Category: Restaurant pranks, prank call
Characters: Rakesh, Tyrone
Prank Victim: McDonalds
Rage Level: Mellow
- “I come in there to get one CRISPITUS chicken sandwich”
- “I actually am still on the toilet right now, on standby right? Waiting for more crap to flow through me, right?”
- “I am trying to find the love of my life and you are doing blockc**king”
Body of content:
I did a McDonald’s prank call to a location in the UK as Rakesh to complain about their “crispitus” chicken sandwich giving him food poisoning. The Scottish employees turned out to be hilarious, and the female employee quickly won Rakesh’s heart. I tried to get her to take Rakesh up on a date but she was not having it!
One of the employees couldn’t help but burst out laughing at Rakesh’s crazy lines! He got an even bigger laugh out of Rakesh’s wing man, Tyrone, who tried to help Rakesh get his date. What other Scottish businesses would be perfect for a prank call? What was your favorite part of this interaction? Tell me in the comments below!
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Lady: Good evening, this is McDonalds, Kelly speaking
Pranker: Hello, I wanted to talk to somebody about my recent McDonalds experience.
Pranker: Yeah, so I come in there to getting one CRISPY CHICKEN SANDWICH but I-
Pranker: don't know what happened, I go home, all night, I'm sitting on the TOILET-
Pranker: BOOM, BOOM, I don't know, right? Feeling very sick.
Pranker: Yeah, so what can you do it?
Lady: And what was your order?
Pranker: I got the K-, K-Chicken club FRIED, right? I don't remember, it's chicken patty-
Pranker: deep fried but it taste not good, and then I go to bathroom, not good.
Lady: The chicken-, uh, the chicken, the way they cook, it's just basically getting reheated-
Lady: and-, and the oil
Pranker: Can you say it one more time in English, I could not understand?
Guy: Good evening, McDonald's, this is Kyle speaking, how can I help?
Pranker: Yeah hello, I talk to some lady who hang up on me very rude, right? I am very upset-
Pranker: What can you do about?
Guy: Sorry, what was the incident?
Pranker: Yeah, I got the food, but food patty was not fresh, very not good, and then I got food-
Pranker: poison, right? So I am, uh, upset about that.
Guy: You've got food poisoning?
Pranker: Right, I'm still very sick, I actually-, I'm still on the toilet, right now, on standby-
Pranker: right? Waiting for more crap to flow through me, right?
Guy: [Laughing] Sorry
Pranker: WHAT? Is something about that funny to you?
Guy: Sorry that was someone in the background
Pranker: NO-, NO-, NO-, DON'T LIE TO ME MOTHERFARKER, I heard it, it was very clear, right? It was-
Pranker: all in my ear, right? It was HO-, HO-, HO-, right? You're ho ho-ing, right? Like Santa Claus-
Pranker: trying to laugh at me or something?
Guy: Well, what I can do for you regarding this incident, is take your name and your number, and my-
Guy: business manager will phone you back on Monday.
Pranker: Yeah-, yeah-, so you want me to wait all the way until Monday? Come on man, what can you do-
Pranker: right now other than laugh at me, right?
Lady: What-, what-, what at this value want us to do about it?
Pranker: I-, I-, I want you to number one say sorry for laughing at my pain, and then maybe give me like-
Pranker: a small gift card shopping spree, right? For McDonalds.
Lady: A shopping spree for McDonalds?
Pranker: Yeah, right
Lady: Uh, as I-, as my colleague said, uh, if I take your name and number and I'll get my business manager-
Lady: to phone you back on Monday.
Pranker: Can you slow down, please? You're-, you're going zero to one hundred real quick, right? Too quick.
Pranker: Slow down pl-
Lady: I SAID I WILL TAKE YOUR NAME AND YOUR NUMBER-
Pranker: Okay, I like that slow, slow, good, good.
