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Funny Drug Dealer Turf War Prank Call!

Mar 15, 2015 9.3M views 0 comments

Category: Prank Call
Format: Subtitled
Characters: Tyrone
Prank Victim: Drug dealer
Rage Level: Moderate

Drug dealer freaks out over insane prank call!

Best quotes: 

  • “You wanna meet at Little Caesar’s and talk about it over a hot ‘n ready pizza?”
  • “You crip walkin’ all over my godd*** toes”
  • “Nah I wanna run my mouth a little bit longer and then we’ll meet up”

Body of content:

I prank called a drug dealer as Tyrone and told him I want a percentage of his sales for 'selling on my turf'. He goes into complete panic mode when he starts realizing that Tyrone has a ton of information on him - all provided to me by the prank requester of course! Things really get heated when I make him believe that I’ll kidnap his girlfriend if he doesn’t pay up. 

When his protective instincts over his girlfriend kicked in, he was so determined to turn me into the police that he forgot he’d be implicating himself! That “ohh yeaahh” moment when he realizes a drug dealer probably shouldn’t go to the police over a turf war is priceless! Do you think this call scared him into quitting? Tell me in the comments below!

 

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Transcript

[Phone ringing]

Drug dealer: Hello?

Tyrone: Ay yo, Smiley, what's up, man? ['Smiley' is the nickname he uses when selling drugs]

Drug dealer: Who's this?

Tyrone: It's Tyrone, uh, I-, I-,

Drug dealer: Tyrone?

Tyrone: I don't think you know me right now, but, uh, you know, in, in, recent weeks

Tyrone: I've been keeping an eye on you and it seems, like uh, you been selling on MA TURF. You

Drug dealer: Oh yeah?

Tyrone: You, you, you be pushing some PRODUCT, yeahh. So, uh, you know I see you on Market Street

Tyrone: ['Market Street' is right beside his home], I see you and your girl [phone button sound] up at the

Tyrone: Little Caesars, [His GF works at Little Caesars]. You know, I, I, I wanna let you uhh

Drug dealer: Mhm?

Tyrone: Keep doing your THING, but I'm gonna need a little ALLOWANCE

Tyrone: So I wanted to talk to you about that-.

Drug dealer: Uhh, why don't you come to my house right now?

Tyrone: No, but-, le, le, let's talk NUMBERS. We'll meet up

Drug dealer: NO, LET'S NOT TALK NUMBERS, LET'S TALK FACE TO FACE

Tyrone: AY YO, LISTEN UP HERE HABIBI [He's Middle Eastern], I'M NOT PLAYING NO GAMES BOY, TELLING ME FACE TO FACE

Drug dealer: No I'm not even

Tyrone: I-, I-, I-, alright.

Drug dealer: I'm not playing games with you, who, who?

Tyrone: W-

Drug dealer: WHO ARE YOU?

Tyrone: Look-

Drug dealer: WHO ARE YOU ANYWAYS?

Tyrone: Alright, I CAN GET YOU IN A WHOLE WORLD OF TROUBLE "SMILEY"

Tyrone: DON'T FARK WITH ME. YOU TELLING ME "OH COME TO MY HOUSE"

Tyrone: TRYING TO THROW HANDS RIGHT NOW OR WHAT YOU WANNA DO?

Drug dealer: I wanna know who's talking to me. That's it.

Tyrone: Usually when I meet somebody up it's to KILL THEM. So like

Tyrone: I don't wanna meet up with you right now. I don't think that's necessary.

Drug dealer: Err

Tyrone: So uhh, you, you, you ready to NEGOTIATE a cut or like WHAT'S GOOD?

Drug dealer: Why don't we meet up first?

Tyrone: Alright, you wanna meet at Little Caesars

Drug dealer: Talk about it?

Tyrone: A, a, and talk about it over a HOT AND READY PIZZA?

Drug dealer: Hot and Ready Pizza? [He is currently pooping himself because I know all this info]

 [He is currently pooping himself because I know all this info]

Tyrone: YEAH

Drug dealer: Uhm, what's that supposed to mean?

Tyrone: I'M SAYING LIKE, DO YOU WANNA, W, W, if you wanna meet up SOMEWHERE, maybe somewhere

Tyrone: You'll feel COMFORTABLE, is, is, is your girlfriend's working place.

Tyrone: I was making a SUGGESTION

Drug dealer: Why you bringing my girlfriend, wh, why you, why you-, bringing my girlfriend into this?

