Category: Robbery prank, UK prank
Characters: Tyrone, Russell, Buk Lau, Rakesh
Prank Victim: Car robbery victim
Rage Level: Moderate
- “I have a mother truckin’ advanced ballsack.”
- “Go stab-tastic on his mass but leave me alone man, I don’t wanna get punctured.”
- “Ever since I took that car I'm a changed man."
Body of content:
If you had your car stolen and had a chance to talk to the thief afterwards, what do you think you would say? I wanted to test this out when I received a prank call request on a guy in the UK who recently had his car stolen, along with his wallet, phone, and some free Subway sandwich cards. So, I took the opportunity and called him up as the thief to apologize for stealing the car!
This prank turned out to be SO much more crazy than I possibly could have imagined. Honestly, this guy actually seemed pretty normal… until he started talking about STABBING people!! I can usually keep it together during pranks, but it was almost impossible this time! It killed me how upset he was about the free subs card in particular - what a legend.
Despite this stolen car prank getting pretty heated, my classic “ball twisting trick” still managed to make him lose it! Do you want me to use that in more pranks in the future? Also, what was your favorite part in this whole crazy mess? Tell me in the comments below!
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Troll: This is a prank to a guy in the UK who had his car stolen. He also had his wallet, phone, and some free Subway sandwich cards in there too. I gave him a call and pretend to be the guy who stole his car. The way this prank ends is absolutely INSANE. Enjoy!
Tyrone: Yeah, hello? My name is Tyrone. Uh - I was just calling cos I wanted to, uhhh, extend my apologies to you about what happened to- to your black Ford Fiesta.
James: Uhhh, alright. That’s a bit weird.
Tyrone: Di- did you get that figured out with like insurance and stuff? Or like - what happened?
James: My insurance ain’t covering it yet so I gotta wait like three months. So…
James: They still haven’t found my car to be honest, so...
Tyrone: Yeah, yeah you had your phone and your wallet in there too man, I-
James: Yeah man, flickin’… all my wallet and that’s gone. I’ve gotta get all my credit cards and that cancelled and flickin’… driving license replaced, so-
Tyrone: nah, b-but a-and that Subway card man.
James: Yeah man, frigging had like 2 free subs on there. I was quite peeved off about that.
Tyrone: I-I thought it was more than two man, I thought it was like 3?
James: I dunno mate, how do you know that?
Tyrone: Well I mean, I-I-I redeemed a few of them so far, but like, I still got a few left.
James: WHAT?!... Wait, you nicked my car?!
Tyrone: [trying not to laugh]... Yeah.
James: Well where is it then?!
Tyrone: Well... [sighs]
James: What the luck man?
Tyrone: Alright man, look, I-I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Do you accept my apology?
James: YOU STOLE MY CAR.
Tyrone: I-I know man but times were tough, ya know what I’m sayin’? I needed a ride.
James: Times were tough? I’ve had to take time off work. UNPAID.
Tyrone: I’m sorry, okay? Like do- do you accept my apology? I just nee- I need closure so I can go to sleep at night.
James: No I don’t accept your apology unless you return my car and my sub card.. [deep inhale] flipping bell.
Tyrone: A’ight. G-give me a few days, I go- I got some more errands I gotta run, and like- you know, if we could stay on good terms, I’ll bring your whip back.
James: Yeah, plus chucking two grand...
Tyrone: Wait, bu-bu-but why two grand?
James: Because you stole my car??
Tyrone: But like- how often does-does the person who stole your car call you back and say sorry? Right like- you know… There’s a first time for everything.
James: Flipping bell, well if you bring it back in the next two days man… Then that’s alright. Floppin’ plus the money.
Tyrone: Wait, plus the- come on now-
Tyrone: but like- but you already said insurance is giving you a new car, so why you need two cars?
James: Ohhh my god.... Where are you?!
Tyrone: Look- I ain’t trying to fight, or like cause problems or nothing like that. I just wanna-
James: Where are you?
Tyrone: -say sorry man.
James: You STOLE my car!
