Category: Prank calls
Characters: Buk Lau, Rakesh, Abdo
Prank Victim: Cafe owner
Rage Level: Hardcore
- “You can LICK MY ASS YOU DONKEY.”
- “Sir, you get off the phone or next time I see you I’ll stick this up your ass, do you understand?”
- “Motherfarker, I will come there right now and shove my kabob skewer up your ass.”
Body of content:
A viewer requested a prank call on the owner of a cafe where he was cursed at and chased out by the owner. The altercation happened because he complained that the Boston cream donut they served didn't have the traditional cream filling. I decided to do this cafe prank by calling in with the same complaint to see how they handled it.
Buk Lau, Rakesh, AND Abdo all called the cafe to try and get reasonable compensation for their bad experience, and the owner and staff completely flipped out! As if their terrible customer service wasn’t enough, they also dropped some racist comments to Rakesh and Abdo. How can a business like this stay open when they treat their customers so poorly? Should I try to call them again? Let me know in the comments!
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Guy: This is [censored], may I help you?
Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Yeah, hello, [censored]. I came in there yesterday, I wanted to call actually, uh-, I-, I wanted-
Pranker: like a TRADITIONAL BOSTON CREAM PIE and the guy tell me I was gonna get that and so I buy SEVERAL of them for all my friends-
Pranker: from BOSTON, they very EXCITED, you know, to have it, and then it was NOT the right one, you know?
Guy: Well, everybody makes the Boston Cream Pie different, sir.
Pranker: YEAH, NO, but it had a CHERRY FILLING, you know? It's not supposed to have a CHERRY FILLING inside of it, you know?
Pranker: Supposed to be the CREAM.
Guy: Er, Boston Cream different variation sir.
Pranker: Yeah, but CREAM is not CHERRY, you know, I have never had a CREAM in my life, that was FRUIT, you know?
Guy: Well, that's how we make them here, sir.
Pranker: I GOT YOU, you must be like a LEVEL HEADED businessman, right? I can come in for the refund?
Guy: NO! NO REFUND.
Pranker: What do you m-
Guy: Once you take something out of here sir, if you bring it back within an hour or so, FINE.
Pranker: I KNOW MAN, but you expect to DRIVE ALL THE WAY for THREE DONUTS?! What am I gonna do, right?
Guy: OKAY DON'T DRIVE HERE SIR, THROW THEM IN THE TRASH.
Guy: We already got your money-
Pranker: I-, wha-, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT MY MONEY?
Guy: Thank you.
Pranker: YOU CAN'T GIVE ME THE REFUND?
Guy: NO, there is NO REFUND, sir.
Pranker: But look man, I'm gonna call EVERY DAY for a MONTH and try to get my refund, I NEED IT.
Guy: Okay. Yes, GO-, GOOD LUCK. [Hang up]
Pranker: LOOK, I-, I was already ALL THE WAY HOME and then I, hello?
Guy: This is [censored], may I help you?
Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Yeah, hello, [censored], how are you doing?
Guy: HUH?! I GUESS I'M OKAY.
Pranker: Oh, okay, good! I-, I-, I'm good too, thanks for asking, uh-, yeah, I was calling just uh-, I come in there-
Pranker: to getting uh-, some food today this morning and I was wondering if uh-, maybe I could come back to replacing?
Guy: SIR, YOU GET OFF THE PHONE or NEXT TIME I SEE YOU I'LL STICK THIS UP YOUR ASS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!
Pranker: Wha-, eh-, okay-
Guy: I DON'T WANT YOU AS A CUSTOMER-
Guy: I DON'T WANT YOU PERIOD.
Guy: ON MY PARKING LOT. [Hang up]
Pranker: Sir, I NEVER TALKED TO YOU IN MY LIFE, I JUST GO-. [Laughing] [speaking to audience] OH MY GOD!
Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Yeah, uh-, can I talk to [censored], please? We got disconnected.
Guy: NO, HE HUNG UP ON YOU SIR.
Pranker: Okay, I guess NUMBER ONE, can you just exp-, I'm LITERALLY my MY MIND IS BLOWN, right now, I just don't understand-
Pranker: like, what happen?! Is he having a bad day-
Guy: I'M ASK-, I'M ASKING, what I can do for you? I don't know-
Guy: who you are, I'm willing to listen ONE TIME.
Pranker: No, but he told me he wants to SHOVE SOMETHING UP MY ASS, I don't know-
Guy: Alright, fine-
Pranker: it was RUDE, right? I don't appreciate it, so I'm just CURIOUS if there's a MISUNDERSTANDING, I want to CLEAR IT UP, right?
Guy: If it-, if it's a MISUNDERSTANDING I'll clear it up for you, your name is RAJESH.
Pranker: It's Rakesh, yeah, but I was just wondering, can you have him-
Guy: What are you-, what are you calling about today, sir?
Pranker: I had an issue earlier, I came in there to-, to getting some FOOD this morning, but I don't know if there's a slight issue-
Pranker: I was just hoping maybe I could come SWAP it out tomorrow or whenever is convenient?
Guy: You had an issue with food this morning? What kind of food?
Pranker: THE BOSTON CREAM, right?
Guy: Yeah, YOU'RE EXACTLY THE PERSON [censored] SAYS YOU ARE SIR.
