Funny Hooker Prank Call!

Best quotes: 

• “How big is your mango?”
• “I want to put it in za tahini hole”
• “But you can speak don’t be like a retard ladyyyy!”

Body of content:

I found a Craigslist advertisement posted by a hooker who was looking for a girl to be her hotel roommate and ‘work’ with her. I decided to prank call her as Buk Lau, pretending to be a girl interested in her offer, but she was NOT having it! This call went downhill so fast!

She was completely put off by Buk Lau and his weird voice, and also seemed perplexed on his gender  - can’t blame her on that one!  To get her to stay on the line I tried using three other characters acting as prospective clients. With the exception of Rakesh, she seemed to buy into it, until I brought Buk Lau back on the line and she had a meltdown!

Why do you think she was SO put off by Buk Lau? He just wanted to help her work! Do you want to see more calls to crazy hookers in the future? Let me know in the comments below!

 

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Transcript

[phone calling sound]

Prostitute: Hello?

Pranker: Duh, hello.

Prostitute: Hello? 

Pranker: Duh, yeah I see your advertisement on the Craig Listing looking for the girl to stay with you right?

Pranker: And make the money?

Prostitute: Oh, no, I'm not looking for that anymore.

Pranker: What happened? You find somebody?

Prostitute: Yes.

Pranker: Okay, but y-you only you only post it like 2, 3 days ago!

Pranker: I was going to invite you to come stay with me for the free! Right?

Pranker: We work together, make the money! What do you think?

Prostitute: Why are you-

Pranker: Hello?

Prostitute: Why are you speaking like that? 

Pranker: Speak like what?

Prostitute: Like that?

Pranker: What-what do you mean? I don't-I don't understand you know?

Prostitute: You acting-

Pranker: It's-it's my voice you know?

Prostitute: I'm-I'm 

Prostitute: Yeah, I understand it's- I'm alright 

Prostitute: I'm not looking for that anymore

Pranker: But why-why are you speaking like that? 

Prostitute: What do you mean? Okay, so you playing? Okay

Pranker: Exactly! You see mother farka? It's not nice!

Pranker: [laughing]

Pranker: [mocking and laughing]

[phone calling sound]

Prostitute [to someone]: Do you all see this, whoever this is it's gonna be a problem...

Prostitute: Hello?

Pranker: Duh hello? Why do you hang up on me? What the heck happen you know?

Prostitute: Because I don't wanna speak 

Pranker: But you very hurt my feelings! You know?

Pranker: I want to talk to you to be the friendly, right? What was the big deal?

Pranker: You mother fark to you right now!

Prostitute: Because I don't- Are you a guy? Or a female?

Pranker: Duh! [cough] 

Pranker: I'M A WOMAN!

Pranker: What-

Prostitute: No, sweetie can you stop calling my phone? 

Pranker: No! But I want to, I want to come with you! 

Pranker: We can do the d**k sucking together right? And make the money you know?

Prostitute: No, I'm okay sweetie.

Pranker: But-but I have a free place for you to stay with me!

Prostitute: Yeah, I don't wanna stay with you, I'm okay

Pranker: But I- Don't worry I don't bite you anything 

Pranker: Don't worry I don't like a nipple on you while you sleep or something okay?

Pranker: I'm a very very gentle person!

Prostitute: Listen... I-I-I'm not... I don't wanna speak. Okay?

Pranker:  You can speak! Don't be like a retard lady! Okay?

Prostitute: Bye-bye!

Pranker: Just tell me how [hangs up phone]

Pranker: [laughing] 

[phone calling sound] 

Prostitute: Hello?

Pranker2: Uh, hello, what's good? How are you?

Prostitute: Good...

Pranker2: Uh, I wondering are you available tonight?

Prostitute: Uhm... yes.

Pranker2: Okay, and uh, what is the-the-the  donation required for you?

Prostitute: Uh, $60. For a quickie. 

Pranker: Uh, I I'm sorry what? 

Prostitute: $60. For a quickie 

Pranker2: Okay, I like that! You have like uh, the rhyming situation going and uh, 

Pranker: What if you want to do a longey?

Prostitute: [fake laughing]  It's $80 for 30 minutes, 

Prostitute: And then $120 for hour.

Pranker: Okay... Alright, alright...

Pranker: And uh, I-I ho- I hope you don't mind me asking...

Pranker: But is there anything off limit?

Prostitute: Uh, yeah, what are you looking for?

Pranker: Uh, I would like to do like the BOOM BOOM BOOM from the back!

Pranker: If you-if you're okay with that 

Prostitute: From the back- what do you mean like, uh what you mean like Greek?

Pranker: Uh, I don't know the-the terminology that well but I want to put uh...

Pranker: I want uh... I want to do like uh... what-

Pranker: How do you say in this country uh....

Prostitute: Anal? 

Pranker: Right. 

Prostitute: Anal?

Pranker: Yeah I want to put it in the-the tahini hole.

Prostitute: Oh, oh no. I'm sorry. 

Pranker: What-what but uh- It's okay!

Pranker: If you don't do it we can find something else. I just want to ask if you do it.

Prostitute: No I-I don't 

Pranker: Okay do you do like, uh...

Pranker: Do-o you lick the shawarma?

Prostitute: Do I lick what?!

Pranker: Do you lick the, you know... 

Prostitute: Uhm... Yes. 

Pranker: Do you lick it like-like a lollipop?

Prostitute: Yes. 

Pranker: Okay, alright, I like that. Do you do like the outside calling or the inside calling?

