I- well, he told me, he was all UPSET!

Pranker: And- and walked off, and I said: "What happened to you?" He's like: "Oh, she hung up on me."

Lady: Well, I'm sorry sir, but you know, he was using foul language, and he was asking for something that we don't provide.

Lady: So, if he wants to book something to come into the store, we can take care of that, but-

Pranker: Ok well, what- what- what-

Lady: we don't do what he's asking for.

Pranker: But wait, what I mean, I- I was just in the other room, and I heard him talking, I- I didn't hear any CRAZY-

Pranker: foul language or nothing, so I don't understand, are you making EXCUSES? Or, what's happening?

Lady: No, he did, he used foul language with me, but, like I said, you know, but we just don't offer what he's asking for-

Lady: so, would he like to book something?

Pranker: Uh, yeah, YEAH! He would, but, I think there was just a misunderstanding, because now he's like PISSED OFF-

Lady: Ok.

Pranker: and like, you know, "I- I don't wanna talk to her", you know, JUANITO is over here, he's- he's upset!

Pranker: and he- and he- he- I heard him though, he- he didn't say nothing too crazy, I- I didn't even hear him, he sounded pretty polite to me. So I-

Lady: Well, maybe.

Pranker: Well, I mean, why- why don't you tell me then? What- what did he say that was so- that was so VULGAR and- and TERRIBLE.

Lady: You know, that's not really, something I'm gonna repeat here at the store, we have clients in the store at the time, so-

Pranker: Oh, I mean you-

Lady: If you wanna book something we can take care of that.

Pranker: I mean, if you want we could pretend like it's a SPELLING bee, and spell it for me, or put it in a sentence or give me a definition.

Lady: No, I'm not gonna do that sir.

Pranker: Alright, well, would you- will you apologize to him if I put him back on the phone?

Lady: You can put him back on the phone if you'd like to.

Pranker: Will you say SORRY?

Lady: For what?

Pranker: For- for hanging up on him! Because he- he's a very- he's a very TOUCHY FEELY kind of guy, now he's all upset, he's like:

Pranker: "She hung up on me, si, si, si!" He's getting all ANGRY.

Lady: Sir, we're really very busy, would you like to book an appointment?

Pranker: Yeah, he-

Lady: Or not-

Pranker: I mean, it- yeah, I'm sure he would love too! But, I mean if you wanna get his BUSINESS, you might wanna say sorry-

Pranker: for hanging up on him, because, it is kind of rude, you know I'm saying? Y- y'all business he is calling for services or misunderstanding!

Pranker: You know, the language barrier and everything, you- you got- y'all hung up on him.

Lady: I actually speak Spanish, there wasn't a language barri- can I put you on hold for just a moment, please?

Pranker: Uh, okay, don't take too long now, because I gotta GO. But, alright. Go ahead.

Lady: Just a moment.

[phone ringing]

Lady: Thank you for calling [censored], how can I help you?

Pranker: Uh yeah, I was just on hold for like- for like five-six minutes and I was on hold for somebody, I don't know if they-

Pranker: forgot about me or what happened?

Lady: Okay, did you have a question about something? Did you wanna book something?

Pranker: Uh yeah, well, I was- I was on hold with- with- with a young lady who spoke Spanish, I would like to talk to her again.

Lady: I'm sorry, but she's unavailable right now, can I help you?

Pranker: But- but- but she put me on hold, and I was waiting for her, and she never came BACK, that's kind of rude. So, can I talk to her?

Lady: Okay, so you can- you can talk to me, I can answer your question.

Pranker: Oh, well when- where can I call her back? Or when will she be there?

Lady: I'm sorry, but she is in service right now.

Pranker: Okay, so, I call back in like 15-20 minutes, she'll be done?

Lady: Uhm, no, you can talk to me and I can answer your questions right now if you'd like, sir.

Pranker: Okay, or- or I can call-

Lady: Can I have your name and number?

Pranker: Uh, yeah- yeah- yeah sure, but I- or I can call back in fifteen minutes and talk to her, right?

Lady: No, why don't you give me your name, and your number?

Pranker: What- what's the purpose of THAT?

Lady: So, that I can maybe have her call you back, if she's available, or someone else can help you to answer your question?

Pranker: No, it's all good! I care because she- it's a- it's a long story, you won't understand it, so-

Lady: It's a long story? Ok, well, why don't you give me your NAME AND NUMBER?

Pranker: Yeah, well I, ok I'll- can I just call her back in fifteen minutes?

Lady: Uh no, you can't sir, I'm sorry, because she's gonna be in service, she's very busy all day.

Pranker: Well, I will-

Lady: So, if you're- yeah! If you have any questions or comments, I can help you!

Pranker: Well yeah, but the thing is, that she owes my friend a little APOLOGY, so you ain't gonna be able to help me.

Lady: Ok sir, I'm sorry, I'm going to end this call, ok?

Pranker: So in fif-

Lady: Thank you.

Pranker: so in fifteen minutes I can call back, right?

Lady: Thank you very much bye, bye.

Pranker: Talk to you soon, LOVE YOU. [laughing]

[phone ringing] [pranker clears throat]

Lady: Thank you for calling [censored], how can I help you?

Pranker [speaking as Alejandro Juan Martinez]: Hola, como estas? Uh, my name is Juan Martinez, I am calling before, I talked to some lady and-

Pranker: and, she hung up on ME! And I have my friend calling right now, and somebody hung up on HIM! So, I wanna understand what happened?

Lady: Ok, how can I help you sir, would you like to book a service?

Pranker: Yeah I- I would, but I- I want to talk to this- this lady who hang up on ME! You know, it's not a good CUSTOMER SERVICE! And- and- and-

Pranker: HURT MY- HURT MY FEELINGS!

Lady: Ok, if you folks call back again, we're gonna call the police-

Pranker: Excuse me!

Lady: do not call back. Thank you, bye, bye.

Pranker: EXCUSE ME! Excuse me-

Lady: [hang up]

Pranker: hola [laughing].