Category: Prank calls
Characters: Rakesh, Abdo, Buk Lau
Prank Victim: TalkTalk customer
Rage Level: Hardcore
- “Listen you BURNT FARKING ZUCCHINI!”
- “I'm so done with you guys, take my money, take my house, take my car, take my soul, heck, even take my farking grandmother. DON'T FARKING CALL ME AGAIN.”
- “Take my broadband, and stick it up your STINKING MOTHERFARKING HAIRY ASS!”
- “I just did some research on my end I found supervising supervising supervisor.”
Body of content:
This guy has had enough of his internet provider, TalkTalk, who he says owes him MONTHS worth of refunds. I prank called him as employees from the internet company and gave him the runaround with getting his money back! He’s clearly been through a lot with this company because he was quick to get aggressive with the Ownage characters!
This call got crazy explosive and had some hilarious insults! Should I do more internet service prank calls? These companies seem to have some of the worst customer service! What businesses have driven you crazy with their bad service? Let me know in the comments below!
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[glass break sound]
Pranker [speaking to audience]: This guy has been getting insanely bad service from his Internet provider called TalkTalk-
Pranker: and he's pretty pissed about it. He's been raging at various customer service reps and is waiting for a call back from them-
Pranker: because he really wants to cancel his contract and get a refund for a few months of service.
Pranker: I figured it'd be a good idea to call him up with the squad and see if we could help.
Guy: Yeah, hello?
Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Yeah, hello? This is Panjit calling with TalkTalk customer support. I had a call back here-
Pranker: I wanted to figure out, you know, how we can go ahead and try to resolve some of your problems with the service?
Guy: I've had this problem for like- uhm- a year or so, all I want to do is basically, uhm, terminate this contract with you guys-
Guy: and also I want a refund as well for four months.
Pranker: I got you, okay. Just tell me this, man to man here, what are your web use practices, like, I'm just trying to get-
Pranker: to the bottom of why you're having computer crashing issues and things like that.
Guy: You deal with my computer stuff, okay? Not with my personal life.
Pranker: With all due respecting, maybe the pornography preference, things like that, maybe have caused some spyware or malw-
Guy: What the- why- why are you even employed, you can't talk to clients like this.
Pranker: No, no, no, but I- I said man to man, right? Like, I- I- I say that first, right?
Guy: Oh, so you're trying to make accusations? Like, no, I don't watch porn on this, no.
Pranker: What I'm trying to say is, sometimes these websites, they have malware on it.
Guy: Listen, CURRY MASALA, connect me to someone else I can speak to, I don't want to talk to you.
Pranker: OH my Gods, why do you have to- why do you call me curry masa- w- w- w- so insulting! You know? Right?
Guy: Listen to me, mate, your English is ATROCIOUS, you're making my ears bleed, I wanna talk to someone else.
Pranker: Okay, alright, alright, alright, okay, I will swallow my pride right now, and transfer you, h- but- d- g- please hold-
Pranker: I will get you to my supervising supervisor.
On hold: You are currently caller number: 32, waiting to speak with a representative [melody playing]
Guy: What the fark?
Pranker: Eh, hello. My name is Harneet, with TalkTalk-
Guy: Yeah, hello?
Pranker: customer support, how can I help it?
Guy: Hi, uhm- I just spoke to one of your colleagues regarding my refund and also regarding my, ehm, termination of the contract?
Pranker: Eh, yeah, okay, so, on the system note here, uh, we have- uh- s-
GUY: YOU ARE THE SAME GUY! You are the same guy, I spoke to a few minutes ago.
Pranker: Urgh, uh, sir, I don't know what you're talking about? My name is Harneet, I am level 2 supervisor, I'm trying to help it.
Guy: No, I'm no- I'm not- I'm not SICK mate. Did your mum drop you when you were young, or can you connect me to som- OH MY DAYS.
Guy: Connect me to someone else!
Pranker: actually, I don't know, I think maybe you talk to my twin Rakesh, but- we are different people.
Guy: Can you help me with my problem then?
