Some grudges are held stronger than others. Did someone piss you off last week at work? Does your neighbor turn on their sprinklers exactly when you take an innocent jog by their lawn? Or do you just have some boiling, maddening dislike for that guy who keeps sliding into your girlfriend’s DM’s? For whatever reason and however complicated you keep trying to hold this hunger for vengeance - we want you to know that your feelings are valid. Because of state laws and just, you know, morality and civilization in general - you shouldn’t be inflicting harm on another person. You could get in jail for doing so, and you might even regret doing so once the craving for revenge passes. Don’t worry; there are still ways to let this anger off the steam, and we will help you get it! But first, you have to be mindful of several things to consider when thinking about getting your sweet, sweet revenge! Remember, when you fail to plan - you plan to FAIL! So make sure to plan carefully before diving into anything yet.
Things to consider when planning about getting revenge:
1. Risk assessment
First of all, you need to be strategic in planning your revenge. The most critical thing in doing so is to assess the risks. We understand how fast you just want to get this over with. But without proper risk assessment, your revenge could be a flop - or worse, could just backfire on you even more. So sit down, take a pen and paper, and list down all the possible outcomes of your plan. You can do so by making a diagram or whatever makes you think clearly. Just make sure to WRITE. IT. DOWN. You should look at the possible outcomes from all unbiased perspectives as much as possible. Ask yourself these following questions as a guide:
Will I harm another person along the way? If yes, how can I avoid it?
Will I be crossing some lawful offenses? If yes, how can I make it legal? Can I even afford a lawyer to save my butt?
Are all my steps just proper and necessary for my goal? What are unnecessary things I could omit to simplify my revenge?
How do I keep all these things anonymous and not leave paper trails?
You can never be too careful when thinking about things like this, so make sure you know what is coming to you before doing something sketchy.
You need to be utterly realistic when it comes to planning your revenge. You can’t pull off your perfect revenge fantasy of you not letting them have access to your very exclusive yacht party when you don’t even have a yacht to have a party on! It’s just a waste of time and an awful lot of wishful thinking. Stick to what you have and what you are willing to give up. If you must, make a proper budget plan, or you can just make do with whatever materials you already have. Just make sure not to leave any form of the paper trail if you are going to use your things.
There is no other perfect timing for revenge than an act of revenge served cold! We understand how you want to see them suffer NOW, but trust us; you can reap more benefits from your revenge once you let your plan age like a fine wine. Chances of suspicion towards you may even become less when you don’t do the act as quickly as they wronged you. So be patient and just let your anger brew because you can get away with it easier if you just wait a while.
4. Maintaining anonymity
Unless you enjoy a little battle too much and want to turn it into a war - you want to keep pointed fingers away from you as much as possible. We reiterated the importance of not leaving paper trails in the earlier considerations because maintaining anonymity will help with the efficiency of your plan and will save you from possible problems in the future. Maintaining anonymity is the same as being mindful of your actions. Does anyone else know you are doing this? If yes, how many? Are you using burner emails or untraceable devices in doing this? How overt are you purchasing the materials? Ask yourself enough these things, and make sure that you DON’T. LEAVE. PAPER TRAILS. NO. MATTER. WHAT.
Now that you know the basics of planning revenge, you might be looking for ideas to inspire you. Don’t worry, because we listed down five anonymous revenge prank ideas that will make you want to do that evil laughter right after!
Best Anonymous Revenge Ideas:
1. Rotten fish for their rotten soul.
Put a big, stinky dead fish inside your victim’s car, locker, closet - or just anywhere you have access to, and they won’t see it immediately. It is up to you to leave a hateful note using the fish’s blood. If you want to get darker, you can open the fish in half and let its gut come out beautifully morbid for more scent-sation! When putting it, make sure to be covert with your actions not to draw attention. Wear clothes that aren’t too loud in color and easily show your features. Just in case a bystander notices!
2. Red Jammed Cars.
If you don’t have access to all those places in number one, you can go somewhere they are parked and slather some strawberry jam (or any red jam) on their car! This is perfect if their car is white or light-colored to show the contrast of beautiful colors!
3. Prank Call Request.
If you want something reeeeally anonymous, you can try this prank call request by Ownage Pranks. No other site knows anonymity and prank calls like Ownage Pranks do, making it the best! You can request a prank call as wild as the video above, and they will never rat you out for doing so!
4. Hate Subscription.
Do you know anything that grinds their gears hard? Send them a monthly (or even a weekly subscription) of that! For example, if they hate dogs, sign them up for a magazine subscription about canine care. Target any of their insecurity and send something that will exactly hit that vulnerable spot. They are likely to call the company that delivers these things, so make sure they won’t give out any information leading to your identity!
5. Start a meme of them.
If you have a knack for humor and a few editing skills, you might want to make a meme of them in their ugliest and most humiliating look. Ensure they wouldn’t enjoy the attention (assuming they are a narcissist) and just drown in embarrassment when they see it online. Make sure to use burner accounts and turn on your VPN to avoid having the evidence traced back to you!
And these are the five ideas we listed for you. We wish you luck in your revenge and remember not to make eye contact with anyone along the way!
Read Next: 16 of the Best Revenge Pranks Online!