Category: Prank call
Characters: Rakesh, Buk Lau, Tyrone
Prank Victim: Paranormal investigator
Rage Level: Mellow
- “WHAT DO YOU WANTING FROM ME?! WHAT DO YOU WANTING?! HIPPITY HOPPITUS!”
- “I hear the people walking, I hear the people knocking, I hear the people FARKING”
- “The ghost he try to tickle his boo sack!”
- “I think maybe you having paranormal there too”
Body of content:
In this hilarious ghost prank call, I contacted a 'professional' ghost hunting team as Rakesh, Buk Lau, and Tyrone about some strange noises going on at home! As Rakesh, I told the guy that I was convinced my house was full of spirits because of unexplained train noises, talking, and knocking. The guy was ready to come investigate these ghosts, but he had to convince Rakesh’s wife Buk Lau first!
As Buk Lau I pretended to be Rakesh’s skeptical and burnt out wife, who was totally over all of this ghost nonsense. Suddenly, our “black ghost” Tyrone jumped on the line and started talking to the investigator! He flouted the fact that he’s been on TV before and would know that spirits can’t make small talk on the telephone.
Looks like Rakesh and Buk Lau are going to be stuck with their ghost! What would be a funny ghost prank call for me to try next? What characters should get in on a ghost prank next time? Tell me in the comments below!
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Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Hello. Can I talk to James, please?
Guy: This is him!
Pranker: Alright. My name is Rakesh, I'm calling about advertisement you used to have it...
Pranker: ... for-for PARANORMAL ACTIVITIES? Do you do this one?
Pranker: Okay, excellent. I don't know what to do anymore.
Pranker: I am really in a bad position, I am SCARED at night!
Pranker: I-I-I really think something is going on here!
Guy: What's going on?
Pranker: So basically, I will be sleeping at night, I-I will hear things like...
Pranker: ... [wind sounds]
Pranker: And then the scariest thing that always happen, it's been happening now for...
Pranker: ... maybe 2-3 months. Every day I feel like I hear it.
Pranker: I will wake up, but I hear A LOUD TRAIN NOISE. Train like [imitates train] honking right?
Kid [in the background]: WHY?
Pranker: At night it will randomly get very very cold, where I can see my breath!
Pranker: But then, later on I can- it is warm again.
Guy: Do you- Do you hear knocking? Do you see any figures or any- or-
Pranker: Yes! YEs! Yes! De- DEFINITE! DEFINITE. I have seen it right?
Pranker: I-I-I getting u to go to the bathroom I feel like I see footsteps tapping away right?
Pranker: I-I-I'm going to the bathroom, door is closed already.
Pranker: I hear a light [knock] then I scream it!
Pranker: Right, I scream it! I look outside, I say:
Pranker: "LEAVE ME ALONE, WHAT DO YOU WANTING FROM ME? WHAT DO YOU WANTING?"
Pranker: "HIPPITY HOPPITUS!" And I don't know what to do it...
Pranker: So, I-I'm calling you really now as last resort.
Pranker: I don't know if I'm going crazy, I don't know if these things are real!
Pranker: I don't know if it is- I am s*****d in the head, I don't know what happened, right?
Guy: No you're not messed up in the head! There- there are spirits out there.
Pranker: Do a- Are you like GHOST BUSTING or something like that? Or-or how does it work?
Guy: Yeah, we're-we're just like uhm, taps uhm, paranormal on TV...
Guy: ... we have our own cameras, that we s- that we set up.
Guy: ANd we have our own re-recorders... All the gadgets to uh...
Guy: ... track down what's going on. We can actually hear-hear them talking to us...
Guy: ...we ask them w-why they're there and what do they want.
Guy: And then, while you're there too!
Pranker: Oh crap. C-ca-can y- DO YOU HEAR IT? I CAN HEAR IT RIGHT NOW!
Pranker: Hello? Hello? [train sounds]
Guy: I'm here! I'm here!
Pranker: What? The- th- did-
Guy: Are you there?
Pranker: Yeah. HA- HA- THE-
Pranker: Dodo DO YOU HEAR THAT ONE?
Guy: I hear it!
Pranker: But- I try to record it right?
Pranker: I-I-I put up camera myself, I make YOUTUBE CHANNEL try to get people...
Pranker: ... to maybe insight about what happened, but I don't have too many subscriber!
Pranker: I don't have too many people that are wanting to help me you know? Right?
Guy: Right, you know we'll-we'll-we'll help you!
Pranker: Will you sa- will you subscribe too?
Pranker: Right. Right.