Tyrone: Listen- I’ve been nothing but nice to you, okay? Can you please relax.
James: Ahhhh you got some bottle, you have.
James: I have to bike 5 miles to work now. At four o’clock in the morning.
Tyrone: I’m on that hustle, y’know what I’m saying? Like I-I-I just- I gotta feed my kid, you know? Just two weeks ago I broke into a dude’s house, jumped out of his back window with a Xbox, MacBook, and television. And he couldn’t catch my pass somehow!
James: So what? Did you replace his stuff as well?
Tyrone: Nah, I-I-, nah, he-he he jus- he just got flopped over, I didn’t do nothing for him.
James: Then why are you calling me?
Tyrone: Because I felt bad man. I saw yo- you know left the wallet in there, I saw yo pictures and stuff, I saw the subway card, and I- I was, you know, halfway through a tuna sub, and I felt frogging guilty.
James: Alright, well I’m gonna go now, man I’m reporting this to the police.
Tyrone: NAH-NAH D-daw-
James: Your fog is getting on my nerves.
Tyrone: YO! COME ON now daw- how you gonna do me like that? Y’know what I’m sayin’, I’m calling you to be nice, you wanna report me to the police?!
James: Well I want my car back and that’s the only way the insurance will speed up, so-
Tyrone: I-I’ve been commuting to work everyday, uhhh- so if you need like a ride in the morning, you wanna carpool, I can pick you up one day.
James: You’re gonna pick me up in MY car??
Tyrone: Give me like, 48 hours notice and we’d be good, I’ll pick you up. I-I’m busy, y’know what I’m sayin’, I got a busy schedule.
James: Sucking scum, mate. Bug off.
Tyrone: N- but dawg, come on man. Look, I’m sorry, okay? I d- from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry.
James: No you’re not! You just mucking nicked my car, and you’re pretty much rubbing salt on the wound calling me.
Tyrone: Wait so y- you telling me that I-I’m making it worse by apologizing?
James: You flocking are mate! You stole my car!
Tyrone: [whispering] ohhhh man…. Look I’m- I’m sorry, listen man, what can I do to-t- aside from bringing you back the whole car right now, what can I do to like, make this right? Cos like I-I- I’m hurting right now.
James: You can come here and you can ducking lick my mass.
Tyrone: So if-if I… If I come over there and lick yo mass…. we good?
Tyrone: [trying to contain laughter]
James: You gonna come lick my mass then?
Tyrone: I mean…. I don’t usually pluck around with that homo ship but like- [trying to contain laughter]
Tyrone: So I can- [pause]... [trying not to laugh and breaking character a bit] I can keep the subs right?
James: You plucking Tyrese mother flocker.
Tyrone: [inhaling and trying to contain laughter]
Tyrone: YEAH… [still struggling to not laugh]
James: Are you floppin’ high??
Tyrone: [long pause while trying to contain laughter]...Dawg y-you got me hurting right now.
James: GOOD. You stole my car.
Tyrone: A’ight. But. A’ight, so basically right now… Imma come through… [audibly trying to contain laughter]
James: ARE YOU CRYING?!!
Tyrone: [Voice shaky from holding in laughter]...Y-... Yeah.
Tyrone: [long pause while audibly trying to contain laughter]..... I- I’m sorry man. Y’know what I’m sayin’, like- I didn’t mean to do you wrong like that.
James: Nah mate, you stole someones car. What do you mean you don’t mean to do someone wrong like that? You should feel bad.
Tyrone: I- I do feel bad.
James: You’re going to fail mate.
Tyrone: I- oh- come on now, I don’t wanna go to no- Ever since I took that car, I’m a changed man, y’know what I’m sayin’, like-
James: I don’t care.
Tyrone: [deep sigh] a’ight man. So uhhhh… when can I swing through, like, actually to kinda like talk face to face-
James: Ten minutes mate. If you... lick my mass. You have my word.
Tyrone: A’ight. You ain’t gonna take a sit beforehand, right?
