Category: Prank calls, Craigslist and Backpage pranks
Characters: Buk Lau, Tyrone
Prank Victim: Ad respondent
Rage Level: Feel-good
- “YOU MIGHT BE THE PING-PONG ASS SHOOTING ALL-STAR, you know?”
- “How big is your TOOTSIE ROLL DOWNSTAIRS?”
- “You sound like you doing CALCULATIONS or something! CARRY THE 2 CROSS THE 1, WHAT THE FARK?”
Body of content:
This is one of the rare occasions where someone gets just as much of a laugh out of the prank as I did while it was happening! I put up an ad on Craigslist in Australia pretending to be a young woman who was offering free sensual massages. When someone responded to the ad, I called him and let him in on a secret - Au Nage (Buk Lau) was looking for a guy to dominate in the bedroom!
The whole scenario had the guy cracking up, he even insisted I should take up being a comedian. I had to break the prank to him in the end so he could know he was right all along! Should I try to do another massage prank call to see how others react? Let me know what you thought of this call in the comments below!
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Pranker [speaking to audience]: My buddies and I posted an ad in Australia as Buk Lau or Au Nage-
Pranker: to trick some guys into responding for a free sensual massage. Here's what happened when I called one of them.
Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: HEY MOTHERFARKA! It's me.
Pranker: Hello, it's Au Nage!
Guy: I don't know Onaghi?
Pranker: I am the SEXY ASIAN LADY, you email me! REMEMBER?
Guy: OH! Okay.
Pranker: Right, right, right.
Guy: Ehm, how's it going?
Pranker: I'm great! How are you doing motherfarka?
Guy: [giggles] Oh ho great, great, fantastic, great!
Pranker: GREAT BUT, remember we talk about in the email that I- I want to try something new finally.
Pranker: You know, my- my husband he's very, very, VERY MEAN TO ME VERY, VERY, VERY ROUGH, VERY NOT NICE!
Pranker: And I want to try to be THE DOMINANT LADY! I want to be dominant! And I want to ABUSE YOU!
Guy: Huh, OK!
Pranker: The yeah!
Guy: No, I'm not into that!
Pranker: But why not?
Guy: That's just not my thing. I'm not into S&M.
Pranker: Okay, but- can it- can we at least talk about SOME POTENTIAL SCENARIO! But, maybe you can say YES OR NO?
Guy: Yeah, yeah, yeah that's fine!
Pranker: Basically I was, I was hoping that we- my favorite sport is the TABLE TENNIS, okay? I was hoping-
Pranker: that maybe we can do something with a PING-PONG PADDLE! The PING-PONG BALLS! And the-
Guy: Playing ping-pong yeah! Fantastic!
Pranker: Yeah so, I want to know, maybe we- maybe I can have you BEND OVER right on the BED, and then I stick a-
Pranker: 1 PING-PONG BALL in your butthole, right? And then you can show to me how far you SHOOT IT!
Guy: Yeah okay, you're funny-
Pranker: What do you think?
Pranker: Is- IT'S NOT FUNNY!
Guy: I don't want to do that.
Pranker: Ok! LOOK. I try to-
Pranker: I try to try something new, you know?
Pranker: YOU HAVE TO BE THE OPEN MINDED, you never know! YOU MIGHT BE THE PING-PONG ASS SHOOTING ALL-STAR, you know?
Guy: I could be! I could be! Are you uhm, eh are you FULL GIRL?
Pranker: AM I WHAT?
Guy: Are you- are you- ar- are you a full girl? Eh, do you have a vagina?
Pranker: I WHAT? I DO! Did you- do you think I DON'T HAVE IT?
Guy: Well yeah, sometimes you never know, you know there's- there's been uh- uh you know you- you look full girl!
Guy: But sometimes you just can't tell, you know, in the picture!
Pranker: Duh yeah, you know, I- you see my picture! Right, I have a very BEAUTIFUL BODY, you know? MOTHERFARKA!
Guy: Yes, yes, yes.
