Butterfly Tattoo Prank Call - Ownage Pranks

Best quotes: 

• “Would I be able to get like a tattoo that says "I GO HARD” on my SHAM LAM DOOBILY?”
• “Would I be able to get like a tattoo that says "I GO HARD” on my SHAM LAM DOOBILY?”
• “Damn dawg, you almost said something funny but then you realized: ‘DAMN I GOT NOTHING!’”

Body of content:

When I called this tattoo shop the first time, they flat out refused to do a penis tattoo on Buk Lau. I decided to call them again, this time as Tyrone, to ask if they’d be willing to do a tattoo on a woman’s private parts or if they avoid that area regardless of the person’s sex. Surprisingly, they were more than happy to do the woman’s tattoo, so I pressed again for them to do the penis tattoo.

They were just as put off with Tyrone as they had been with Buk Lau and got HEATED when I wouldn’t drop the topic. Why were these guys so adamantly against Tyrone and Buk’s tattoos but willing to do it for a woman? Did they have a good reason or were they just being shady? Let me know what you think of this call in the comments below!

 

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Transcript

[popping up sound] [phone ringing]

Guy: [censored]

Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Uh yeah, m-, my girlfriend and I wanted to come in there and get some tattoos-

Pranker: and I was wondering if we could get some more information about that.

Guy: Sure. What can we help you with?

Pranker: Uh yeah, I kind of wanted to get something on my bicep or shoulder area and she wanted to do something-

Pranker: like a butterfly on-, on her nether region could do ya'll do that?

Guy: Wh-, when you say that like on the nether regions, where, where exactly uhm, do you mean?

Pranker: Uh well-

Guy: There's different areas that we can get to right?

Pranker: well, r-, right on the vagina more or less.

Guy: A butterfly like-so like a wing on each side?

Pranker: Yeah, like a win-, li-, like a wing on each side that you gonna be penetrating like the inner butterfly-

Pranker: suppose-, supposed to be looking like.

Guy: I understand, can you hold on a second?

Pranker: Alright, go ahead.

Guy: Uh yeah, yeah, I mean we could probably do something like that for you, but again, we would need you to come into the shop.

Pranker: Okay, alright, so uh-, i-, if she was able to do that one would I be able to get like a tattoo that says:

Pranker: "I GO HARD.”

Guy: Uh, prob-, probably that was like when you say on your bicep right?

Pranker: Well yeah, I mean I don't really know how-, i-, it could be probably pretty big, I just don't know if I'm gonna have to-

Pranker: if-, if I do it down there, I don't know if I'm gonna have to be like ERECT or limp during that, do you need?

Guy: Oh, you mean there uhm, that-, that we won't do on a man.

Pranker: Wait, you, so, you would do it on a girl, but not a guy?

Guy: Usually no, we don't do that.

Pranker: Alright, I'll-, I'll-, I'll pay ex-

Guy: Usually guys gotta be, has to be erect, right? Nobody here would be willing to do that.

Pranker: but-

Guy: But are you welcome to come in we'll talk to you guys both and uh-

Pranker: I mean b-, b-, b-, we all gotta realize, you know what I'm saying like, it's gonna be NO HOMO, I ain't gonna-

Pranker: come in there trying to like hit on nobody, I just wanted to get like a-

Guy: no we understand that, but also the-, the tattooers here don't feel like touching a guy's d**k.

Pranker: I mean-, I mean, they can put some motherfarking surgical gloves on or something if they need to.

Guy: Well, we wear surgical gloves regardless, we wear gloves all the time.

Pranker: Alright, y’all can double-bag it, I mean wha-, I don't understand like it's gon-

Guy: Listen sir, if you would like to come by and chat about it absolutely, uhm, but nobody here is comfortable-

Guy: with doing that, uhm, if other than that you're welcome to come by.

Pranker: no, but I-, but I heard-

Guy: Okay my friend?

Pranker: good thing about y’all tha-, that's the thing, you know what I'm saying?

Guy: Yeah, so come on by and we'll have a chat with you absolutely, but uh, we're happy to tattoo you just not in that area.

Pranker: Alright, so, what-, how much wha-, wha-, how much of a extra fee could I pay ya'll to-, to-

Guy: We're not gonna be doing that, so you're welcome to come by the shop, and we'll talk about other tattoos for you, okay my friend?

Pranker: I said-, I said no homo man, come on now.

Guy: Listen-, listen my friend, that's not what this is about.

Pranker: Let me ask somebody else in there.

Guy: NO, NO, we're not gonna do that-

Pranker: Help me!

Guy: you have yourself a good day, okay my friend?

Pranker: Come on man, don't-, don't-

Guy: Alright, bye, bye. [hang up]

Pranker: Hello?

[phone ringing]

Guy: [censored]

Pranker: Hey yo, what's popping man, I think we got disconnected a second ago?

Guy: Uh no, no, we didn't get disc-, disconnected sir, I hung up, okay?

Pranker: YOU HUNG?! [stammer] I-, I didn't think you would do that to me, because that's pretty disrespectful, f-, for like a honest business, you know what I'm saying?

Guy: No, no, you're again I said, you're welcome to come down, but there's nothing left for us to talk about over the phone.

Pranker: Alright so-

Guy: This is the way, listen bud, this is the way we do our business, you're welcome to come in-

Pranker: alright dawg-

Guy: and have a conversation, okay?

