Category: Prank calls
Characters: Abdo, Russell
Prank Victim: Gymnast
Rage Level: Moderate
- “You were the only one who had access, and on top of that combined with the crush you have on Coach Jim…”
- “I know the effect my voice can have on some females, and, you know- occasionally, they tend to be attracted to it.”
- “If you don't want to apologize while you are suspended, you can do like a jumping jack or something, you know, try to stay fit. RIGHT?”
Body of content:
This gymnast I prank called was wrongly accused of stealing! She was suspended from her gymnastics center when her coach had papers go missing, and he assumed she was the culprit. I was told by her brother that a prank about these stealing accusations would make her furious!!
I called pretending to be from the gymnastics center and asked if she was ready to apologize for her thieving ways! She insisted she wasn’t the one stealing, and put Abdo and Russell in their place. Which of your family members would you like to pull a prank call on? Let me know in the comments below!
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[film rolls] [phone ringing]
Pranker [speaking as Russell]: Uh, hello- may I speak with Mariam, please?
Lady: Uhm, I'm Mariam.
Pranker: Yeah, hi, my name is Christopher [censored], I'm calling with the [censored] Gymnastics Center, how are you doing today ma'am?
Lady: I'm doing fine, how are you?
Pranker: I'm doing well, thanks, you know I- I was just actually just following up regarding the- uh- incident-
Pranker: with coach Jim and uh, you know- as you know I'm sure it's not something we really accept here-
Pranker: and what's happened is, he requested that we reached out for an apology and I was just wondering-
Pranker: if that's something you're willing to do?
Lady: Apology for what?
Pranker: F- for the incident-
Lady: I didn't steal anything.
Pranker: Mariam- you know there's at- at this point really it would just be best to own up to it and kind of just you know-
Pranker: try to put it aside and- and- move on from this.
Lady: I would own up to it, if I did it- but I didn't.
Pranker: But he- he seems pretty certain that you stole the papers.
Lady: Well, he's a jerk.
Pranker: Look, [sigh], ma'am, uh- I'm- come on now, let's- let's keep this professional, a simple apology will really go a-
Pranker: long way in help- you know- fix this issue.
Lady: I'm not apologizing for something I didn't do.
Pranker: I got you- well- would you mind just giving me a brief recap from your perspective, of- of what happened and- and how you feel-
Pranker: you were accused etc.
Lady: Yeah, okay- so I was just training and stuff- and then all of a sudden the- uh- the coach just comes and accuses me for-
Lady: something I did not do, because he had some papers missing and he goes- like- Mariam is the only one who-
Lady: has access to the gy- to the gym- storage and stuff, so-
Pranker: Uh huh.
Pranker: Okay, w- w- with all due respect, I mean just based on his logic, it does seem pretty obvious that it must've been you-
Pranker: but I understand, if you don't wanna, you know- own up to it at this point but- a- a simple apology will go a long way-
Pranker: so, is that something, you're willing to do?
Lady: I can't apologize for something that I did not do! If I did something, I would own up to it- but I didn't do anything.
Pranker: Ma- [sighs]
Lady: It's not fair, you know?
Pranker: [sighs] I don't wanna play games here- and- if you could just simply apol-
Lady: I'm not playing games either- This is not the first time he has been accusing me for the stuff that I did not do.
Pranker: Okay, well- w- w- what has he accused you off? What else?
Lady: He told my brother I was flirting with him- what the heck-
Lady: he's a married guy and I'm- I'm a kid, I'm like 16 years old.
Lady: Why would I- why on Earth would I flirt with him like- I have no reason to flirt with him.
Pranker: I don't- why would you steal the papers from him? You know like- you don't have an-
Pranker: answer for that either.
Lady: I did not steal the papers! With all due respect, if I did steal the- the papers- I would admit it-
Lady: but I did not do anything.
Lady: I'm not the type of girl who lies and- steal papers from coaches and stuff, I don't do that.
Pranker: I got you- w- would you mind at least just- I- I understand, you're upset-
Pranker: but would you mind just repeating the- the prompt then we could just, you know, try to squash this.
Lady: Repeat what exactly?
Pranker: Okay- so basically, you know, if you could, just go ahead and repeat: "Coach Jim, I sincerely apologize-
Pranker: for stealing those papers from you, it was a terrible thing to do-
Lady: OH MY GOD.