Lady: AND I WILL GET MY BUSINESS MANAGER-
Lady: TO CALL YOU ON MONDAY
Pranker: Okay, excellent, okay, great, but you see, I am actually, I am-, I am still sick right now, so I-
Pranker: would like some instant-, instant gratimu-, gratification and to help me please. GO, GO, right?
Lady: WELL, I think you should MAYBE go and see a doctor first of all.
Pranker: Yeah, no, but I can not, I am still stuck on toilet, can you come carry me please?
Lady: WHY-, why would I do that? Why would you even ask someone to do that?
Pranker: Because, I am-, I can not move LADY, I can not move, I am sitting here every time I get up, it gives-
Pranker: THE CRAPS
Lady: Well I suggest you phone a doctor and get a doctor out to see you, because it's not really normal, is it?
Pranker: Yeah, but I need some nutrition, right? I am still-, I haven't eaten in 12 hours, and I've been-
Pranker: crapping all day, so I want to get some french fries or something with my shopping spree.
Lady: So, you want-, you're saying you've got food poisoning from McDonald's, but yet you want to come eat McDonald's?
Pranker: Yeah, but you see-
Lady: No-, no.
Pranker: this-, just-, but you see-
Lady: Listen, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANYTHING-
Pranker: listen-, look-, look-, look-, calm down-
Lady: No-, no you listen to me-
Pranker: Look-, look-, look-
Lady: you listen to me.
Pranker: no-, no-, no-, you-, I talk you listen, right? I talk
Lady: No, you listen to me. You get a doctor out and-
Pranker: STOP IT! STOP IT!
Lady: see for yourself, because as-
Pranker: STOP IT!
Lady: as of this moment-
Pranker: Stop it.
Lady: you're getting nothing from me, I'm afraid, sorry-
Pranker: STOP IT! Look, I am telling you, okay? I tried one crispy sandwich but now I want to use shopping spree-
Pranker: to get french fry, right? Eh-, how-, you can't fark up french fries, unless you're very stupid-
Pranker: right? So, I feel like it's safe-
Lady: Eh-, excuse me, I'm not silly, if I get food poison from a place, that's a last I want to go and eat when-
Lady: I've sat on the toilet, and I was so-, unless you get a doctor out to you, and get yourself sorted, then-
Lady: you're getting nothing from me, I'm afraid, sorry.
Pranker: Okay, right, let me talk to the guy who laugh at me, maybe he will be more sympathetic now, right?
Lady: He's not here.
Pranker: No, but he's right next to you, come on.
Lady: Listen, just give me your name and your number-
Pranker: WHY DO YOU-
Lady: get my business manager phone you back.
Pranker: Just stop yelling at me, okay? I am not, I-, I am-, I am very soft spoken small Indian man, but you are-
Pranker: you are yelling at me like a big uh-, GROWLING, right? GROWLING, calm down.
Lady: Well, YOU ARE NOT UNDERSTANDING, you need to seek help from the DOCTOR, okay? I can't help you at this moment-
Lady: in time I will get my business manager to phone you back.
Lady: That's all I can do for you.
Pranker: Eh-, but look-, okay? Side note, let's pretend like I didn't tell you about my health issues, you sound like-
Pranker: a very, I-, you're making me very HOT and bothered, right? So I am wondering, can I take you out for like-
Pranker: a date or something? Maybe we can go to Kentucky Fried?
Pranker: But why not?
Lady: What? Why-, why would I?
Pranker: Yeah, can we just set up a date for next Friday? I'll be good by then, right? Tell me I'll be hundred percent-
Pranker: I think one week, uh, will be good. So, then I will take you out on the town, show you a good time, right? You-
Pranker: can teach me how you talk it. It will be great.
Lady: Uh, I'm busy next Friday, I'm afraid
Pranker: Oh, okay, how about Thursday?
Lady: Uh, I'm busy then as well.
Pranker: Oh okay, right? Can you blow me one kiss, so I can feel like little bit love and-, and compassion instead of hate?
Lady: I'm-, I'm going to hang up now, okay? Don't phone back.