Pranker: DAWG, DAWG, RELAX, alright, ta-, take a breath-

Guy: No.

Pranker: alright, go ahead take a couple breaths.

Guy: What can I help you with right now?

Pranker: Running low on oxygen or something, because I don't know why you so MOTHERFARKING HEATED DAYUM?

Guy: Ok, what can I help you with right now my friend? What can I help you with?

Pranker: I wanna know, when would be the good day to come in a-, and get a tattoo done?

Guy: You can come by anytime you'd like I can't tell you when we can do the tattoo, until we see you in person, and talk to you about it.

Pranker: Alright, well would it be-

Guy: Okay?

Pranker: would it be better if I popped a Viagra beforehand, because I don't really get hard around men, so I don't know if it's-

Guy: Listen bud, we're not gonna be doing that like I told you.

Pranker: Come on DAWG! DAWG, you can't be-

Guy: I don't know if you need to be told a hundred times 5 times a thousand, we're not gonna be doing that, okay?

Pranker: I mean, usually it takes-, usually it takes-

Guy: I said it's alright if, it's OUR right to do-, say no my friend you don't-, we're not gonna be do it okay?

Pranker: but, you'd do it on a girl.

Guy: It's nothing personal to you bud, nothing personal.

Pranker: IT IS PERSONAL DAWG, I'm gonna-

Guy: No it isn’t.

Pranker: timeout! DAWG, y-, you said you'd do it to my BOO BERTHA, if she came in and wanted to get a-, get-, get a butterfly-

Pranker: on her VAGINA, but y’all won't do it to me, STOP BEING A BITCH DAYUM, I-, I only talk-

Guy: Uh buddy, don't say that to me, have a good day. [hang up]

Pranker: Being a-, hello? [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy2: [censored]

Pranker: Hey yo, what's up man, it's you again? I was trying to call back in like a minute hoping to get somebody else.

Guy2: I was right here, when the guy was talking with you, yeah you were just asking the same questions over and over again-

Guy: and frustrating people, if you wanna TALK, come on down and we'll talk with you personally, okay?

Pranker: Oh-

Guy2: Okay?

Pranker: alright, and what's the other guys name?

Guy2: Come on down and we'll talk to you, alright?

Pranker: That-, that wasn't the answer to my question, I mean are you STUPID, too?

Pranker: I just wanna know wha-, wha-, wha-, what was his name is, huh-, hello? [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy: [censored]

Pranker: Hey yo, what's up man?

Guy: Hey, how's it going? Are you the retarded guy that keeps-, that keeps calling over and over again?

Pranker: Uh no, I'm actu-

Guy: COME ON DOWN.

Pranker: hey, hey, yo-

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker: [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy: [censored]

Pranker: Hey yo, what's up man, our phone call got-

Guy: HEY HOW'S IT GOING? YOU ALREADY CALLED AND WE DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU'RE REALLY RUDE! GOODBYE!

Pranker: Hello? [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy: [censored]

Pranker: Oh hey! It's the A*****E who keeps hanging up on me, what's popping?

Guy: Yeah, check this out [hang up]

Pranker: What's popp-, [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy: [censored]

Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Duh, hello? Can I talk to-

Guy: I'm-

Pranker: Mac please?

Guy: UH, may I ask who's calling?

Pranker: BUK LAU.

Guy: Uh, what do you need?

Pranker: Uh, I talk to him about the scheduling for my uh tattoo, can I talk to him, please?

Guy: Uh, what tattoo is that?

Pranker: It's the Christmas tree!

Guy: Uh, I think you called already, yeah? Where do you want this Christmas tree?

Pranker: I want to do like the Christmas tree appointment right? He tell me to come in next week or something.

Guy: Oh yeah, you got a great accent, that's fantastic.

Pranker: Excuse me?!

Guy: You actually called before, we remembered your voice.

Pranker: OH YEAH, I-, I know-

Guy: Yeah?

Pranker: I believe we got off on the wrong foot-

Guy: Well if-, if you'd like to come in, we'll see you here, anytime you're ready, we'll be waiting for you, okay?

Pranker: can I-, can I talk-

Guy: Thank you, take care.

Pranker: can I talk to him, please? DON'T DO IT! Hello? [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy: [censored]

Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Oh man, it's you again? Hey yo, when you get off work man?

Guy: We're here till 6 o'clock.

Pranker: Okay, when are you going on your lunch break where I will call and then somebody else will happen to pick up the phone?

Guy: [laughs] No one else is gonna pick up the phone man, so I'm gonna make sure-

Pranker: Are you-, are you the designa-

Guy: make sure that everyone knows about you, don't worry.

Pranker: are you the designated phone PICKER UPPER?!

Guy: [laughs] Are you the-, you know, I'm not even gonna bother man [laughs].

Pranker: Damn dawg, you almost said something funny but then you realized: "DAMN I GOT NOTHING", hello? [laughing].

[phone ringing]

Guy: [censored]

Pranker [speaking as Billy]: Hello?

Guy: Hello?

Pranker: Yes sir, do ya'll do PENIS tattoos by any chance?

Guy: Yup.

Pranker: Okay, great! An-, and what-, what's the base price for that?

Guy: Our prices start at sixty and it goes from there.

Pranker: Okay, and, by any chance, do I need to kind of come in there prepared to have like a uh, a STIFFY, or-, or wha-, what's the deal?

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker: Hello? [laughing]