Category: Restaurant pranks, prank calls
Prank Victim: Indian Restaurant
Rage Level: Hardcore
- “I don't have NO FRUIT BUT I DO HAVE THE PROOF.”
- “I'M YOUR DAD, YOU WILL- YOU KISS MY ASS.”
- “Customer what? Service? NO.”
Body of content:
I did an Indian restaurant prank call on a place that was rated 1.5 out of 5 stars to see why they were rated so horribly. The reason was apparent right away! These guys want NOTHING to do with their own customers and were ready for a fight with Billy! This place is such a mess - should I call back as a different character? Let me know in the comments!
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[film rolls] [phone ringing]
Guy: [censored] Can I help you?
Pranker [speaking as Billy]: Uh, hello? I need to talk to somebody who can help me with a TERRIBLE, MISERABLE EXPERIENCE I had with your food.
Guy: Okay, do you want any delivery or take-out? Something like that?
Pranker: Er, no, I want A COMPENSATION for the TERRIBLE food that got me very SICK.
Guy: No, it's fine, talk to you later, okay? I'm really busy now, alright?
Pranker: Okay I DON'T-
Guy: talk to you-
Pranker: GIVE A CRAP BOY! YOU GOTTA HELP ME RIGHT NOW.
Guy: Later, not now, on the other line-
Pranker: No, NOT LATER, not la- I DON'T CARE the other line, I WILL KEEP CALLING OVER and OVER, again, you understand? Hello?
Pranker [speaking to audience]: Later, later, I'm on the other line, what the fark? [speaking as Rakesh]: Customer what? Service? NO.
Guy: [censored], how may I help you?
Pranker [speaking as Russell]: Uh yeah, hi, can I make an order for pick-up, please?
Guy: Ah okay, so, what you having, sir?
Pranker: I- I wanna make a BIG order just for- for me and a bunch of friends, can you guys HANDLE like a large order last minute, or is that a problem usually?
Guy: No, ABSOLUTELY, why not? [giggles]
Pranker: Okay, well actually l- let me- if you don't mind let me just go ahead and pass the phone to him real quick, he'll just tell you what he wants, it should-
Pranker: be pretty quick- quick- one- one second.
Guy: Sure, take your time.
Pranker [speaking as Billy]: Uh hello?
Pranker: YES SIR! So, DO YOU HAVE TIME TO TALK TO ME NOW?
Guy: No, no, I TOLD YOU please, hold the line, you don't- eh- you don't listening to me, what should I do?
Pranker: No, look-
Guy: I don't GIVE WINE, I open it BIG ORDER develop, a big order, sir?
Pranker: no, you asked me, you told me, I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS, DO YOU HAVE AN ORDER OR NOT?!
Guy: Okay, no problem!
Pranker: Eh- it's a- IT'S A PROBLEM because I don't know I- I'M SICK RIGHT NOW, I NEED SOMEBODY TO PAY MY MEDICAL BILLS.
Guy: Is there any proof you ordered food here, and you sick?
Pranker: THE PROOF IS THE FACT THAT YOUR RESTAURANT HAS ONE AND A HALF STARS REVIEWS ONLINE, you know what I mean? Y’all
Guy: I don't care, listen, if- BRING THE PROOF, BRING THE PROOF, I'll be see the, Medical bill, alright?
Pranker: I- I don't have NO FRUIT BUT I DO HAVE THE PROOF-
Guy: Sir, so, forget it, if you don't have- in this country EVERYBODY NEED PROOF.
Pranker: YOU'RE BRING-
Guy: You're lying to me, because you're getting-
Guy: because [mumbling]
Guy: because the money.
Pranker: Let me tell you something, okay? You know what you're being, right now? A BITCH! I'm sorry, but it's- IT IS WHAT IT IS, you know what I'm saying?
Guy: You don't- I- I- I'M YOUR DAD, YOU WILL- YOU KISS MY ASS.
Guy: I'M YOUR DAD, alright?
Pranker: ALRIGHT, BANCHOD.
Guy: I AM YOUR DAD, alright? I AM YOUR FARKING DAD.
Pranker: OKAY, alright.
Pranker: BANCHOD, FARK YOU-
Guy: Bye, bye.
Pranker: AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY.
Guy: If you want to FARK my entire family, you have to have PENNIES, like TWO-THREE PENNIES? You are WHOLE PEOPLE, your pennies, don't as STRONG, what are you talking about MAN?
Pranker: You are CRAZY?! You getting MAD?!
Pranker: YOU THINK I HAVE A WEAK PENIS?
Guy: I AM YOUR DAD, alright? I AM YOUR FARKING DAD [hang up]
Pranker: Hello? [laughing]
Guy: [censored] How may I help you?
Pranker: Yes sir, I was just calling because I would like to apologize for what happened. You know, I'm- I- I have ANGER ISSUES and I was REFLECTING on our conversation and-
Pranker: you know, the whole PENIS thing and all that I- it was INAPPROPRIATE and I would like to extend my apologies to you and I will go ahead and pay my own medical bills, okay?
Guy: No problem, thank you very much.
Pranker: Okay, I'm sor- do you accept my apology?
Guy: Yes sir.
Pranker: Okay, and one thing I also like to do, I like to show LOVE so I- I just wanna say I LOVE YOU MY BROTHER!
Pranker: But, y- you love me too though, right?
Guy: Yes sir!
Pranker: But- but can you say it for me, please?
Guy: Yeah, I love you too.
Pranker: No, but- duh- come on now w- w- what's your first name, so we can feel like, you know, we're actually close?
Pranker: M.D.? Like Mountain Dew?
Pranker: Okay, EXCELLENT, MOUNTAIN DEW, I LOVE YOU.
Guy: Yeah, I'm like M.D. like- like uh- MAD DOG like Medical Doctor, you can tell me anything Medical Doctor-
Guy: or MAD DOG or Muhammad, whatever you want.
Pranker: Okay, MAD DOG, I'M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU MY MAN.
Guy: [giggles] No problem.
Pranker: Okay, can you- can you say BILLY, I LOVE YOU TOO?
Guy: I love you too!
Pranker: No, but you gotta SAY MY NAME, so it can be personal, BILLY I LOVE YOU.
Guy: I LOVE YOU.
Pranker: No, j- okay, now, just A FINALE to just get this going here, uh, BILLY I LOVE YOU [kiss sound] with a little kiss at the end.
Guy: No problem, thank you very much.
Pranker: Okay, just go ahead and blow it through the telephone, I'll feel it.
Guy: Thank you!
Pranker: Just one li- ok- I- I- you're wel- you're very welcome sir, but can- can you kiss me back a little bit through the telephone?
Guy: [kiss sound]
Pranker: OH MY GOD, SIR.
Pranker: YOU- YOU MADE MY- YOU MADE MY DAY, SIR I AM GONNA TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT YOUR RESTAURANT.
Guy: Thank you very much.
Pranker: Okay, [mumble], okay, sir! XOXO!
Guy: Thank you! Bye.
Pranker: Okay, SMOOCHES!
Guy: [hang up]
Pranker: [laughing] [speaking to audience]: What a farking ending, [laughing].