James: Nah, I’ll take a sit when you get here. Just before you’re doing it.
Tyrone: [deep sigh] You wanna go out for a sub first? To kinda help move things along.
James: No, I don’t wanna go out for a sub first.
Tyrone: Alright, I’ll- I’ll go there before I come through, I’m pretty hungry so I was gonna either share it with you or eat it myself, so like, l-last call.
James: Why don’t you bring it here, mate. Turkey breast and ham. That’s what I like, bring it here. And then I’ll fudgin’ have it.
Tyrone: A’ight. You want any condiments on that ‘wich?
James: Just lettuce and fudgin’ peppers mate.
Tyrone: Lettuce and pe- a’ight. So you want just a sandwich? Or you want like, uhh, a bag of chips [voice changes to Russell character]
Russell: and a drink too?
James: [perplexed pause] Whhaaat?... Sorry, who is this?
James: You sounded a bit weird....
Tyrone: Daww, you got some fluffed up ears man? What happened? What’s wrong with my voice?
James: I don’t know-
James: maybe it’s just me.
Russell: Ok look- I’m really sorry, okay, just I wanna put this behind us.
James: WHO ARE YOU?! You’re not flockin’ Tyrone! You sound like some white guy!
Tyrone: Uh, its Tyrone still.
James: Not its not! Who is this?
Tyrone: Nah man- see what happens is sometimes when I tug on my ballsack, my voice gets deeper. But when I un-tug, it- it turns back into, like, you know like-
James: WHAT?! My ballsack doesn’t do that mate. I think you-
Tyrone: Aiight, but like-
James: must have some type of deformity.
Tyrone: I got a mother truckin’ advanced ballsack. When I squeeze my ballsack if I twist it the right way I turn Chinese.
Tyrone: Yeah watch this- [grunting]
Buk Lau: DUH HELLO?!
James: [cackling] WHAT THE FOOT IS THIS BULLOCKS?!
Buk Lau: Do you want me to un-squeeze?!
James: [gasping and laughing] WHAT THE FOOT?!
Buk Lau: If I tug on da boo-sack and squeeze it the right way, I can be the Indian guy youlo?
James: [chuckling] Bug off.
Buk Lau: [grunting]
Rakesh: Hello, can I talk to guy who got car stolen? Right.
James: [confused laughter]
Tyrone: [chuckling] You making me laugh, daww, you gotta relax.
James: [chuckling] You’re fluffin’ playing with your balls mate, while you’re talking to another bloke on the phone.
Tyrone: [chuckling] I- I guess you right man. That- that is a little bit weird. We good now, right?
James: Yeah, if you come round in ten minutes time, I told you.
Tyrone: Okay, a’ight. M-m-me and my boy Nathan going come through right now.
Tyrone: My boy Nathan.
James: Nathan who?
Tyrone: You don’t know him, Nathan [last name censored].
James: That mugging trick.
Tyrone: Wait, you know Nathan?!
James: YEAH, I BUGGIN’ DO!
Tyrone: How do you know Nathan?!
James: I went to school with him!
Tyrone: That’s the mother clubber that told me where the car was!
James: Are you being serious?
Tyrone: YEAH! W-w-were you guys friends before this?
James: One of my best mates.
Tyrone: BAYUM. Daww he did- he did you dirty like that?
James: Suckin’ bass.
Tyrone: Let me call him right now, I’ll call him with you right now, a’ight?
James: Alright then.
Tyrone: I’m bout to three-way him right now. [phone rings]
Tyrone: Wassup man, ey yo its your boy Tyrone. So I-I-I got James’s car right here, and I was wondering, like, when you wanna split this money?
Nathan: Um, we’ll meet at the Chinese. I like the dough balls there, they’re very nice.
Tyrone: A’ight man, well look I me- I-I-I was feeling bad so I kinda wanted to call James just to apologize to him. What you think about that?
Nathan: Um, it’s up to you really.
Tyrone: Alright, sounds good brother. Well I’ll give you a shout back once I figure this out.
Nathan: Alright, sound.
