Category: Prank calls
Prank Victim: Mom, son
Rage Level: Mellow
- “Mrs. Nipple?”
- “Have you ever expiermented or played with your anal cavity at all?”
- “Okay, uhm, and uh if you had to measure the layer of plaque that was on his teeth in centimeters, how many inches- how many centimeters would you say that was?”
Body of content:
In this dentist prank call I pretended to be from a dental association and called a kid who I was told needed extensive dental work done. Both him and his mom ended up on the line and I proceeded to ask the son a bunch of incredibly awkward questions and told them it was to ensure the son was healthy enough for treatment. They went along with the insane questions for a surprisingly long time!
Would you have been willing to answer the questions if you received this phone call? Why do you think they went along with the obviously fake questionnaire for so long? Let me know in the comments below!
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Pranker [speaking as Russell]: Hello may I please speak to Tom [censored] please?
Mom: Can I ask what this is about?
Pranker: This is Russell Johnson, I'm calling with the National association for dental work.
Pranker: It- it's in regards with- Ok.
Mom: Ok. I'm his mother. This is Mrs. Nickle.
Pranker: Mrs. Nipple?
Pranker: Ok. Uhm, well I'm just calling to get some primary information about what's going on here. Uhm, I understand he's gonna have some major dental work in the next couple of days.
Mom: I’m sorry, repeat that?
Pranker: We've been informed that your son's about to have some major dental work uhm, he's losing about apparently 90% of his teeth.
Pranker: Uhm, he is quite young is that correct?
Pranker: [stuttering] And this dental work's gonna occur?
Mom: Uh... Yeah, uh, n- [sigh] Who you from?
Pranker: This is Russell Johnson-
mom: Dental Works?
Pranker: Uhm, I need- I'm just trying to get- for safety purposes, we've been informed, because of his young age I just wanted to get some uh...
Pranker: ... background information about his previous health. Ah, just to make sure he's gonna be able to go through this procedure.
Mom: Ok, well uhm, we were going to check into uhm [censored] dental school.
Mom: I wanted to go there this week and uh...
Pranker: Wait, so you're gonna have the work done at a dental school?
Mom: We're considering it, yes. Uh...
Pranker: I'm assuming- Because it's a cheaper price, is that correct?
Mom: Ah, yes. Yes, we have no dental insurance.
Pranker: Okay, uhm, and uh if you had to measure the layer of plaque that was on his teeth in centimeters, how many inches- how many centimeters would you say that was?
Mom: Uh, that I have no idea. I...
Mom: I don't check them that closely at his age, I didn't feel the need to check.
Pranker: We just need to ask him some- a couple of questions just to make sure this is actually a safe procedure, uhm...
Pranker: Just to make sure, we can tell you how many teeth can be done at once and uh, how soon and what preliminary precautions you need to take.
Pranker: If you can get him on the line I'll wait. Thank you.
Mom: What's going on here?
Pranker: I just need to ask him a couple- a few questions uhm,just to make sure that his health is up to date, this is very basic questions like hey son, do you play sports?
Pranker: How many hours a day do you play sports, what kind of- just a basic food he eats so I can know how healthy his teeth are.
Pranker: Just to, you know, see what's possible and how many teeth we can do at the same time and how uh, how healthy he is at the time.
Pranker: What's safe for him to do in one sitting. Of course. it's inv-
Mom: Okay, h-hold on a minute.
Pranker: Thank you.
Mom: I do- I- [indistinctive speaking] pick up the phone upstairs.
Mom: And, they're asking questions. If there's anything I can- I'll butt in, I'm going to stay on the line and listen here.
Mom: You're underage, baby, he shouldn't be asking you anything.
Pranker: Hey, h- hello?
Pranker: Hey, I hear a lot of static uhm, it's very hard to hear you.
Mom: I'm on the phone, the other line, the other phone.
Pranker: Can you guys hung up one of the phones? So I can hear you guys better?
Mom: No, because I want to hear what questions you're asking my son.
Pranker: Okay. I mea-
Mom: So, we do it this way or you wait and call some other time and talk to my husband.
