Category: Craigslist and Backpage pranks, prank call
Prank Victim: Random man
Rage Level: Feel-good
- “You have to care very nice GOOD GOOD GOOD you can NOT diiiiiiing ardiss skillie hahmilay scurrdy ahhh… You know, goat PULLING. NOT GOOD.”
- “But uh skillie hahmahlee uhhh scumlee uh luhh skillie lah? TEET! Right?”
- “Maybe if you coming to the farm area I can show you, you know, hardiss kuhlimleeyaaah instruction tutorial right? Pulling the teet, JACK. Tit. Right?”
- “You don’t like to make goat mad, NOT GOOD, NOT GOOD GOOOD. OOoOOooOoohh”
Body of content:
I found an ad posted by a guy looking to buy some fresh goat milk, and decided to prank call him as Rakesh, a completely weird Indian goat owner! I messed with him a bit while questioning his knowledge of milking goats, and he was incredibly patient and nice about it. In the end, I think he was still too weirded out by Rakesh’s antics to consider buying any milk from him!
This turned out the be a funny, lighthearted prank with a cool guy! Hopefully he got a laugh out of the strange conversation in the end. What crazy Indian prank call should Rakesh pull next? Tell me your thoughts in the comments below!
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Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Hello my friend how you're doing?
Guy: Hello, I'm doing pretty good, I can hear you better now.
Pranker: Aww, me too my friend before telephone not good.
Pranker: But now the telephone good. Okay I want to tell you I saw your advertisement on..
Pranker: ... Craiglist right? DO you make a post?
Guy: Uh, yes, uh... Yes I do. That uh...
Guy: ... Uh, Ford XL extended cab?
Pranker: No I am... Uh about the goat milk right?
Guy: You're calling about which car?
Pranker: Th-the goat milk, you have a goat?
Guy: Oh, a goat!
Guy: No, uh... I was uh... Trying t- find some goat milk.
Pranker: I am-
Pranker: Ye- yes sir I have a goat milk I HAVE MANY more
Guy: Oh, you do? Okay w- good deal! Yeah.
Pranker: Alright, can-
Pranker: Do you have experience with the goat milking, right?
Guy: Uhm, no, I- I've milked a goat, I mean I milked cows when I was really young uhm...
Guy: ... and uhm, a boy soo I haven't milked a goat, I don't guess it much difference in a...
Guy: Uhm... You know... Milking a goat-
Pranker: NO! But my friend it is a lot different you know?
Pranker: It is very different species you have to care very nice, good, GOOD, GOOD...
Pranker: You can not s***w the, ahh, you know, goat pulling... Not good.
Guy: Oh, okay well, I-
Pranker: Okay but I tell you- but can you explain to me...
Pranker: ...How if you were to have a goat in front of you right now, how... you milk?
Pranker: Can you tell me? So I can know if you are th-
Guy: Huuuh... Well I would just try to milk it like a cow, I don't really know, uh...
Guy: Uh... Yeah-
Pranker: But uh skillie hahmahalee uhhh, scumlee uhh luhh, skillie luhh?
Pranker: TEET, right?
Guy: I'm sorry, what?
Pranker: Uhm, I'm telling you, you know you have to get the goat and you have to pull up skillie...
Pranker: ... THE TEET right? Can you pull the TEET?
Pranker: Do you know how to pull the TEET?
Guy: No, no sir I don't.
Pranker: Okay... Maybe if you coming to the farm area I can show you, you know...
Pranker: ...Hardis Kuhlimleyaaaah intruction tutorial right, pulling the TEET JACK.
Pranker: TEET. Right?
Guy: Okay are y- Where you located?
Pranker: I'm in the HUNTINGSVILLE right? Like you right?
Guy: Oh well that's good uhh...
Pranker: Uh- k- but-ing skillie umleeyuh, but-ing skillie umleeyuh... TEET PULLING ball sack right?
Guy: Uh- I'm sorry, would you repeat that?
Pranker: I am wondering if you- How much money you're going to pay for the...
Pranker: ... Hardiss Kimleeyuh pulling of the TEET milk ball sack right?
Guy: Well, I didn't know uh...
Guy: What is the going price for a gallon of- of milk GOAT MILK. I-
Guy: I don't r- I don't know- woo- w-
Pranker: One gallon for you my friend, you pull the TEET yourself...
Pranker: ...I give you gallon for maybeeee...
Pranker: I don't know let me think. Ah...
Pranker: Three dollar maybe. Can we do that?
Guy: Three d- three dollars a gallon if I milk the goat?
Pranker: But-ing kuhlimleeyaaah buhliss killee three- three fifty nine, plus tax, you know?
Guy: 3.59$ plus tax?
