Gym Locker Room Shower Prank

Best quotes: 

• “He may have been of gay descent”
• “This guy came up to me, y’know, up to no good, started f***** touching my manhood” 
• “‘B’ as in boy, ‘I’ as in incentive, it’s a big word, ‘G-G’ as in girl, ‘U’ as in ukelele, ‘M’ as in manhood, and ‘S’ as in sexually harassed” 

Body of content:

I prank called a gym pretending to be one of their members pulled off an awkward shower prank! Calling as Tyrone, I informed them that after walking out of the shower in their locker room, another one of their members approached and touched my “manhood”. 

The manager and general manager were incredibly uncomfortable with the situation and were trying to sort out how to handle Tyrone’s complaint. In the meantime, I was able to sneak in a couple funny references without them seeming to notice! I can’t believe they didn’t react at all.

Do you think the managers bought this whole story despite some of the ridiculous statements, or were they secretly suspicious? What other scenarios would you like to see me prank call a gym with? Tell me in the comments! 

 

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Transcript

[Phone ringing]

Manager: Good evening, thank you for calling [censored], this is Christine

Manager: and how may I direct your call?  

Pranker: [Inhale] Uh, hey Christine. How is it going? Uh, I have a-a problem

Pranker: I want to talk to somebody about. I don't know what's happening, uh

Pranker: who can I talk to about the issue I had in the locker rooms?

Manager: Certainly, our, um-, general manager has actually stepped out of the

Manager: office for the moment. But I would be happy to take, um-, or-, or

Manager: register your concern or suggestion, and I'll have him to give you

Manager: a call back if you like?

Pranker: Uh. Maybe-, maybe you can give me some advice to uh-, uh-, you just an Manager

Pranker: or what do you do there?

Manager: Certainly, I'm one of the managers here.

Pranker: Oh, you one of the managers?

Manager: Yes, absolutely.

Pranker: Alright, excellente. Uh, I was in the locker room the other day, after

Pranker: a hard workout and, I don't know what happened, but I was changing you

Pranker: know, trying to shower and clean up, and I was-, I was, you know naked

Pranker: in-, in the men's locker room. Which is a normal thing, right? Like getting ready

Manager: Mhm.

Pranker: And, there is a guy in there, I-, I think his name was John, I don't know

Pranker: what happened. He came up to me yeah, man: "oh, you got something on your

Pranker: something on your leg there." And I just stood there not really knowing

Pranker: what the n**** wanted, so I'm just standing there and he ends up touching

Pranker: my genitals and as-, as if he's wiping something off but nothing was there

Pranker: and then he ended up just straight up cupping my ball sack. And after that

Pranker: I just kind of stood there be like: "man what the fark you doing dawg?"

Pranker: And then, after that, he walked away.

Manager: Mhm.

Pranker: But I don't know what-, what-, it's been creeping me the heck out all night.

Pranker: you know, I've been sitting here thinking, "man what-, what is going on?"

Pranker: Like, I am freaked the fark out right now. You know, I came in as a guest

Pranker: My first time coming to the gym. And I-, I like the facility

Manager: Mhm.

Pranker: and all, but I don't know what's happening

Manager: And was this someone that you have met before, or is just a complete stranger

Manager: that just approached you and attempted to just, sort of invade your privacy?

Manager: it sounded like?

Pranker: Yeah, yeah he was just some random guy, and if he was trying to be like a

Pranker: good samaritan, you know what I'm saying? Like, he came up to me, he's like:

Pranker: " Yo, you got something on your-, something on your leg." Right? So he kind

Pranker: of touched my leg, right? Just to rub little something off. And then-, and then

Pranker: he touches the shaft of my unit, and brushes something off, but nothing was there

Pranker: right? So I'm standing there like: "What the fark?", then-, then this n**** goes

Pranker: ahead and-, and essentially just takes his hand like a cup formation, pretend like

Pranker: you trying to drink some water, right? Like you pouring some water into your palms

Pranker: then you go, schhhlp, right? That's what he did, and POP right under my nut sack.