Pranker: Well, yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah. So, yeah, what I see here on the system note is that you have a contract commitment-
Pranker: I see a not here that you want to make cancel, right? So, we can do one month refunding and waiving the termination.
Guy: Listen you BURNT FARKING ZUCCHINI, I said four months not FARKING ONE MONTH, okay?! I AIN'T GOT NO TIME for this BULLCRAP, okay?
Guy: I want you to give me FOUR FARKING MONTHS of refunds, okay?
Pranker: My twin, eh, Rakesh seem to get upset and lowered you from two months to one month, I want to go ahead and bump you back-
Pranker: as of one time courtesy to two months refundings, [inhales] and then also cancel the- the waiving fee, okay? I know you're upset-
Pranker: but I'm trying to meet you halfway, right? So, what do you think about that?
Guy: Do you know what? At the end of this conversation you're gonna farking wish you stuck to fourth gear like the farking sweatshop bitch. [click]
Pranker: Hello? [laughing] [speaking to audience] Burnt Zucchini [laughing]
Pranker: Yeah, hello sir, I know, may I t-
Guy: OH MY DAYS-
Guy: this is you- I told you not to talk to me again.
Pranker: look, look-
Guy: FOR FARKS SAKE mate!? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?
Pranker: okay, look, I have somebody else, I just did some research on my end I found supervising supervising supervisor, not me, do-
Pranker: do- don't worry, I will give you it somebody else. I know we're having issues communicating, I want to transfer it-
Guy: Listen, I'D RATHER VOTE FOR DONALD TRUMP THAN FARKING TALK TO YOU FOR ANOTHER SECOND, that's how much I don't want to talk to you.
Pranker: Honestly I- I really enjoyed our time together, so I'm re- it really hurt to hear that.
Guy: Listen, my friend, don't connect me to yourself again, okay? You said that thing previously as well, don't connect me to you.
Guy: Your twin brother, you, or any of you.
Pranker: Okay, alright, give me one second, I will transfer it. [speaking in the background]: Oh man, I don't know why I keep dealing-
Pranker: with these a******s. [phone ringing]
Pranker [speaking as Abdo]: Uh, yeah, hello, this is Abdo with TalkTalk-
Guy: Yeah, hello?
Pranker: how- how can I help it?
Guy: Uh, so I spoke one of your colleagues, other colleagues of yours, in like- December? And he- he messed the hi- whole thing up.
Pranker: Yeah, yeah.
Guy: So, now- I want to- I want to terminate my contract. And, all I want is-
Guy: four months refund, and I want you to terminate my contract as well, please.
Pranker: Okay, yeah, yeah. Look, I-
Guy: I'm really pissed off.
Pranker: wha- wha- where are you from? By the way-
Guy: Yeah, go on-
Pranker: What is your background?
Guy: I'm originally from Afghanistan.
Pranker: I know, now is, you know, they're- celebrating Ramadan and things like this [inhales], I- I know you're upset-
Pranker: maybe like, your blood sugar is low, do you want to maybe go take like a- small snack?
Guy: Ah- [laughing] what!? [laughing] Yeah, yeah, that's why- that's why you understand, you probably [laughing]
Pranker: Yeah, no, I get- I get cranky too sometimes, you know, sometimes I'm sitting here-
Guy: I ca- [laughing]
Pranker: but, no, no, for real, you know, just between you and I, sometimes I- I act like a little, like-
Pranker: I act like a little bitch too when I get cranky, you know?
Guy: Yeah, you understand.
Pranker: Yeah, yeah.
Guy: Yeah, I'm fasting, so that's why I'm really short tempered.
Pranker: Since you are like my fasting brother, you know what I want to do for you here is I can give you, I'll go ahead-
Pranker: let's go ahead and give you a refund and we'll go ahead and- you know, just because, you're my friend-
Pranker: and complimentary we'll ref- we'll refund 2 months for you.
Guy: Yeah? Do you know what? Take my broadband, and stick it up your STINKING MOTHERFARKING HAIRY ASS and-
Guy: don't talk to me again MOTHERFARKER.