Pranker: WHAT DID-, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
Guy: SIR, HERE, I'm gonna tell you in a NICER WAY, from what [censored] told you-
Guy: I have YOUR NAME, I HAVE YOUR NUMBER, I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE IF YOU EVER CALL BACK HERE AGAIN-
Pranker: Listen-, listen.
Guy: THEY WILL VISIT YOU AT YOUR HOME.
Pranker: MOTHERFARKER go FARK YOURSELF, HOW ABOUT THAT?
Guy: You-, you-
Pranker: GO FARK YOURSELF, don't talk like that-
Pranker: DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT-
Pranker: THIS IS AMERICA MOTHERFARKER, GET YOUR RAGHEAD ON YOUR CAMEL AND GO FARK YOUR MOM BITCH.
Pranker: Okay, THIS IS GOING ON YOUR YELP-
Guy: ALRIGHT, BYE BYE!
Pranker: REVIEW PAGE, I'M POSTING THIS ON YELP, for your restaurant. [laughing]
Guy: WE HAVE YOUR NUMBER, WE HAVE BLOCKED IT OFF AND YOU INSIST ON CALLING, what-, what can I do for you today, sir?
Pranker [speaking as Abdo]: Sorry, I think maybe, there is MISUNDERSTANDING or something like this, uh-, I-, I was just-
Pranker: calling to ask you if there's some type of DISCOUNT if somebody got like a BIG PLATE of a MIXED SWEETS, so-
Pranker: uh-, I'm a little bit, uh-, c-, confused-
Guy: WHAT-, WHAT IS YOUR FIRST NAME?! Is your name-, is-, is your first name RAJESH?!
Pranker: No, no, it's Abdul, what-, what're-, what're you talking about?
Guy: OKAY, I AM SORRY, I MISTOOK YOU FOR A PERSON THAT IS HARASSING us here sir.
Pranker: OH, OKAY, eh-, YEAH, sorry about this, yeah, I was just calling just to get the CATERING ORDER, you know, I thought maybe there's is like a-
Guy: Uh-, catering for what, sir?
Pranker: I was just wondering what's the price for like a BIG, uh, like, uh, BAKLAVA PLATE, something like this, or like, maybe like a MIXED PLATTER-
Guy: Uh-, eh-, BAKLAVA 40 PIECES from a-, on a tray.
Pranker: Well yeah, that sounds good, I remember I tried ONE PIECE, uh-, well last time, was like a LUNCH TIME, it was good, so I-, I'll come in tomorrow-
Pranker: and-, and get like uh-, like a half PLATTER or something and-, and I will try it out with my-
Guy: Alright, thank you.
Guy: This is [censored], may I help you?
Pranker [speaking as Abdo]: Yeah, hello [censored], how are you?
Guy: HE'S NOT HERE today.
Pranker: W-, what are you talking about? I-, I talk to you last week remember? About the, uh, the BAKLAVA PLATTER?
Guy: Okay, this is a DIFFERENT [censored] sir, hold on second please.
Guy: Yeah can I help you please, you eat BAKLAVANA?
Pranker: Yeah, yeah, of course, I just felt a little bit more COMFORTABLE talking to [censored] because I spoke to him FIRST, you know, eh-, can I speak with him?
Guy: I-, I FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING TO MY WIFE TOO SIR, but I have to talk to other women too sometimes. Can I help you, please?
Pranker: BASICALLY what happened is you know, I-, I got it for my family, you know, we have BAKLAVA very often back home, but it-, it just-, eh-, a little bit-
Pranker: kind of SOGGY, you know, not-, NOT FRESH, so, I was just hoping that you guys can do something about that because I-, I actually I-, I called George about-
Guy: SIR GET OFF THE FARKING PHONE OKAY?! HOW'S THAT SOUND?!
Pranker: MOTHERFARKER, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO ME?!
Guy: [Hang up]
Pranker: HELL-, [laughing]
Pranker: You're being very rude man, I just want talk man to man and it's like, it's a CRAZY, right? I never call you guys before, and I'm being DISRESPECTED you know-
Pranker: I-, I've been coming there for years.
Guy: DON'T CALL AGAIN DUDE, DON'T COME AGAIN.
Pranker: Just please explain to me, I called VERY POLITE, right, VERY VERY POLITE, and you guys are like eh-, telling me: "OH YOU CALLED", I'VE NEVER CALLED BEFORE IN MY-
Guy: FARK OFF.
Pranker: MOTHERFARKER I WILL COME THERE RIGHT NOW SHOVE MY KABOB SKEWER UP YOUR ASS-
Guy: YOU COME HERE RIGHT NOW, YOU WILL BE ARRESTED.
Pranker: I'M GONNA CHARGE BACK ALL MY TRANSACTIONS OVER THE PAST MONTH, OKAY-
Guy: CHARGE BACK WHATEVER THE FARK YOU WANT, I DON'T CARE.
Pranker: You can LICK MY ASS YOU DONKEY.
Guy: Lick your ass? Don't you have A GOAT FOR THAT?
Pranker: LICK MY ASS you donkey.
Guy: Yeah, THOSE 72 VIRGINS, ARE YOU ONE OF THEM?
Guy: Hello? [laughing]