Category: Craigslist and Backpage pranks
Characters: Buk Lau, Abdo
Prank Victim: Filipino man
Rage Level: Mellow
- “I am not some like SRUTTY LADY”
- “I sit there like a dead sardine, right I sit there he BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!”
- “YOU’RE TRYING TO DO ZA BOOM BOOM BOOM IN ZA BATHROOM WIZ MY WIFE!”
Body of content:
I posted an ad on Kijiji (the Canadian equivalent of Craigslist), claiming to be a beautiful young Asian woman named Au Nage’. I stated in the ad that I was looking to cheat on my abusive husband and give the right man a sensual massage. Included in the ad were a few fake pictures, which were convincing enough to catch the attention of a Filipino man who wanted to meet up!
When I gave this guy a call using the Buk Lau voice, he wasn’t put off at all by the fact that Au Nage’ was supposedly someone’s wife who was only interested in him for some revenge cheating. In fact, he even admits he’s married himself and is eager to meet up!
I got so into character during the prank that I managed to pull off a two-character conversation that made it sound like Abdo was beating up on his “wife” Au Nage’! The guy on the phone bought the whole scenario and got spooked! Maybe this prank will scare him away from other sleazy ads on the Internet.
It’s funny to imagine a beautiful young Asian girl sounding like Buk Lau - I’m surprised he wasn’t suspicious! Would you like to see more pranks from ridiculous fake ads? What types of scenarios should I use in the future on sites like Craigslist and Kijiji? Maybe I can pull off another wife cheating prank! Tell me your thoughts in the comments.
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Filipino guy: Hello!
Pranker: Duh hello?
Filipino guy: Hello?
Pranker: Duh yeah I-I, I get yo e-mail, about my advertisement, for the, uh MASSAGE
Filipino guy: E-mail for the uhh, massage..Yeah?
Pranker: Right, right.
Filipino guy: Who's this?
Pranker: De- Thi- This is AU NAGE'! But my, my real name is a BUK-LAU!
Filipino guy: It it in kijiji?
Pranker: RIGHT!You forget already?
Filipino guy: Ah let me, I-I forgot!
Pranker: Uh are you-Are you da FILIPINO GUY?
Filipino guy: Yeah?
Pranker: OH MY GOD! I like that you know! I like that a lot.
Filipino guy: Oh okay so you're, uh doing what?
Pranker: I-I give the massage! You know you answer me! I told you I-I-...
Pranker:... My-My husband, you know I have a little bit of problem with him...
Pranker:... And I don't like it, but I want to find somebody to give them the, uh the good time!
Filipino guy: OH! Oh okay! Oh okay!
Pranker: Yeah you-you don't remember? I'm very confused! I-I have many people...
Pranker:... They answer me! You one of the first people! So I can call, somebody else if you want.
Filipino guy: [coughing] No I remember already, so you're-you're doing what?
Filipino guy: Are you doing massage?
Pranker: DUH RIGHT! You know I-I-I my-my husband, he very up- VERY MEAN TO ME
Pranker:... Don't appreciate! You know very controlling. Say ''you cannot eat this!''!
Pranker:... ''You cannot do that! You cannot talk to him! You cannot go here!''
Pranker: ''You cannot go there!'' It's a- it's too much, you know?
Filipino guy: OH!
Pranker: So I-I
Filipino guy: What's your background are you Chinese?
Pranker: RIGHT! I am half Chi-
Filipino guy: Oh okay and-
Pranker: I'm 1/2 CHINESE! 1/2 VIETNAMESE!
Filipino guy: And you're doing this uh, are you doing this for what?
Filipino guy:... For for, how much or is this like free or what?
Pranker: Ah weh-ah weh-ah weh- what do you think here? Okay?
Pranker:... HOW MUCH? You think I am a-I am a prostitute or something?
Pranker:... I don't do that!
Filipino guy: Oh okay I'm uh, because I'm not so sure about the ads!
Filipino guy: You know because it's like uhm, okay so where are you located?
Pranker: I tell you! I-I-I-I-I cheat on my husband! Ok, I cheat on him because
Pranker:... He is the arsehole guy, you know? I don't like him!
Pranker:... He don't appreciate me! I do so much! For him all the time. You know?
Pranker:... You know- I tought you a nice guy! But you looking for the prostitute
Pranker:... eh.. It make me a little bit uncomfortable, you know?
Filipino guy: Oh no no no no no, I'm just only thinking, how- w-w-what
Filipino guy: How to come about! Because I don't know what-what you-
Filipino guy: How does it work! I don't know how this will work! Ah okay
Filipino guy: Are you the one in the picture here?
Pranker: Right, right. Of course!
Filipino guy: And uhm, okay maybe I can uh, come to your place, where are you located?
Pranker: I-I 'cause I tell you I-I because I tell you I-I my-my- I'm married.