Tyrone: Uhh, it's just a little FRIENDLY REMINDER MY DAWG is that. I know what's going on.

Drug dealer: HEY! HEY! EVEN, EVEN, EVEN IF I WANTED TO DO BUSINESS WITH YOU. YOU DON'T BRING

Drug dealer: MY GIRLFRIEND INTO IT.

Tyrone: Alright, IF YOU DON'T WANNA DO BUSINESS WITH ME, it's gonna cause SOME PROBLEMS

Drug dealer: Listen, I'm not  trying to get aggressive or nothing, alright? I'LL JUST FARKING STOP SELLING

Drug dealer: IF IT THAT WHAT HAS TO BE, alright? It's just that you're not gonna force me do nothing

Drug dealer: That I don't want to

Tyrone: But no, but thing is, I, I got, I got the evidence MY DAWG. We gonna need BACK PAYMENTS

Drug dealer: It's just-, don't threaten me.

Tyrone: DAWG! I'm, I'm, I told you man, it's just one of my cards you know what I’m saying?

Tyrone: Y, Y, you stepping on MY TOES, I don't, I wasn't stepping  ON YOUR TOES.

Drug dealer: I'm not stepping on, I don't, [Yelling] WHO ARE YOU?

Tyrone: MY TOES ARE SORE, MOTHERFARKA

Drug dealer: WHO ARE YOU?

Tyrone: MY TOES ARE MOTHERFARKING

Drug dealer: [Yelling] HOW AM I STEPPING ON YOUR TOES, IF I DON'T KNOW WHO ARE YOU?

Tyrone: You quit walking all over my GODMAN TOES WITH WHAT YOU DOING IN THAT NEIGHBOURHOOD, OKAY?

Tyrone: ON MARKET STREET, I KNOW WHA-, WHAT'S GOING ON DAWG. I WILL SEND TWO MOTHERFARKERS TO GO SNATCH

Tyrone: YOUR GIRL AT MOTHERFARKING LITTLE CAESARS BOY

Drug dealer: HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? GO FARK YOURSELF.

Tyrone: LISTEN, BITCH, WE GOT TO TALK ABOUT THIS

Drug dealer: HEY NO, YOU LISTEN, YOU LISTEN, HEY, I WAS GONNA

Tyrone: HEY, uhh

Drug dealer: I WAS GONNA TALK TO YOU, I WAS TALK TO YOU AND BE REASONABLE WITH YOU, BUT YOU'RE TRYING BRING MY

Drug dealer: GIRLFRIEND INTO IT AND BLACKMAIL ME AND THREATEN ME AND SHIT

Drug dealer: GO FARK YOURSELF

Tyrone: OKAY, I'M FARK YOUR

Drug dealer: I'LL FARKING HEY

Tyrone: I'M FARK YOUR BITCH

Drug dealer: HEY I'LL FARK, LISTEN TO ME, LISTEN TO ME, I'M GOING, I'M WALKING STRAIGHT TO THE FARKING

Drug dealer: POLICE DEPARTMENT RIGHT NOW

Tyrone: MAKE SURE YOU TELL THEM YOU'RE SELLING DRUGS TOO, RIGHT? MAKE SURE YOU LET THEM KNOW THAT LIKE

Tyrone: YOU BEEN PUSHING PRODUCT, BECAUSE I'M SURE THAT'S GONNA REALLY HELP YOUR CASE

Drug dealer: Oh, yeah, listen to me. How about you stop trying to blackmail me

Tyrone: HOW ABOUT

Drug dealer: And stop threatening me

Tyrone: JUST WORK WITH ME, I'M I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING TO NEGOTIATE MY DAWG, I DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU NUMBERS YET

Tyrone: AND YOU AIN'T-

Drug dealer: NO, NO, YOU'RE NOT IF THIS IS HEY, YOUR'RE NOT, YOU'RE NOT GONNA GO ANYWHERE, YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANYWHERE

Drug dealer: IF YOU'RE GONNA THREATEN ME AND TELL ME YOU'RE GONNA GO SNATCH MY BITCH, NO.

Tyrone: I want 30 PERCENT.

Drug dealer: THIRTY PERCENT OF WHAT?

Tyrone: Thirty percent of all REVENUES, I was gonna come at you with FORTY FIVE, but I'm trying to be nice to you.

Tyrone: Right? I'm trying to be nice to you if you keep raising that voice, it's going up to forty.