Nathan: See ya later Tyrone.
Tyrone: A’ight man, see ya. [now talking to James] Yo, wassup man, so you heard what happened?
James: That floppin’ piece of grit.
Tyrone: Yeah, so like… now what?
James: What you mean “now what”? I’m gonna go kick his head in. I’ll see ya later. [talking in the background to his brother] Oi, Tom, get your combat knife mate. Bring it out.
Tyrone: A’ight so, h-how soon you going be there?
James: Flockin, half hour.
Tyrone: Okay, half hour, so b-but like- are y-you gonna go easy on him right? Like you gonna be nice, or like-
James: Nah, I’m gonna stab him.
Tyrone: WAIT, YOU GONNA DO WHAT?!
James: I’m gonna stab him!
Tyrone: It’s just material items, relax. I’ll get you some Subway-
James: I don’t care. I’ll probably stab you as well.
Tyrone: COME ON NOW, DAWW! After all that, you know we- we was laughing together, y’know what I’m sayin’, we- we cried together, shed a few tears, and now you wanna stab me too?
Tyrone: Just, go ahead and go- go stab-tastic on his mass but leave me alone man, I don’t wanna get punctured.
James: See ya later.
Tyrone: A’ight man look, I-I gotta let you in on something, okay? Because, I’ve been playin’ around too long.
James: What’s that?
Troll: Uhhh, okay, essentially… this is just a joke. This- this whole thing’s just a prank.
James: From who?
Troll: Okay, it was initially partially set up by... Nathan. My name is Russell, I’m a voice actor and comedian, I have a YouTube channel called Ownage Pranks. Can you tell me what would’ve happened, let’s say, like, you knock on his door, he answers the door, what would’ve happened?
James: I probably would’ve just stabbed him.
Troll: Do you really think you would’ve just cutting straight up stabbed him? Cos I’d feel bad if like, I made you kill some dude.
James: Yeah [chuckling], it’s like muggin’ trust man.
James: I’ve known this guy for years.
Troll: Hey I- I have Nathan on the line too.
Nathan: Hey James, honestly mate, I didn’t mean for this to go this far. Honestly, I thought he was just gonna give it-
James: Ahhh. Alright mate. Flippin’ almost-
Nathan: Done it a bit- longer than I thought, and I’m- I’m sorry man. I hope your brother doesn’t still come after me. I can’t- I’ll cant- I don’t think I’m gonna sleep properly tonight.
Troll: Okay, let- let me make sure. Okay, for one, Nathan did not tell me to take it as far as I took it, but it was just too funny, and- but more or less, I hope this doesn’t affect the friendship at all, or anything like that. But that wit was bugging hilarious.
Nathan: As long as everything’s okay now, and I… still live another night, I’m happy.
Troll: [Laughs] Yeah, I’m- I’m glad no one died. Because that might, like, you know, I’m not trying to-
Nathan: Yea, so am I-
Troll: get on the news for like, flopping killing somebody. But alright, sounds good guys. Ummm, well uhh.. Thank you for everyone’s time, again thank you for being such a great sport. Uhh I do hope you find the plucking scumbag who stole your bit.
Nathan: Yeah, so do I-
James: Alright mate.
Troll: [chuckling] Alright guys, enjoy the rest of your day, and keep an eye out for the video on YouTube sometime. [chuckling]
James: Alright mate, see ya later.
Troll: Dude, that was the.. [laughing]. Thank you SO much for all your support and helping me reach three million subscribers. I’ve been super excited to upload this video in particular. This prank had to be cut down a bit because it was just so long and insane. But I’ll tell you what though, if this video hits a million views I will upload the extended version of this prank. It’s over twenty minutes long and features even more ridiculously hilarious moments in it, so I really think you guys will enjoy it. Please remember to share this special video with your friends, it’d really mean a lot to me and be a great way to introduce them to my videos. Don’t forget to hit that subscribe button if you’re new to catch my future pranks. Now begins the road to four million with my OP Crew. I love you all for sticking around for the ride.