Category: Prank calls
Characters: John, Tyrone
Prank Victim: Computer user
Rage Level: Hardcore
- “Sir I need you to stop being a little bitch and pay for your license!”
- “IF YOU STOLE THE LICENCE sometimes you got to pay the cost!”
- “Okay and this is the same a**hole that installed the licence, correct?”
Body of content:
I used John the nerd to prank call a guy who recently had his PC used by a friend and told him that he has an illegal version of Windows installed now! He was shocked to hear that I was from Microsoft and that he was being hit with a pricey fine. This guy was adamant that his friend needed to be held responsible - would you have said the same? Let me know in the comments below!
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Pranker [speaking as John McCain]: Uh, hello?
Guy: Hey, how's it going?
Pranker: Hi there! May I please speak with uh, Walter [censored], please?
Guy: This is Walter [censored]
Pranker: Okay excellent, my name's John I'm calling with MICROSOFT here at division of genuine licence authentication. How you doing today sir?
Guy: Hey, how's it going?
Pranker: I'm great thanks. Uhm... On our end it seems that you seem to be running an unauthorized pirated version of Windows!
Guy: I have no idea how that's on my computer to be completely honest with you, but somebody uh...
Guy: ... one of my friends was farking with my computer the other day trying to print crap out for her Bar Mitzvah for her son!
Guy: And I wound up with like all this kind of weird 2008 crap!
Pranker: I see...
Guy: Uhm so I'm not shocked!
Pranker: [stuttering] This is a serious issue! Unfortunately you are liable for the software running your machine! So...
Pranker: Would you prefer to kind of get this squared away with a 200$ fine or how would you like to go ahead and- and pursue this?
Guy: Uhm... I-I really feel that this is a scam. And I would really want you to come here.
Pranker: Ex- Sir, I- I'm in awkward position okay? I'm trying to resolve this for you but...
Guy: Dude I need you to be here!
Pranker: IF YOU STOLE THE LICENCE sometimes you got to pay the cost!
Guy: No! Dude you- you really not getting it! THIS IS 2014, in fact this is a good phone call!
Guy: Because I saw all that crap that as downloaded yesterday on my computer!
Guy: And that a**hole won't use my computer again! And that's a simple fact!
Pranker: Okay and this is the same a**hole that installed the licence, correct?
Guy: Which a**hole who installed what licence?!
Pranker: Yeah- you just said you're not gonna let that a**hole use the computer again!
Pranker: So I'm just trying to make sure- was that the a**hole who stole the licence?
Guy: You go find that a**hole! I'll give you her address!
Pranker: Okay! Can you go ahead and give me her contact information sir?
Guy: Uh no! I'M NOT GONNA HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT NOW BECAUSE I THINK YOU PISSED ME THE THE FARK OFF!
Pranker: Okay you just said that- you'd give me her address!
Pranker: YOU'RE A THIEF AND A LIAR!
Guy: ALONG WITH THAT JENNIFER LAWERENCE- I'M A LIAR?!
Guy: GET THE FARK OUT OF HERE BRO!
Pranker: Ah man, I'm really sorry about that!
Guy: OH, OH, OH, OH, yeah what-
Guy: [stuttering] I told you, I did not do it! I don't give a fark where this thing came from!
Guy:I don't have no farking Windows 8!
Pranker: Sir I need you to stop being a little bitch and pay foe your license!
Guy: STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH AND PAY FOR MY LICENSE?!
Guy: I HAVE NO IDEA! I don't know- yeah yeah yeah give me the supervisor a**wipe!
Guy: I'm about to call Samantha on right now!
Pranker: Let me talk to that guy next to you and I'll explain the situation-
Guy: LET ME TALK TO THE GUY NEXT TO YOU, HERE YOU GO...
Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Uh, hello?
Pranker: Uh yeah what's popping man? This is Tyrone with Microsoft. I'm trying to figure out what's going on right now!
Pranker: But your boy's installing illegal license you know what I'm saying?
Guy2: Yeah but he didn't, that's the problem. Like he said, I was here yesterday and there was someone else using his computer and he did delete that crap off of there like he said he did.
Guy2: I'm not even bulls****ing you.
Pranker: Uh, you gotta understand, if somebody does something incriminating on your computer you are still responsible because you- you authorized access to that computer! Right?
Pranker: It's coming from your- it's coming from your internet protocol in Layman's terms that's an I.P. Right?
Pranker: I don't want to get too advanced with you-
Guy2: No, no, no, no, I- I know computers so...
Pranker: Yeah, yeah so like you know we- we saw his internet protocol right? We hit up that MD5# and we see what's popping.
Guy2: Right and what was on there?
Pranker: Illegal Windows... Windows 8. Illegal installation, with a stolen passcode.
Guy2: Yeah see I, I mean, trust me I've known this guy for 20 years and I'm telling you I- God's honest truth there, he didn't farking do it.
Pranker: I understand sir-
Guy2: There's no farking way!
Guy2: You know what I'm saying? There's just no way.
Pranker: Alright, le-let me talk to him! Just tell him I convinced you!
Pranker [speaking as John]: I explained to your friend what's going on here and he agrees that you should just pay the license fee!
Guy: Oh, oh, oh you said I should pay the license fee?
Guy: Oh I'm not paying crap!
Pranker: Sir- sir, c-cut- work with me here!
Guy: Sir, sir! Don't- don't - don't- no I'm working with you! A**wipe!
Pranker: I'll charge yo- SIR! COME ON!