Pranker: I want to, BEND YOU OVER, put a STRAP-ON, AND FARK YOU IN THE ASS!
Guy: No, I don't wanna do that!
Pranker: It's a small one! You know, it's only like, like a 4 INCHES, you know?
Pranker: Eh, is not- it won't- it won't hurting- it will be like, it- it- it will feel like you TAKING A CRAP-
Pranker: or something! Don't worry!
Guy: [laughing] Ah, you're funny! Ahh-
Pranker: Okay, [lip smack] DO WITH ME!
Pranker: M- may- maybe it's not even A STRAP-ON, you know?
Guy: [laughing] Uh-
Pranker: How big is your TOOTSIE ROLL DOWNSTAIRS?
Guy: Ah, just uhm, my uh, probably uh-
Pranker: WHAT ARE YOU THINK CALCULATION OR SOMETHING?
Guy: No, no, no.
Pranker: You sound like you doing CALCULATIONS or something! CARRY THE 2 CROSS THE 1, WHAT THE FARK? Do you have a-
Guy: I don't know if I'm-
Pranker: DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Guy: ready for that! Uhm, uhm, yeah I do.
Pranker: Okay, but you not married or anything like that, right?
Pranker: Is she, is she the SEXY ONE like me, or? She like a FAT LADY or something? FAT CHUBBY MOTHERFARKA, you know?
Guy: [laughing] No, she's alright, yeah.
Pranker: OK! It's okay you don't want to be mean! You say she's alright, BASICALLY, you mean she's like 2.7 OUT OF TEN. Right? [giggles]
Guy: [laughing] Yeah, you could be a comedian you know!
Pranker: Why- why do you think that?
Guy: You ever done comedy?
Pranker: No, I don't, I don't do COMEDY! You know, I try to, I just try to do the EXPERIMENTATION! With the people! On the- I try to find somebody-
Pranker: who want to be the RIGHT ONE FOR ME! You know?
Guy: Yeah, yeah, eh, you're great, you're so funny!
Pranker: Well- THANK YOU! You ar- I make you laugh LIKE A SO MUCH!
Guy: [laughing] You're great! You're a really funny lady! You know that?
Pranker: Oh, thank you! Like a so much! You know if I was there, I would give you a KISS! THEN BEND YOU OVER AND FARK YOU FROM THE BACK.
Guy: [laughing] You could take this on the road! [laughing]
Pranker: Gen- but- but very- VERY GENTLY! You know it's your FIRST TIME! So at first I get the OIL, or something, I GET THE CANDLE!
Pranker: Get the SEXY MUSIC, have the- have the you know, R&B playing! Maybe R KELLY in the background! [singing] I FARK YOU RIGHT I WILL! I FARK YOU, RIGHT I WILL! You know the song?
Guy: You- got to get in the right mood don't you? [laughing]
Pranker: RIGHT. EXCELLENT! Yeah.
Pranker: So okay-
Guy: Uhm, when were you thinking of uhm, of uhm of, getting together?
Pranker: I think maybe like- maybe we can DO the this we- you want to do this weekend?
Guy: Ah weekends no good.
Pranker: Yeah I- I- I work on the weekday! Usually but, at night, I FREE! But what time at night are you usually available?
Guy: Uh, you know like- after work hours and- sort of after five.
Pranker: OKAY. OKAY. And- do you think eh- do you know some people they like to- they like the- the humiliation, they like to be-
Pranker: LAUGH AT, do you think maybe you can sit on a BARSTOOL, and I can laugh at your small TOOTSIE ROLL, for a little bit before we start?
Guy: [laughing] NO! [laughing]
Pranker: I want to, I want to look at it, and point and go [laughing] SO SMALL! You know!
Guy: No? [laughing]
Pranker: Okay, IS OKAY! You know, it's okay! I don't want to make you LIKE A TOO SELF CONSCIOUS! You know?
Guy: [laughing] Eh, I mean I've been building up on my ego for the last uh, 40 years you know, I just uh, it's taken a long time.
Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Yeah, I ain't trying to hurt your FEELING OR NOTHING DAWG, you know I'm saying?
Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Yeah, you know I don't want to make you CRY or something!
Guy: [laughing] Ah, you're so funny! Was that you, the second voice?
Pranker: What- what the?
Guy: Was that you or someone else?
Pranker: WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Guy: Heh, I don't know, [laughing]
Pranker: You know sometime! You know s- what I do sometime what I do, I- I try to- I try to TUG ON MY BALLSACK!
Pranker: and then it become like a BLACK GUY, you know?
Guy: [laughing] Oh, this is great!
Pranker: Okay look-
Guy: You're really funny!
Pranker: LOOK! LOOK! EHH, [clears throat] [speaking as Tyrone]: YO DAWG! [speaking as Buk Lau]: OH, WHAT THE HECK HAPPEN?
Guy: [laughing] You know what? I- I've got a friend that would love you so much. [laughing]
Pranker: REALLY? Who is your friend?
Guy: Eh he, would think that you're the BEE'S KNEES!
Pranker: Well, I thank you! VERY MUCH! You know, you want me to CALL HIM, we can do THREE WAY, you know?
Pranker: Give me his phone number, I CALL HIM RIGHT NOW.
Guy: Yeah why not, why not. Can be a big party.
Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Wait- CAN I COME TOO, er wh- WHAT'S POPPING? [speaking as Buk Lau]: WHAT?
Pranker: Oh okay! Duh yes!
Pranker: What- what is your- what is your name again SORRY?
Pranker: Oh okay, PSYMON! Okay Psymon! EXCELLENT. I like that, PSYMON.
Pranker [speaking as unknown character]: I WANT TO COME TO MY BROTHER!
Guy: [laughing] IT'S A PARTY!
Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Okay, EXCELLENT! EXCELLENT!
Guy: Okay well I- I've got to start getting on with the day now.
Pranker [speaking as Russell]: Alright, hey- hey- hey Simon! How's it going? This- my name is Russell.
Pranker: Uhm, wha- this is actually just a little uh, A LITTLE PRANK we were pulling, how are you doing today? [laughing]
Guy: [laughing] I hope I'm not on the radio! [laughing]
Pranker: Dude, you were- you were an absolutely incredible sport! That was so funny, I'm glad you got a kick out of that!
Guy: [laughing] You guys are so funny! [laughing]
Pranker: [laughing] Thanks man, I appreciate that! Were- wer- I actually do like a bunch stuff of uh, like pranks and stuff-
Pranker: on YouTube, and I was wondering if I could possibly give you A URL, you were asking me if I did some comedy stuff-
Pranker: and the truth is yeah, I do so, uhm, if you'd like, you could check out the stuff yourself!
Pranker: I don't know if you're interested or not.
Guy: Yeah, I'd love that! I'd love that yeah! Eh, this is great!
Guy: Well uhm yes, that- that's fine yeah, you can uhm, you're probably gonna ask my permission whether you can put it on YouTube, oh that's fine!
Guy: That's completely fine man, that's fine.
Pranker: Alright awesome dude, YOU'RE THE MAN! Uhm but yeah! The uh- the YouTu- The YouTube URL is, YOUTUBE.COM/OwnagePranks
Guy: P-R-A-N-K-S? Yes?
Pranker: That's correct yeah, the particular character, you just heard right now, the name is BUK-LAU! It's an Asian like, FEMALE-MALE HYBRID!
Pranker: Kind of just rolling with whatever people assume it is! Uhm but yeah, you could check out, those videos on the channel there-
Pranker: and see if you maybe get a kick out of it.
Guy: [laughing] That's great! Yeah well done!
Pranker: Alright, anyways the- thanks a lot for your time man! Really thank you for being a good sport about it, and being cool with it afterwards.
Guy: Okay thanks, see you!
Pranker: Alright man, take care! BYE, BYE.
Pranker: He is laughing as the phone call is hanging up, that was awesome. [laughing]