Guy: Yeah, yeah, I can. I can make you a video!
Pranker: Alright, COLLABORATION! I like that right? SUB 4 SUB, right, right.
Pranker: Yeah, yeah.
Pranker: But- One thing is that my wife is also co-owner of house and she does not really believe!
Pranker: She thinks I am going crazy. She don't know what happened.
Pranker: Can you just tell her FOR ONE MINUTE? So that she can be okay with it and then we can set up appointment?
Pranker: Ok. Excellent. One second!
Pranker: Uh, Buk, uh- Come talk to this guy! He will tell you about what happened!
Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: What do you want me to do huh? I told you already I don't want to deal with this crazy stuff okay?
Pranker: It's all in your head. ALL IN YOUR HEAD!
Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Just give me one chance! Okay? Talk to him for about one minute okay? One minute.
Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Hello?
Guy: My name is James [censored] Paranormal I'm the founder. I just got a phone call from your husband?
Guy: And saying there was stuff going on in the home-
Guy: We try to explain things that are unexplainable. There is spirits, there is ghosts that are TRAPPED!
Guy: After we figure out- Go ahead.
Pranker: You know I- I've been telling my husband- I don't know, I told him I don't know what the hell you are smoking!
Pranker: What the heck happened he told me "Oh I heard I hear TRAIN NOISE! I hear the people walking, I hear the people knocking..."
Pranker: ... " I hear the people farking!" I'm like "What do you think- what do you think this is?" You know?
Guy: Yes, do uh- You guys live in a house or an apartment?
Pranker: We-we live- we live in the house you know... And-and-and-and eh... He's eh... It-it really!
Pranker: We going to break up! You know I go to leave him, I have another black guy who I want to marry me!
Pranker: I-I- coming back for visitation, for our kid you know?
Pranker: SO I don't know what to- I don't know what to do! I-I-I don't know if I should give this crazy mothefarker a chance?
Pranker: Or if I should go back to Tyrone? You know he have the BIG - you know. Dark meat.
Guy: Yeah, he's not crazy. It-it- this stuff does happen all the time!
Pranker: But-but just- eh Don't take this insult, please understand me.
Pranker: But how do I know that you're not both crazy? You know?
Guy: No I'm not crazy though I'm- I've been in the newspapers, I've been on TV before!
Pranker: Okay but- DO they put it for like a GOOD REASON or the- do they say like
Pranker: "LOOK HERE THIS CRAZY MOTHERFARKER TRY TO FIND SOME GHOSTS in your house" you know?
Guy: No it's nothing like that.
Pranker: Oh okay, alright. Alright. Uh, forgive me you know! I just want to understand what we do it!
Pranker: Because my husband he's been telling me this for two-three months now! He waking up like a- like a CRAZY MOTHERFARKER!
Pranker: You know I don't know! I want to just LEAVE HIM and be over with. But if you really think that it's a- it's a crazy...
Pranker: ... PARANORMAL THING... Maybe I give a chance. You know?
Guy: It's free for [censored] and surrounding countries.
Pranker: Right, right.
Guy: But if I have to go out of the country a long ways away to investigate,
Guy: ...I got to charge something for gas because of the gas price.
Pranker: OK but you know sometimes, we-we try to sit together. You know he-he-he...
Pranker: We try to do the SEXY THING TOGETHER right? And the he tell me he-he sometimes he cannot perform right?
Pranker: We be in the middle of the BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM and then right in the middle BOOM flaccid right?
Pranker: BOOM, like a TIP OVER right like, NO MORE! NO MORE FUN TIME! You know?
Pranker: And he tell me it's because the ghosts scare him or like the ghost he try to tickle his ball sack!
Pranker: Eh-eh-eh- what do you think about this?
Guy: Yeah they don't do that. [giggles]
Pranker: Okay but he- he use it as the excuse. He say "THEY WATCHING ME! They getting too close to my private"...
Pranker: ..."they do this-this" and he say that it make him- it make him you know go the limpy one.
Guy: Spirits do watch people. You can't see them but they can see you.
Pranker: OK, we-well one second. I want to rub it in, one second, in his face. One second.
Pranker: SEE MOTHERFARKER I TOLD YOU ALREADY! You know you tell me " OH THEY TOUCHING ME, THEY DO THIS!"
Pranker: He say you are the crazy a**hole! He say that's not true!
Pranker: You try to tell me " OH LOOK HERE I CANNOT DO ANYMORE I CANNOT GO INSIDE YOU! I cannot do the boom boom boom" right?
Pranker: Excuse! Excuses all the time you know?