Pranker: Okay. Well son, uhm, we're gonna do some preliminary questions in regards to your uuh, dental health.
Pranker: Uhm, just some basic questions, let me pull up the file. How often do you exercise?
Son: I lift weights like every other night but that's it.
Pranker: Ok, uhm, and are you overweight?
Pranker: Okay, and what are your eating habits, like on a regular day, do you eat fried foods, greens?
Pranker: Uhm, what kind of food do you eat?
Son: Frozen stuff. That's pretty much all I eat.
Pranker: Frozen stuff, ok.
Son: Frozen dinners...
Pranker: Ok. I see here, uhm, let's see what else we have, ok.
Pranker: We're gonna get into the uh, post-secondary questions, this is in regards to the health of your teeth.
Pranker: Uhm, the first question is uhm, are you sexually active?
Pranker: Ok. Uhm...
Pranker: On average, uhm let me see, hold on. [typing]
Pranker: Ok, uhm, do you smoke?
Pranker: Do you take any drugs?
Pranker: In the past two years have you smoked uh, marijuana? Or any other type of smokable drug?
Pranker: Ok. On average ah, how many times do you masturbate per week?
Son: Ah, a few.
Pranker: Ok, a few... [typing]
Pranker: Ok, uhm, would that be like an every other day thing or? Once a day? Or twice a day?
Son: One... Random.
Pranker: At random?
Pranker: Ok, uhm... Let's see... [typing]
Pranker: Ok, uhm... [typing] Okaaay... [typing]
Pranker: And when you- this is in regards to the nutrients that are excreted from your body and uh how many, what nutrients are actually retained in your teeth and what not.
Pranker: So when you do actually, do have this masturbation sessions, uhm, do you uhm...
Pranker: Do you ejaculate?
Pranker: Uhm, if you have to measure in millilitres, how much... Uh...
Pranker: Sperm would you say is ejaculated from your system?
Son: I don't know.
Pranker: Do you- if you can throw a number out there?
Son: I really don't know.
Pranker: We- I'm just gonna put down a tablespoon, is that okay?
Pranker: Ok, and uhm...
Pranker: Ok, the way it works I'm just entering the questions down and it loads new questions based on your responses so every test is essentially customized. Uhm...
Pranker: Have you uhm...[typing] Well, essentially, the sperm has a lot of nutrients that are used in your teeth uhm...
Pranker: But when uhm, swallowed indirectly it actually is harmful to your teeth, so have you ever tasted the semen?
Pranker: Ok... [typing]
Pranker: And what kind of material do you- did you actually look at anything when- while you do this?
Pranker: You just do it?
Son: No... Not often.
Mom: What does it have to do with his teeth?
Pranker: Ma'am the que- ma'am I'm actually just reading off the questions off the computer here.
Pranker: Uhm... So, I-it's just basically that are the nutrients excreted from the seamen.
Pranker: ... that are actually-
Mom: That part I heard but the rest of it I- I don't feel it's pertinent.
Pranker: It's- it's in regards to the heartbeat acceleration actually studies have shown when actually viewing material...
Pranker: ... that uh... Increases the uh, length of a male genitalia.
Pranker: It actually increases the speed of the heartbeat which- if the teeth are not actually taken care of increases the deterioration so...
Pranker: That's the-
Mom: Alright. I'll give you a couple more questions I'm about ready to hang up.
Pranker: Well ma’am, I mean- Ok-
Mom: I don't know why you're calling this late at night.
Pranker: Ma'am well, it's just because we've been actually calling people all day, sometimes things take longer then possible, sometimes people wanna ask a couple of questions kind of like yourself...
Pranker: ... which I understand totally, which is why sometimes it takes longer then expected.
Pranker: Uhm, in the ah, in the past month and a hal- I ac- sorry, in the past two years and a half have you preformed oral sex on anyone?
Pranker: Ok. Uhm...
Pranker: The next question is cavities part 2. Ok. Uhm...
Pranker: Have you ever experimented or played with your anal cavity at all?
Mom: That's enough, Tom hang up. Right now.
Pranker: Hello? Hello?