Pranker:... You know, I have a husband! So I cannot, I have to see if he's
Pranker: Not gonna be here one day! Or something like that! We have to do
Pranker:... A little bit of planning, you know?
Filipino guy: Oh okay, because I'm new to this! I've never done this before
Filipino guy: I just only wanted to inquire more.
Pranker: Okay so...
Filipino guy: Sooo, maybe we can-we can meet in a uhh, not in my place!
Filipino guy:... Because you know I'm also... Have uhm... I'm married!
Filipino guy:... And I don't want them to know about this.
Pranker: Oh okay! You-you married too?
Filipino guy: Yeah!
Pranker: Oh my God! But-but you have to realise though, I am not some like
Pranker:... Slutty lady! I'm not a whore! I don't do, prostituting
Pranker:... I don't do this stuff! So I really want some-
Filipino guy: How old are you? How-how-how old are you? How old are you?
Pranker: I'm 20 time.
Filipino guy: And you're Chinese/Vietnamese?
Filipino guy: So you mean your husband is not really uhh, doing-
Filipino guy:... I mean you're not doing it with your husband? Or something like that?
Pranker: Deh, he-he no he-he do it for me! But he very, it's always on
Pranker:... His schedule! Right he have to be very forceful! Very you know
Pranker:... not very loving! He very mean to me! Very controlling. I don't enjoy you know!
Pranker:... I sit there like a-like a dead sardine. Right I sit there he
Pranker:... BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Filipino guy: Oh okay so you want, more like a... Okay! And 25 so...
Filipino guy:... I saw your ads here you-you-you're a very beautiful woman!
Filipino guy:... In your picture!
Pranker: Well thank you, very much! You know I-I-I-I a lot of people tell me that!
Pranker: You know but, everytime I with him he hold me so close, HE VERY CONTROLLING!
Pranker:... He very you know, he very... HOLD ME VERY CLOSE! To make sure
Pranker:... Nobody, I don't talk to anybody! All these things! It's-IT'S A TOO MUCH!
Pranker:.... You know? And I get very SICK OF HIM!
Filipino guy: Let's meet uh, for coffee and then we can go from there!
Filipino guy:... After that we can go to a certain place...
Pranker: Okay but-but okay...
Filipino guy: I MEAN BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO SEE ME FIRST! Probably, maybe you want to see me...
Filipino guy:... How I look too as well right?
Pranker: DUH YEAH! What can-can you explain to me? I are you a beautiful person?
Pranker:... Or do-do you, how old are you? And tell me a little bit about you
Filipino guy: [chuckles] well I'm married and gainfully employed and uhm...
Filipino guy:... I just only uh, you know what attracted me to your ad
Filipino guy: is your picture! Your had you're a very beautiful woman here!
Pranker: Well I-I thank you! I appreciate I-I try to-I try to cover my eye
Pranker:... In case somebody recognize me or something but [chuckles]
Filipino guy: Yeah, just that uh, so you're actually, in your ad it say that uhm
Filipino guy:... Uh, you do sensual massage? Ah, I mean I-
Filipino guy:... You're doing also- all the way? Like, in case, you know..
Filipino guy:... Something might come up?
Pranker: Duh yeah! But, if-if o-only if you interest!
Pranker:... You know if you don't want to do it we don't have to do it.
Filipino guy: Well I ca-I well- you know I might be aroused already also.
Filipino guy:... So we can do it if you like.
Pranker: Ok! Well I- Excellent! Okay what- a tha-that I-I like that!
Pranker:... You know is a-
Filipino guy: Let's probably meet uh, weekends? Saturday? You're what's-
Filipino guy:... Where are you close? So that eh- uhh I can go, maybe near your place!
Filipino guy:... So that you don't have to travel so far!
Pranker: O-o-o-one second! I'm sorry I think my husband came!
Pranker:... D-d-d-on't hang up! If he come I'll just tell him you my co-worker...
Pranker:... Or something, can you hold one minute?
Filipino guy: Yeah, yeah. Sure.
Pranker: Okay, one minute.
Husband: Buk? BUK-LAU? Are you here?
Pranker: Oh he-oh hello honey! How you doing today?
Husband: I'm good wha-wha- well di-did you cook the food already? Or-or what happened here?
Husband:... I'M HUNGRY! I WANT TO EAT!
Pranker: OH YEAH! I have the-the-the food over there! In-in-in the kitchen!
Pranker:... You know, just go there, eat it!
Husband: Well I-I-I-I saw that already! T-there's- NO FOOD THERE!
Husband:... I see some bread, some cheese! Eh-ehh, what am I supposed to eat?
Pranker: Just wait I-I make the food!! You know I working all day!
Husband: Who-who-who-who-who are you speaking with on-on-on-on-on the telephone?
Husband: I said, WHO ARE YOU SPEAKING WITH ON THE TELEPHONE?