Pranker: Uh, hu! My brother!? [laughing] [speaking to audience]: I knew that was gonna farking get him, I knew it.
Guy: Yeah, hello?
Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Uh, yeah, hello, I'm looking for Qays!
Guy: Oh my God!
Pranker: Ah, no-
Pranker: a- look- s- sir! Look, I- I have on the note here that you are upset, you w- you wanted a call back-
Pranker: we wanted to get somebody else to you, I'm actually the supervising, supervising, supervising, supervising, supervisor?
Pranker: My other SUPERVISING SUPERVISING SUPERVISOR, he tell me that you who was gonna give you the refunding for a little bit-
Pranker: so I wanted to go ahead and square it away with you if you are willing. So I want to basically give you the money-
Pranker: back, so I- I want to just-
Guy: Alright depends how much- how much are you gonna give me back?
Guy: Are you being possessed or something? Why are you making those noises?
Pranker: uh no, sorry I j- I just- I'm trying to figure out all the notes, you know?
Pranker: We can give you the refunding for the uh- two months.
Guy: Listen, I'm so done with you guys, take my money, take my house, take my car, take my soul, heck, even take my farking grandmother-
Guy: DON'T FARKING CALL ME AGAIN.
Pranker: No, okay, but- but hold on one minute!
Guy: [hang up]
Pranker: Look? Hello? [laughing] [speaking to audience]: God damn it! I didn't want him to hang up. Fark. [phone ringing]
Pranker [speaking as Russell]: Yeah, hey, my name is Russell, I'm calling with uh TalkTalk customer service, I'm actually with HR-
Guy: Oh my- no- no- no- no- no- I don't want anything-
Pranker: si, si, si-
Guy: to do with you guys anymore-
Pranker: sir, sir, sir-
Guy: thank you very much.
Pranker: if you just hear me out for one second!
Pranker: Sir, I have good news uhm- if you just wouldn't mind give me 30 seconds of your time, and then I'll w- won't give you any more callbacks.
Guy: I'd rather marry Satan than farking talk to you-
Pranker: Bu!- s- sir-
Guy:: I'd rather farking vote for Donald Trump-
Guy: than talk to you guys.
Pranker: sir- pl- sir-
Guy: I don't wanna talk to you guys anymore!
Pranker: sir, I'm wi- I'm with HR, I'm not- you're not gonna be dealing with any of our call center employees, I'm very very sorry-
Pranker: for what you had to deal with, I actually- was monitoring the last call, and then looked at your records and noticed, how many times you-
Pranker: called in, [inhales], I wanna go ahead and give you a full refund, for five months of service, and waive the cancellation fee, if you're okay with that.
Guy: Are you being serious, or are you- taking the piss?
Pranker: No- no sir, I'm not- I'm not taking the piss, I'm- I'm- I'm being serious.
Guy: Okay, alright, cool. Thanks.
Pranker: So, if you can go ahead and just take down this confirmation code, uh, just in case you have any issues with seeing the refund-
Pranker: you should see it processed in your account in 3-5 business days.
Guy: I've got so many of these reference numbers, I've got a whole collection of them, yeah, go on!
Pranker: D- don't worry, this- this is gonna be like the- the cream of the crop reference number, that's actually gonna be associated to your-
Pranker: five months refund, so you wanna hold on to this one, uhm-
Pranker: you've got a pen and paper handy?
Pranker: Okay, that's gonna be P as in Pendulum.
Pranker: R as in Romeo.
Pranker: Uh, A as in Asbestos.
Pranker: Then N as in nugget.
Pranker: And then K as in- this entire thing has just been a prank set up by your friend David.
Guy: Ah FOR FARK SAKE mate! You've got me WOUND UP MAN.
Guy: What is wrong with you, wait till I-
Pranker: And I a-
Guy: farking get the man. [laughing]
Guy: Oh my- you've gotta be- you got me so worked up man.
Pranker: Toward the end man-
Guy: Calling me, you don't understand, so many, probably starting all the whole department of TalkTalk out there, all of them, and nobody comes to a resolution [indistinctive speaking]
Pranker: Oh my God.