Pranker: and an insult to both your family and mine. We hold ourselves to a higher standard here, in the Middle-East-
Pranker: especially and once again, I apologize sir." I thi- I believe that's- [switching papers sound], yeah that's-
Pranker: tha- that's the apology we have.
Lady: It's not fair to be accused for something you haven't done.
Pranker: I understand Mariam, and if you didn't do it, that would-
Lady: If you understand-
Pranker: definitely be the case-
Lady: then why- why are you- are not believing me?
Pranker: No- just because I know you stole the papers, you know- I'm trying to be understanding.
Lady: I DID NOT STEAL THE PAPERS! I'm not the only one in the gym!
Pranker: Yeah, but you were the only one who had access, and on top of that combined with the crush you have-
Pranker: on Coach Jim, it just- you put 2 and 2 together.
Lady: I DON'T- oh my GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, what crush? What crush? Like- I just told you, I've been accused-
Pranker: Well, [sighs], I know how these games work, you know, with females and like- people, superiors-
Pranker: and all these things, you know I- I understand how these things work, and- and- [inhales]-
Pranker: you know we're just try-
Lady: I don't think you understand how these things work-
Lady: I- I don't think you do, would you like it s- uh- would you like if someone accusing you for the things you didn't do?
Pranker: Well, that's why I- I don't put myself in those situations to let that even happen, you know like- I wouldn't steal-
Pranker: the papers if it was me.
Lady: OH MY GOD, I was training while he was looking for those crap papers that I don't even know- what- what kind of papers-
Lady: I don't know what papers were there, okay? I don't know! I don't know anything- I did not steal the papers. I have no right-
Lady: to touch even his stuff- I didn't even go to his office.
Pranker: [inhales] Okay-
Lady: I went there to get- to get my- my training crap and I was going to train and all of a sudden, he just comes out angry and stuff-
Lady: and he goes like- "you stole my papers", and I was like- what papers? And I made him search everything I had in my bag-
Lady: no papers, but he's still certain that I did steal the papers. I did not steal any papers!
Pranker: What- w- listen, I understand you're- you know, you're- you're still a young girl, but I just need you to be a grown-up-
Pranker: right now and, put on your big girl pants.
Lady: I am wearing my big girl pants. Thank you very much, why- why- why would you think that I did it? How did you know that I did it?
Pranker: Because- I mean just- you- you gotta put two and two together, you know like, you were the only who had access-
Lady: Just because of how I'm- I'm- I'm talking to you?
Pranker: Listen, no, no, no.
Lady: Thi- that's- that's why?
Pranker: Because of how you're talking to me- you were the only one who had access- the crush you have on coach Jim, like when you add-
Pranker: all these factors together, it's- it's- it's simple logic.
Lady: For the one hundredth time, I had- I had nothing to do with Jim, okay? I had nothing to do with him, I did not like him!
Lady: He was just my coach!
Pranker: I see- okay-
Lady: Why would I crush on an older man? He's married- for god's sake.
Pranker: yeah, you know- I agree with you.
Lady: Are you married? Are you married?
Pranker: I am single actually-
Lady: Okay, well- if you're married-
Pranker: Please m- ma'am, please don't-
Lady: I don't think-
Pranker: flirt with me too, I- that's unacceptable, please- I don't wanna do this-
Lady: Uh, excuse me?
Pranker: I'm- you just asked me if, I was single or taken or what not- you know I- I-
Lady: Yeah, just- to- this- know if- you know how it feels.
Pranker: this is getting ridiculous, okay? Just please- there's no need for us.
Lady: Yes, it is getting ridiculous, accusing me of something that I didn't do FOR GOD'S SAKE-
Lady: OH MY GOD SERIOUSLY.
Pranker: Ma- Mariam, listen, I'm a lot older than you and this is just not gonna work out.
Lady: What do you mean suspended?
Pranker: No, I mean- you know- just between us like- you're- you know, I just wanna make sure-
Pranker: we're squashing this now before it goes any further, you know- I'm an older gentleman-
Lady: Between us? W- w- w- what do you mean by 'us'?
Pranker: you know-
Lady: there's no us.
Pranker: Yeah, no, you know, you were just trying to flirt with me-
Lady: OH MY GOD
Pranker: just a second ago.
Lady: I WASN'T flirting with you- I just asked you a simple question!
Pranker: Well ma- [sighs] ma'am once again-
Lady: OH MY GOD.
Pranker: I have- Mariam, I have a Masters in Psychology.