Tyrone: MAN I AIN'T TRYING FARKING MAKE CRAP MORE COMPLICATED THAN IT

Drug dealer: [HANG UP]

Pranker: [Laughing] Dude, this really farking funny reaction, I hope he answers, before like he gets in to some trouble]

 [Phone ringing]

Drug dealer: Hey.

Tyrone: Look man, I think we got off on the wrong foot, alright? So I'm trying like 

Drug dealer: GOT ON THE WRONG FOOT, RIGHT FOOT. Listen to me.

Tyrone: Yeah

Drug dealer: Threaten me, tell me you're gonna fark my bitch, if I don't give you percentage of what I sell BLAH BLAH BLAH

Drug dealer: This guy. Alright. HE HITS ME UP AND HE'S LIKE "LISTEN I KNOW YOU'RE SELLING, I KNOW YOUR LITTLE, LITTLE NAME

Drug dealer:... BLAH BLAH BLAH" HE'S LIKE " I KNOW YOUR GIRL WORKS AT LITTLE CAESARS, I'M GO FARK HER IF YOU DON'T GO GIVE ME

Drug dealer:... FARKING PERCENTAGE, I HAVE VIDEOS OF YOU, I HAVE PICTURES OF YOU, I KNOW YOU WERE UP IN TOLEDO"

Drug dealer:... ACTING LIKE HE KNOWS EVERYTHING, I GOT A PHONE CALL UPSTAIRS RECORDED ON HIM

Tyrone: Alright, t-, t-, that's fine, that's fine, I, I, I ain't worried about the recording

Tyrone: Phone call dawg, I got mad recordings man. I'm telling you DAWG, I can get you ass deported

Drug dealer: Okay, YOU THINK I CARE

Tyrone: In like FIFTEEN MINUTES DAWG

Tyrone: I can go, I

Drug dealer: YOU THINK I CARE

Tyrone: IN THE TIME-

Drug dealer: IF I GET DEPORTED, I GET DEPORTED, YOU'RE STAYING HERE DUDE, YOU'RE STAYING HERE

Drug dealer: I DON'T GIVE A FARK ABOUT... WHATEVER YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT

Tyrone: Do you not think

Drug dealer: YOU HAVE TO STAY HERE 

Tyrone: You think you

Drug dealer: IN THIS COUNTRY

Tyrone: Can't get locked up?

Drug dealer: I DON'T HAVE TO

Tyrone: You think you can't get locked up?

Drug dealer: HUH?

Tyrone: You think you can't get locked up here?

Drug dealer: Hey-, LET ME GET LOCKED UP, WHY, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN AFTER?

Tyrone: YOU GET YOUR ASS BUTTFARKED, that's what happens.

Drug dealer: Oh, yeah. I don't fark, I don't play like you 

Tyrone: No man, you-, I'm telling you, you-, you are going to get your ASS LOCKED UP

Tyrone: THEY'RE GOING TO SEE YOUR LITTLE BITCHASS

Drug dealer: [Yelling] YOU'RE GONNA, YOU'RE GONNA MEET ME OR YOU GONNA KEEP RUNNING YOUR MOUTH?

Tyrone: NO LET, I WANNA RUN MY MOUTH A LITTLE BIT LONGER, AND THEN WE'LL MEET UP. Alright?

Tyrone: SO LIKE I SAID, YOU CAN'T BE

Drug dealer: [Hang up]

Tyrone: STEPPING ON- SOMETHING

Pranker: [Laughing]

 [Phone ringing]

Drug dealer: Hello?

Tyrone: Hey yo HABIBI, I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING MAN, one last thing alright?

Drug dealer: Huh?

Tyrone: HABIBI, one last thing before you go, alright?

Drug dealer: Mhmm?

Pranker: This is just a joke [laughing]

Drug dealer: Oh yeah? Who are you?

Tyrone: Yeah, it's just, one of your boys set up a prank call, to fark with you and gave us all

Pranker: That information about you, uhh, I'm a voice actor

Drug dealer: Who is he?

Pranker: Huh?

Drug dealer: Who is he? Wait what-, no, seriously because I already called the cops

Pranker: Oh you did? Damn, that's too bad, what'd you tell them?

Drug dealer: DAMN IT! HEY

Pranker: Well, I mean if you a-

Drug dealer: Oh my god..

Pranker: If you actually called the cops, you might wanna call them real quick and tell them that somebody

Pranker: Played a prank on you

Pranker: [Laughing] You know I was just trying to teach Smiley a little lesson, I think his career of selling

Pranker: Drugs is officially over.


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