Manager: I'm sorry to hear that, sir. That is completely inappropriate and absolutely unacceptable.

Pranker: Absolutely! So, what am I what-, what-, what can we do? Can you-, can you check the

Pranker: security tapes or something and find this n**** and farking do something?

Manager: Uh, let me see if there's something that we can do to assist you, may I just have

Manager: your first name please?

Pranker: Okay, Tyrone, T-Y-Rone. Last name..

Manager: Okay-, and uh-, oh I'm sorry. Just your first name is needed. Let me place you on a

Manager: brief hold, our general manager just walked in, and I can have him, uh, speak with you.

Manager: May I place you on a brief hold, Tyrone?

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

Manager: Thank you.

[Hold music]

General manager: This is Ray, is this Tyrone?

Pranker: Uh yeah, how are you doing? So, what's your name? Can you speak a little bit

Pranker: you sound very low on-, on my end.

General manager: Uh, yeah this is-, this is Ray, I'm the general manager, and-, and, this is Tyrone?

Pranker: Yeah, this is Tyrone.

General manager: O-okay, I can hardly hear you. But, uh, okay.

Pranker: What-, what-, what's the issue? Am I too, is something wrong with the quality?

General manager: Can-, can you hear me now?

Pranker: No man, this ain't Verizon, what are you doing? You hear me now good, I'm-, I'm  I can hear you

Pranker: Can you hear me?

General manager: I-, I-, can I-, hello, this Tyrone?

Pranker: Yeah.  

General manager: Okay, I can-, I can hear you now a little bit better, okay?

Pranker: Okay, alright. How-, how are you doing?

General manager: Good.

Pranker: Okay, did you associate explain to you what's happening?

General manager: You-, you were a guest in the club, and what-, what day did you come in as a guest?

Pranker: Uh, two days ago.

General manager: Okay, so, on Saturday, you were in the club, and what time did you come in?

Pranker: Yeah, I came in at like, uh, probably like 3 o'clock or something? 3 o'clock?

General manager: 3 o'clock?

Pranker: Yeah.

General manager: And uh, were you in the wet area?

Pranker: I was-

General manager: Uh, you know, by the shower area? Or in the locker rooms? Or-

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, I was just getting out of the shower area, right? And I was just doing

Pranker: some uh, my junk, was just hanging out there, I guess, you know, this man was a was

Pranker: of gay decent. Is that how they say it? Uh, and he came up to me he's like: "Hey you

Pranker: you got some on your leg there." So at the time, I just stood there thinking like:

Pranker: "What's happening?", you know what I'm saying? Like: "Okay", and then at-, at the time

Pranker: I didn't know how to react, so I just stood there, right? So he starts wiping something

Pranker: off my leg, I'm-, I'm buck-naked off the shower, you know what I'm saying? So, all-, all

Pranker: of a sudden, he starts-, he starts moving and touching the shaft of my wang, you know

Pranker: what I'm saying? And then after that, "man what's going on, man?" And he's like-

General manager: Yes.

Pranker: "Oh, okay, I-, I got it." I was like: "There was nothing there." He's like: "Oh, yeah

Pranker: yeah it was, you just missed it." This was a Caucasian male

General manager: Hm, now, what did this person look like, was he Caucasian, African-American, uh?

Pranker: Uh-

General manager: Hispanic or-

Pranker: He was Caucasian-, Caucasian. Probably about 5'7", blonde hair-

General manager: 5'7"? Lo-, lo-, long hair?

Pranker: Yeah, blonde hair.

General manager: So, blo-, blonde hair?

Pranker: Yeah.

General manager: How old was he?

Pranker: He look like, he was maybe 40. He was one of them people, that was, you know, up there.

General manager: Okay. Uh.

Pranker: He was wearing skinny jeans.

General manager: Yeah, we don't have-. What's that? I'm sorry.

Pranker: He was wearing them skinny jeans, very, very defined across his body. I don't-, he may of-

Pranker: he may of been of gay decent.

General manager: Okay, so uh. Alright. Uh, I mean that can describe a lot of different people. Uh,

General manager: we don't have cameras in that area. Obviously.