Lady: Are you- are you- are you related to Jim? Because you both accuse me of something I don't know?
Pranker: No ma'am, we have no relation whatsoever, you know I- once again, I have a masters in Psychology-
Pranker: and I know the effect my voice can have.
Lady: You have a masters in Psychology? I see-
Pranker: I know-
Lady: I see, and since when is-
Pranker: I know the effect-
Lady: asking a que- a question is flirting? Since when?
Pranker: I'm just saying- I know the effect my voice can have on some females, and, you know- occasionally, they-
Lady: OH MY GOD.
Pranker: tend to be attracted to it.
Lady: Well, I'm not, I'm sorry.
Pranker: Okay, well- you know- I h- I hope that's the case because a second ago, you were asking me if I was taken-
Pranker: I don't know, if you wanted to go out on a date but uh, you know, we just can't do that and it's not gonna affect-
Pranker: lessen the suspension any further.
Lady: OH MY GOD. Yeah, I think- yeah, maybe I did ask you, maybe, yeah- hm-
Lady: I just asked you if you were single, I didn't even ask you, if, if you would want to be with me.
Pranker: Well, answer that que-
Lady: because you're accusing me-
Pranker: answer me this Mariam, answer me this.
Lady: you're accusing me- okay- and people kept saying that I have a crush on Jim and I don't have a crush on him, why would I crush on a married man? Why?
Pranker: Yeah, but- but I don't understand why you'd even ask me what my relationship status was, unless you were interested? So what was the reason?
Lady: HOW THE HECK am I interested in you if I haven't even seen you?
Pranker: I know- but you just said- why did you ask me if I was- if I was single or married?
Lady: Because I thought you were married, so that I don- maybe someone accused you of someone liking you or something?
Pranker: Exactly, I rest my case ma'am, come on now ma'am, let's just stop beating around the bush here, can you please just apologize so we can move on?
Lady: Oh my God, no I won't apologize, I'm sorry.
Pranker: I see, so, you know-
Lady: Because I didn't do anything.
Pranker: Will you at least apologize to me for tr- for trying to flirt with me?
Lady: I wasn't even flirting with you dude seriously.
Pranker: I- I know, but it jus- it feels like a little bit of sexual harassment and I'm a little bit offended.
Lady: Sexual- WHAT? Oh my God.
Pranker: Mariam- [sighs]
Lady: This- this is a joke-
Pranker: this is unacceptable Mariam.
Lady: I swear to God, this is unacceptable, right, yeah.
Pranker: Yeah, I know I jus- I- I feel very-
Lady: Me being suspended for something I didn't do is unexpected, I mean- I- whatever that word crap is.
Pranker: I got you, well you know, I still do feel a little bit violated with the sexual harassment from earlier-
Pranker: let me just go ahead and- and pass over-
Lady: OH my God.
Pranker: wel- th- M- Ma- Mariam, look, I know- I just- it's inappropriate, I- I worry that this'll go further-
Pranker: and, you know I- I don't want to lead you on, let me just go ahead and pass you to Abdo briefly-
Pranker: so he can speak with you.
Pranker [speaking as Abdo]: Uh, hello?
Pranker: Uh, yes, hello, h- how are you, uh, Mariam, how are you doing?
Lady: I'm good.
Pranker: Okay, excellent- you know I just- I listen here to the conversation and try to talk to uh- Cristopher-
Pranker: uh, so yeah- if you can just make apologizing, it would really help us a lot.
Lady: Why would I apologize for something I did not do? I- we've literally repeated that a 100 times.
Pranker: I know but- Habibi, what kind of trouble are you in right now? Like, what did you get?
Lady: Don't- don't call me Habibi, don't call me Habibi, I thought maybe it's a sexually harassment or something?
Pranker: What- no, no, no, I mean it like my friend- you know like, oh, I try to be friendly with you.
Lady: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay-
Pranker: Ha- [sighs] do- do I make you uncomfortable if I refer to you as Habibi. I talk to all the- you know-
Pranker: the student like that.
Lady: Well, don't talk to me like that.
Pranker: Okay, can I call you Habibi? Or is that- is still not okay?
Lady: Do I- do I sound like a boy to you?
Pranker: You sound like a very effeminate, no problem, right, but like- I just want to make you comfortable-
Pranker: but also talk like a normal, like I don't- I want to be myself.
Lady: Well, I'm not comfortable, I'm sorry.