Pranker: When I leave you for the dark meat and he hit it all the time, you will remember me okay? You will miss me!
Pranker: And the you'll say "I WISH I DON'T TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED" you know?
Pranker: Eh, sorry. Go ahead.
Guy: But I'll have to get my crew and then obviously call back and let you know.
Pranker: Sorry. CRAP!
Pranker: So loud you know. Sorry we live behind the train station you know all the time we-
Pranker: We sleeping WEEOH all the time you know?
Pranker: Okay, I know we have to pay you the money for the gas, but how much money you gonna pay us if you find something you know, crazy like...
Pranker: OH MY GOD THIS IS SO CRAZY! A PARANORMAL I HAVE TO BUST THE GHOSTS!
Pranker: You know how much money we going to get it?
Guy: I mean if you want to sell it to whoever you want to sell it to-to uh...
Guy: Prove that you guys are not crazy that's up to-
Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: BUT brother's got to eat! You know what I'm saying?
Guy: Now who was- WHO did I just hear? I'll, I don't-
Guy: I'm starting to believe this is not a real phone call.
Pranker: Wha- what do you mean?
Guy: I just heard a regular person's voice.
Guy: You know you're talking with an accent which is perfectly fine!
Guy: But I just got done hearing... A voice talking like me.
Guy: Come through and say a- Yeah somebody said "a person's got to eat, you know what- you know what I'm saying?"
Pranker: Oh shi- I don't hear that myself. I-
Guy: I heard it.
Pranker: I think- Oh my god. Maybe you're right. Maybe is you think is the- the ghost?
Guy: Because I heard a another person's voice come through on the phone.
Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: But how can you be sure?
Guy: And he said I'll-
Guy: I'm a- I'm a professional about this sir.
Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Oh-
Guy: I'm hearing too many things over the phone .
Pranker: But I- Are you calling me a liar or something? I tell you we have a paranormal activity in the house!
Pranker: So you should not be too surprised you know?
Guy: There's somebody else on the other line sir!
Pranker: What do you mean?
Guy: I keep hearing somebody else talking.
Pranker: But i- it's-it's a- WHAT? It's-it's only me you know it.
Pranker: My husband he's in the-in the couch right here, you want talk to him?
Pranker: Rakky! Come talk to this guy! He- he think I lie to him about something. I don't know what the heck happened you know?
Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Uh, yeah hello, how are you?
Guy: Good. Yeah, as me- as me and the other person were talking on the phone-
[scream in the background]
Guy: I keep hearing another voice in the in- in the- in the background.
Guy: Like a regular voice. Come on.
Guy: Hang on one second.
Kids: [laughing in the background]
Pranker: I think maybe you having paranormal there too! I hear some voices right?
Guy: Them are my kids.
Pranker: Oh, okay. Ha, right.
Guy: Yeah I- I mean like I told , the person that was on the phone before you...
Guy: You know I understand you guys talk in an accent-
Guy: But I keep hearing a- a- a regular voice like me talking to you! I keep hearing that!
Pranker: But I- I really think I don't know how that would happen, it's really only-
Pranker: My son is not even here right now and I- so I don't know how that could be possible.
Pranker: Right, I am it's just only me and her right now.
Guy: Spirits can't get on the phone and talk like that. You just can't hear them with your regular st-
Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: MAN DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T DO!
Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: WHAT? I heard it that time too!
Pranker: Was that to one you're talking about?
Guy: Yes that's the voice I'm talking about.
Pranker: What... Okay, alright, can you come right now man?
Guy: What's that?
Pranker: Ca-can you come right now? I will- I will pay the gas I will pay the fee! I will pay your dinner!
Pranker: I will do whatever but please! I don't know, I heard it too right now!
Guy: Yeah I-I- there's no possible way we can come right now.
Pranker: But there is a- THERE IS A BLACK SPIRIT in my house right now.
Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Coming to get you my dawg! [barking]
Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: What are you doing right now get away from me!
Pranker: Okay look, I don't know if somebody's trying to play funny but I am really already very scared.
Pranker: Okay so it is not a good time to- to play with my emotion!
Guy: Spirits-spirits don't do that sir. I've been on TV...
Guy: With other high class paranormal groups.
Guy: That's not how it works.
Pranker: Right but okay so other crazy people also agree that-that is not possible. Right?
[phone call ends]
Pranker: Motherfarker, where did you go? I told you I was scared.
Pranker: Did he get you too? [laughing]
Pranker [speaking to audience]: Alright, that guy's gone. It's farking crazy! [laughing]