Pranker: Okay just one small, right? Small smoochie smoochie, right? Hello?
Guy: Good evening, McDonald's, this is Kyle speaking.
Pranker: Hey, yo, what's up man? If-, if I wanted to make a-, uh-, a order for-, for some nuggets, could I do that over the-
Pranker: phone, or I got to come in there?
Guy: You have to come inside the store.
Pranker: Oh okay! I got you, well uh-, can I talk to that-, that-, that-, that cute little honey you got behind the counter real quick?
Guy: Sorry? [Laughing]
Pranker: I-, I-, I-, I said can I talk to that cute little honey you got behind the counter real quick? I just want to say hello.
Guy: You just want to say hello?
Pranker: Yeah-, yeah-, yeah, I-, uh-, unless I'm stepping on your toes homeboy? Is that your boo boo and you're-, and you all be-
Pranker: you all be frying-, the french fries, together and stuff with your hands interlocked, I don't want to fark with that, but you-
Pranker: know, if it's fair game, let me holla at it a little bit.
Guy: She told you to get lost.
Pranker: No, come on man, she-, she don't remember me like that. I saw h-, we made eye contact as I was leaving, she gave me the look.
Guy: The look?
Pranker: Yeah-, yeah-, because, you know, she wants some of that SHAM LAM DOOBILY.
Pranker: YEAH, your turn, go ahead.
Pranker: [Laughing] YE-, I like that crap dawg
Pranker: I like that crap. YEAH
Guy: [Laughs] AHH
Pranker: [Laughs] Come on dawg, you didn't even try that time. YE-
Guy: [Laughing] You didn't even try that time!
Pranker: Yeah-, yeah-, give me like a YEAH, go ahead.
Guy: Sorry, what?
Pranker: [Lip smack] Dawg, alright dawg, here talk to my boy-
Pranker: Hello, yeah, I am trying to have black man make wing man for me right now, but it is not working, can I just-
Pranker: talk to her, please? Thanks.
Guy: I've got to go.
Pranker: No-, no-, no-, no I-, I-, I think you have time, right now problem, right?
Guy: Can I speak to the other, please?
Pranker: Oh, the-, the black guy?
Pranker: Yeah-, yeah-, okay hold on.
Pranker: Hey yo, what's popping?
Pranker: What-, hey what's up man, what-, what's so funny dawg? You asked to talk to me-
Pranker: just-, just to laugh?
Pranker: Okay, now you're snoring. What-, what that supposed to mean? I'm boring for you now?
Pranker: Come on now dawg.
Guy: Sorry, what are you saying?
Pranker: Alright, hold on.
Pranker: Uh, hello, okay, can you stop it? I am trying to find the love of my life and you are-
Pranker: doing blockcocking right, stop it?
Guy: BLOCKCOCK-, it's c**k blocking not "blockcocking"
Pranker: Okay, sorry I am not-, I am still trying to be hip hop, right? I am trying to be cool guy-
Pranker: but, I am doing my best, okay? So yeah, can you stop blockcocking me please? I would-
Guy: SAY IT PROPERLY
Pranker: Blockcocking, right?
Guy: [Talking to coworkers]
Pranker: Hel-, hello?
Guy: [On speaker] Hi!
Pranker: Okay, oh-, great, I am on speaker telephone, okay, look, Kelly, I want to tell you that-
Pranker: you are the love of my life, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, okay?
Guy: I'm leaving now! Bye!
Pranker: Wha-, NO-, Kelly-, STOP IT! KELLY! I JUST WANT-, GIVE ME ONE CHANCE, RIGHT? THIRTY MINUTE-
Pranker: ONE DAY ON THE DATE I WILL MAKE THE BEST CHICKEN TIKA MASALA YOU TASTE IT! KELLY! I LOVE YOU KELLY! HELLO?
Pranker: [Laughing] [Speaking to audience] All right guys, guess I'm not going to get to talk to Kelly unfortunately but I tried [laughing]