Pranker: A lot of people that maybe of homosexual decent and have a blonde hair, with skinny jeans?

General manager: I-, you know I-, we have several thousand members and guests that come through the door

General manager: on a daily basis, so, uh-

Pranker: Do-, do you have any type uh-

General manager: No I-

Pranker: of security footage or something, because, man, it's weird, how-, what would you do if you

Pranker: were standing there some-, some n****s farking stroking your-, your wang, you know what I'm

Pranker: saying? It's weird, man. Crap, trip me out. I was FATIGUED. You know what I'm saying? I just

Pranker: had a hard ass workout, dripping sweat. Hop out of the shower, somebody approaches me with this

Pranker: you know what I'm saying? I really like the facility

General manager: Right-, right, I understand.

Pranker: So, what-, what do you think the uh-, the best course of action is right now?

General manager: Well, if we can identify him, then it's uh, something we can-, speak to an obviously

General manager: we have to speak to all parties involved. At this point, uh.

Pranker: You see, because, you know, I-, I sat on this for a couple of days, you know what I', saying?

Pranker: Because it was creeping me out. Because, you know, in West Philadelphia, where I was born and

Pranker: raised, I used to spend most of my days in the playground, chilling out, relaxing all cool

Pranker: you know? Shooting some b-ball outside of the school. This guy came up to me, you know, up to

Pranker: no good. Started farking touching my manhood. I didn't know what to do.

General manager: Well, if you want to come in, uh, tomorrow, you look at the video camera.

Pranker: Alright man. Well, you know, uh, can-, can you just do some investigating, and then get, I'll

Pranker: call you back and we can see what we can do? Alright, alright.

General manager: What's your last name, Tyrone?

Pranker: Uh, Biggums. B-I-G-G-U-M-S.

General manager: I-, I'm sorry, B-I-G-G?

Pranker: U-M-S. They call me Mr. Biggums.

General manager: And-, and how do you spell "B" as in boy?

Pranker: "B" as in boy, "I" as in incentive, it's a big word. "G-G" as in girl, "U" as in ukulele, "M"

Pranker: as in manhood, and "S" as sexually harassed.

General manager: Oh it's Biggums. Okay.

Pranker: Yeah.

General manager: Alright, Tyrone, so if you want to come and take a look at the video, uh, we can do that

General manager: but obviously we'd have to, uh-

Pranker: Man, I was just, you know, it was really-, really hurt me. You know what I'm saying, like I was

Pranker: just lit-, I-, you know, I walked out of there, not knowing, you know, disoriented. You know?

Pranker: I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh and the dice" in the

Pranker: mirror and the if anything I thought this cab was rare, I thought: "Man, forget it, let's just

Pranker: get some fresh air", you know what I'm saying? I was just trying to get a breather, man. The crap

Pranker: really farked up me up inside.

General manager: So, you were coming out of the shower and this person approached you?

Pranker: Yeah.

General manager: And he said: "There's something on your leg", and he's saying that like a bug or something

General manager: He slapped you and touched your genitals.

Pranker: Yeah, man. He was [resisting laughter] man, it's just-, sorry man, tripping me out right now, man

Pranker: just think about it, uh, sorry.

General manager: Now, did you say anything to him?

Pranker: No, man, he was just: " Oh I kind of got it." he was just kind of-, like-, if you could pre-, pretend

Pranker: my unit was like a bobble head, okay? He was just petting it, like, pippidypopping, as if it was some

Pranker: kind of spring-loaded action, just watching that crap. Bippity BOUNCE, you know what I'm saying?

General manager: Right, well if-, if you can, uh-, if you want to give me a call, if you want to come down-

General manager: we can set up a time to look at the video on Saturday. See if we can verify who the person is.

General manager: If we can't verify the person obviously, uh.

Pranker: Alright, well, thank you, I appreciate your help, I'll call you back.

General manager: Ah, thank you, alright.

Pranker: Alright, TOODLES!

General manager: [Hang up]

Pranker: [Speaking to audience] I don't know what the heck is that you got that fresh-, fresh bread crap.