Pranker: [tongue click] I see, okay- I- I- I understand that you have little bit of crush on the employee-
Pranker: here, you know- Christopher Jim but-
Lady: OH MY GOD.
Pranker: I just want to make sure we don't cross that boundary, together, okay, like- I cannot, I'm a married guy, you know I-
Pranker: have- I have three wives.
Lady: DON'T HAVE A CRUSH, oh three wives?
Pranker: Yes, I have more than enough to like- to go around, you know I- I- [inhales].
Lady: So are you gonna accuse me of- having a crush on you as well?
Pranker: No, what I'm telling is that- I- I- I can't deal with more women in my life so like, please don't hopefully-
Pranker: you know like, just relax.
Lady: I wasn't even trying dude seriously.
Pranker: Just, okay- what- what do you propose we do then to fix this problem, if you cannot make apologizing.
Pranker: What do you want to do?
Lady: Check with the other girls! Why me?
Pranker: You know, because you've been here for so long.
Lady: Just because my cousin-
Pranker: and you had the access.
Lady: Works here? Just because my cousin works here? I don't know, is that like a problem-
Pranker: [tongue click]
Lady: to go and chat with him? I- I don't think so.
Pranker: No, no, no, it's not a problem, but like- [sighs] [sighs], you're being very-
Pranker: difficult, you know, I, if you could just apo-
Lady: No, I'm not being difficult y- you're being difficult! Because you- you're accusing me of something I did-
Lady: not do, I would admit to someone if I did something but I did not do anything!
Lady: I'm not the type of girl who steals papers, if I w- if I am- I would've steal papers before-
Lady: Why not? Why when- Jim started to work here.
Pranker: Do you- do you s- do you steal hearts instead? Is that why you are trying to, uh- flirting with the Jim, or what?
Lady: Oh my God. Are you kidding me right now?
Pranker: [sighs] Look, why do you have to lie? Why can't you just tell the truth?
Lady: W- why would I lie? Tell me.
Pranker: I DON'T KNOW, but like- you know we have like the evidence here, like it all leads to one place and you're- you're-
Pranker: beating ar-
Lady: Evidence, yeah.
Pranker: you're bushing around the beating, uh- beating around the bushing, uh sorry, whatever.
Lady: Mm, okay, whatever, like I said, I won't apologize for something that I did not do, and I do not- DO NOT have a crush on Jim-
Lady: or Christopher or whatever his name is.
Pranker: Okay- alright, well Habibi look, one last thing, I have to te-
Lady: DON'T CALL ME Habibi.
Pranker: [sighs] W- w- why are you so like tense, relax.
Lady: Pft, oh my God. I'M TENSE BECAUSE I'M SUSPENDED FOR SOMETHING I DID NOT DO!
Pranker: Yeah, I know but- don't worry while you- if you don't want to apologize while you are suspended, you can do like a-
Pranker: jumping jack or something, you know, try to stay fit. RIGHT?
Lady: Oh my God, I train everyday at home, don't worry about me.
Pranker: You know, I just wish you wouldn't have stole it, we wouldn't have this issue, but yeah.
Lady: OH MY GOD, are you serious, right now? I did not steal any papers, am I talking gibberish?
Pranker: No, but- you know like I- if somebody was innocent, they wouldn't raise their voice like this you know it's like-
Pranker: I have- I have-
Lady: Because you're accusing me of something I did not do.
Pranker: yeah, I just ask- uh, you know Christopher, who has the- the masters in Psychology, he tells me what he is sensing is-
Pranker: a- eh- BULLCRAP.
Pranker: Yeah, I- I'm sorry, he whisper- he whisper-
Lady: Well this is BULLCRAP! Let me tell you.
Pranker: Okay, you know I- like I said, one thing Habibi, one la- uh oh- sorry-
Lady: don't- oh my God.
Pranker: Oh- [sighs] look- one last thing, uh, your- your brother [speaking as Russell]: set up a little prank on you [giggles]
Pranker: Your brother Ahmed set up a prank on you, this is all a joke.
Lady: Oh my God.
Pranker [speaking to audience as Abdo]: You know, she could have avoided that whole thing if she just didn't steal the papers.
Pranker [speaking to audience as Russell]: Uh, Abdo, she didn't actually steal the papers, that was the whole joke behind the prank.
Pranker [speaking to audience as Abdo]: Come on man you couldn't tell that was a bullcrap.
Pranker [speaking to audience as Russell]: Uhm, all right, Habibi.