Pranker: Yes my friend.
Pranker: Okay, but do you know you must do the right caressing right?
Pranker: You must please the co- the goat right.
Pranker: If you milk the TEET you have to rub- you have to do other things too to make the goat happy right?
Guy: Yeah, yeah... I wouldn't want to upset it.
Pranker: The you don- m- y- My friend, you don't like to make goat mad. Not good, not good good.
Pranker: The get a-
Guy: Yeah- Yeah. Yeah...
Pranker: Say it- say it with me right?
Guy: Yeah. Huh right. I wouldn't want to make him upset. I-
Pranker: Ca- Can- can you say it with me my friend? Oooohhh...
Guy: Yeah. Aaaawwww... Okay?
Pranker: [chuckles] That is right!
Guy: Okay, uh-
Pranker: I like that my friend!
Guy: I- I-
Guy: I would be interested, you know... Probably, I don't know...
Guy: ...four or five gallons a month or something like that ah- Prob-
Guy: I don't know how much really I would drink but... I have a problem with a...
Guy: Regular milk, it bothers me and uhm...
Pranker: Aw, does it make-
Pranker: Does it make you-
Guy: I like- Yeah it uh...
Guy: ... I've got allergies I guess and it kind of bothers me and I can hardly drink it.
Pranker: But, it making the- it make you POOP-CHUTE the diarrhea right?
Guy: Well, uh... No, it causes mucus in my nose. Uh, I've-
Guy: I've got allergies and uh...
Guy: What I need is something that's not processed through...
Guy: You know the re- THE RE-G- goat milk uh that...
GUy: You buy at Walmart, uh...
Guy: It can- It kind of bothers me too but...
Guy: I like some FRESH goat milk. Fresh goat milk, right?
Pranker: Ooohhh... The fresh one, right? Ooohhh...
Guy: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Uhm...
Pranker: Alright, uh-
Pranker: Do you know how to doing I wanting you to tell you, you know...
Pranker: ...once you get the goat and you pull the TEET right, you have to massage the TEET very nice, very slow.
Guy: Oh, okay.
Pranker: But you cannot pull- you cannot pull too hard right?
Pranker: You're going to... How you say in your country?
Pranker: "FARK UP" the other- the other, right?
Pranker: I so you-you t-
Pranker: You need to- you need to pulling on it right, very nice slow...
Pranker: And then you must rub r- make rubbing of the uh... What do you say, ball sack right?
Pranker: D- do- do-
Guy: You just-
Guy: You just really have to show me, eh...
Pranker: But I don't- but my friend, you know you have to having experience some time you know?
Pranker: I read your advertisement, you tell me " I know how to milk the goat"
Pranker: I do the milking right, I milk the goat, I pull the TEET.
Pranker: I am looking how you pull the TEET, but now you tell me you don't know how to pull the TEET.
Pranker: What am I do right?
Pranker: Okay, if I have to teach you my friend, I have to charge you maybe 5$.
Guy: Well... Uh, you're little high on that. I'm-I'm just going to wait.
Pranker: Noo! My friend, I am not high I am SOBER right now.
Guy: No, oh no, I'm talking about uh... On the price. I-I-
Guy: I probably c-
Guy: I could probably find it a little cheap-
Guy: I probably could find it a little cheaper that that.
Pranker: Ooohh! But my friend nobody has good goat like me.
Pranker: My goat? I sleep with him at night you know? I pet him...
Pranker: ... I take care of my goat, he make a very good milk for me. Right?
Pranker: Okay. Can you tell me- uh okay. So you know what you wanting to do it?
Pranker: Or you want to think about it and I call you back later?
Pranker: Yeah, uh...
Guy: You would just give me a call back later.
Guy: Le-Let me think about it okay?
Pranker: Okay my friend, can you say one more time with me?
Pranker: Ooohhh... I like it when you do-
Guy: Awww, yeah. Okay.
Pranker: Okay, alright. You sound like you- Okay, that-
Pranker: That one kind of creepy you know my friend? Oh hoh!
Pranker: Okay. Alright. I talk to you later.
Guy: Alright, thank you.
Pranker: Ok, I love you my friend.
Guy: Uh, you too, goodbye.
Pranker: Ah- WHAT? MY FRIEND?
Guy: I see- Oh, oh you- You too! Okay!
Pranker: "Me too" what? You have to say with me my friend.
Guy: Ah- ah- well love you too, yeah...
Pranker: ALRIGHT. OOOHHH...
Pranker: Thank you my friend.
Guy: Awww-oooh- yeah.
Guy: Alright. Thank you.
Pranker: Okay. Alright.
Guy: Okay, goodbye.
Pranker [speaking to audience]: Holly crap. [laughing]