Prostitute: The out-, uhm... You come to me.

Pranker: Okay, and uh... One question, I could not tell really from the picture, 

Pranker: but how big is your mango? 

Prostitute: My mango?

Pranker: Yeah.

Prostitute: Maan... 

Pranker: Do I make you self-consc- Hello?

Pranker: [laughing] She hung up.

[phone call sound]

Prostitute: Hello?

Pranker: Duh, hello? Can I make one appointment 

Prostitute: Hello?

Pranker: with you. I would like to make one appointment with you today please if you have the availability. 

Prostitute: You is the same person that called me a couple of mins ago!

Pranker: What, I- What?! I-I never talk to you before in my life.

Prostitute: Yes you did!

Pranker: What are you ta- are you, are you-

Prostitute: You just called me a couple minutes ago from another phone number.

Pranker: Are you delusional or something?!

Pranker: I-I want to pay you the money

Prostitute: You called me. No you called me a couple minutes ago 

Prostitute: from another phone number asking me was my ad on Craigslist 

Prostitute: looking- still looking for a girl 

Pranker: No that's not me 

Prostitute: Yeah you did just call me!

Pranker: No but-

Prostitute: I know your voice 

Pranker: No but I-I you don't know me anything 

Pranker: I want to-I want to set appointment with you you know? I give you like $100 

Pranker: or something per hour, whatever you charging we can do-do the sexy thing you know?

Prostitute: You just talked to me said this is a female so you a male or a female?

Pranker: I'm a female I want to do the- Do you do that lesbian thing?

Prostitute: Hello?

Pranker: Hello?

Prostitute: Yes. You just told me-

Pranker: I-I having trouble hearing you. Why-why do you sound so far away? 

Pranker: I don't know what- 

Pranker: Hello? [laughing]

[phone calling sound] 

Prostitute [singing]: And now you're gonna miss my love 

Prostitute [singing]: and one day soon you'll see

Prostitute [singing]: You'll reach out for me

Pranker: Stick to SUCKING C**K BITCH! 

Pranker: [snickering]

Prostitute [singing]: Know how to treat her, should have felt a little deeper 

Pranker: Hello?

Prostitute [singing]: and now you're gonna miss my love 

Pranker: [laughing]

Prostitute: And don't leave me voicemails 'cause I don't like voicemails.

Pranker: [laughing] Yeah she was actually singing...

[phone calling sound]

Prostitute: Hello? 

Pranker: Uh, hello. I saw your uh, advertisement 

Pranker: on the uh listing-

Prostitute: WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME?!

Pranker: What?

Prostitute: WHO ARE YOU?!

Pranker: What are you talking about? Relax, I calling about the adverti-

Prostitute: WHO ARE YOU?!

Pranker: What are- OOOOH MY GOD RELAXING right?

Pranker: I don't know what happen here. Look, I calling about first time-

Prostitute: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

Pranker: But-

Prostitute: Yo,  who are you? This is the fourth time you called me 

Prostitute: the fourth number you have called me from. What is going on?

Pranker: Oh my-

Prostitute: Do you know me?

Pranker: I don't . I don't know you I wanting to talk about relation right?

Prostitute: This is a- No I don't have time for all this

Prostitute: I don't even know you man!

Pranker: Look, relaxing right? I'm looking for girlfriend-ing. Please.

Pranker: Hello?

Pranker: I know you are there right now okay? 

Pranker: DON'T BE QUITE WITH ME OKAY?

Pranker: I know what you are doing. Stop it.

Pranker: Hello?

[phone calling sound]

Prostitute: Hello?

Pranker: Ay yo, what it do girl, how you doing?

Prostitute: Good

Pranker: Yeah, I was hoping to see you tonight for like 30 minutes if you are available 

Pranker: what's your schedule looking like?

Prostitute: It's-it's good.

Pranker: Okay so you-you available tonight?

Prostitute: Yes.

Pranker: Alright so what's your charge for like thirty minutes?

Prostitute: $80

Pranker: Oh, you said $80?

Prostitute: Mhm.

Pranker: Okay, alright and uh...

Pranker: quick question I'm gonna meet one of my boys tonight, are-are you okay with kinda 

Pranker: seeing two people back to back or you don't-you don't usually do that? 

Prostitute: OH, oh no! 

Pranker: I-I'm not saying at the same time I mean like you handle me for 30 minutes 

Pranker: and after we done, you have like a 20 minute break and then my boy comes in

Pranker: does his thing with you, I leave that kinda thing. 

Prostitute: Is he gonna be separate pay? 

Pranker: Uh, yeah, yeah. 

Prostitute: Alright, that's fine.

Pranker: Okay and-and by any chance do-do you do any like group rates? 

Pranker: Could we get-could we get both in there for like $150? One after another?

Prostitute: Uh... I guess so. 

Pranker: Okay! Alright mama that sounds good and uh...

Pranker: What time could we meet up tonight?

Prostitute: Any time, whenever you ready.

Pranker: Okay I'm thinking like uh... 10 o'clock let me ask my boy.

Pranker [to his friend]: Ay yo Buk, what time you wanna-what time you wanna come uh, roll out of here?

Pranker[back to call]: Okay, o-o-one second here-

Pranker[speaking as Buk Lau]: Duh hello? 

Prostitute: HELLO?!

Pranker: Duh, yeah. Okay but my friend tell you right he want to go fir-

Prostitute: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- WHO ARE YOU?!

Pranker: Hello?! What?! 

Prostitute: THIS IS A-

Pranker: What I- hello?!

Pranker: [laughing]