Pranker: It is my CO-WORKER! You know!
Husband: OH REAL- CO-WORKER HUH? Ok let-let-LET ME SAY HI TO YOUR CO-WORKER.
Pranker: I- okay that-that's a no problem! You know?
Pranker: Uh hello?
Filipino guy: Hello?
Pranker: Yeah he uh, he wa- he-he my husband yeah! He want to say hi to you! WE WORK TOGETHER, one second!
Husband: Uh hello?
Filipino guy: Hello?
Husband: Uh yeah ho-how are you my friend?
Filipino guy: I'm good, how are you?
Husband: I AM GREAT! So like uhh, are you guys like- do-does she do good work with you?
Husband:... Are you like the BOSS MAN OR WHAT?
Filipino guy: Yeah she's uh, she working fine! Just only checking the schedules for that.
Husband: Oh okay, alright well uh, do you know- is this week gonna' be LIKE A LONG WEEK
Husband:... 'Cause th-the last week she came back a so late! You know oh-
Husband:... Of- everyday she come back like a 10:30 p.m., so eh- do you think maybe she can
Husband:... Have a shift-
Filipino guy: Depends-depends on the uh customer there's a lot, you know so, I DON'T KNOW.
Filipino guy: I don't do the schedules, maybe you should can ask her.
Husband: OH OKAY, okay well-well what is eh- DO YO-DO YOU THINK-
Husband:... Uh Buk? BUK-LAU! Are you working to- is she working tomorrow?
Husband:... Do you know?
Filipino guy: I'm not so sure, YEAH I THINK SO!
Husband: Oh okay alright, and-and-and what is your name?
Filipino guy: Robert!
Husband: OH ROBERT, OK ROBERT! It is very nice to meet you!
Husband:... I hope that one day! You know like uh, I-I don't meet many of her CO-
Husband:... Of her CO-WORKER! But I hope that one day... We can, uhh
Husband:... You know we can meet up together! And we can have a lunch.
Filipino guy: Yeah sure! Sure.
Husband: But yeah I-I don't know why! I never get to meet her CO-WORKER!
Husband:... I'm like a NICE FRIENDLY GUY! But she never uhh, she never want to
Husband:... Introduce me to anybody!
Filipino guy: Oh it's okay! We can meet maybe one time.
Husband: Okay alright, ho-hold on one second.
Pranker: I'M SORRY OKAY? I-I-I CAN'T DO ANYMORE! I TRY TO TALK TO HIM!
Pranker: To-to see me!
Husband: WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Pranker: Ehh, I WANT TO JUST HAVE SOMEBODY ELSE! TO BE MY FRIEND
Pranker:... I can't deal with you all the time! IT'S A TOO MUCH! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!
Pranker:... OK? I DON'T WANT YOU!
Husband: WHAT DO YOU SAY?
Filipino guy: Hello?
Husband: Hello mister! OK. YOU TRYING TO MAKE A SMART WITH ME? OR WHAT?
Husband:... YOU WANT TO MAKE A SEXY TIME WITH MY WIFE?
Filipino guy: Okay now uh I'm just checking the schedule, you know what
Husband: WHA-WHA- But tell-TELL ME THE TRUTH MAN! MAN TO MAN HERE!
Husband:... Like uhh, DO YOU WANT TO BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! FROM THE BACK?
Husband:... Or what?
Filipino guy: I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW! I'm not that one! Maybe, uhh
Filipino guy: I don't know anything about that.
Husband: But she-she come home from work! Uh you know like a LATE ALL THE TIME!
Husband:... I wonder, WHAT HAPPENED HERE, but now I do... THE MATHEMATICS!
Husband:... And I put, 2 and 2 TOGETHER!
Filipino guy: I don't know!
Husband: I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED HERE.
Filipino guy: I don't know!
Husband: I know what you're doing.
Filipino guy: I don't know.
Husband: OK LOOK. LOOK. Where do you live? We will have a FACE TO FACE CONVERSATION.
Filipino guy: You know what? I don't think this will work out so...
Husband: WHAT! DON'T! Don't be like a
Filipino guy: Uhh, you have to talk to your wife.
Husband: STUPID MAN OKAY? LOOK HERE. I want to know what we can do about
Husband:... This uhh, PROBLEM! WE HAVE IT NOW
Filipino guy: IT'S YOUR PROBLEM! NOT MY PROBLEM OK?
Husband: But what ye-
Filipino guy: I don't know anything about that!
Husband: You-you're trying to DO! THE BOOM! BOOM! BOOM IN THE BATHROOM!
Husband:... WITH MY WIFE.
Filipino guy: OH MY GOD. I have to end this one now, I don't know anything about that!
Filipino guy: So sorry about that.
Filipino guy: OK? Bye-bye.
Husband: Make like a stupid with me! YOU KNOW EXACTLY! WHAT HAPPENED HERE!