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  1. 02-01-2009, 01:59 PM #1
    OwnagePranks
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    Default FUCK MY LIFE Megathread!!


    Register on the forums to remove this ad!
    Ok, so yesterday, a bunch of us in vent were looking @ www.fmylife.com and reading out our favorite ones.


    Reply to this thread with your favorite line from the site.. I'll start off with two..

    Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

    Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction ? She vomited. FML

    And for the idiots out there... FML stands for "Fuck my life"

    Have at it.

    http://www.fmylife.com

    ONLY 1 QUOTE PER REPLY
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  2. 02-01-2009, 02:03 PM #2
    DualHazzarD
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    Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

    lol nice thread, so random and funny.
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  3. 02-01-2009, 02:18 PM #3
    George
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    *visits*


    ROFL:
    "Today, I just had sex with this random guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML"

    "Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML"
    Last edited by George; 02-01-2009 at 02:23 PM.

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  4. 02-01-2009, 02:22 PM #4
    Twitch131
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    Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up
    Last edited by Twitch131; 02-01-2009 at 02:40 PM.
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  5. 02-01-2009, 02:31 PM #5
    Tactic
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    Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
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  6. 02-01-2009, 03:45 PM #6
    OwnagePranks
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    Man twitch.. people like you will cut this thread short.

    1 per reply!
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  7. 02-01-2009, 03:53 PM #7
    Andreww
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    Today, the dentist had to give me a lot of novacaine because my mouth wasn't becoming numb. After the 4th time the entire right side of my mouth was numb, except for the 2 teeth getting worked on. FML

    That actually happens to me each time I go to the dentist, it's REALLY painful lol
    Quote Originally Posted by OwnagePranks View Post
    I fail, thread over
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  8. 02-01-2009, 04:28 PM #8
    Ms. Leading
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    Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML


    AHHAHAHAHAHA pwnd
    Last edited by Ms. Leading; 02-01-2009 at 04:30 PM.
    .

    stickam .//. myspace .//. twitter
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  9. 02-01-2009, 04:41 PM #9
    xxfortneyface
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    this reminded me of something ownage would say....


    Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML
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  10. 02-01-2009, 04:44 PM #10
    DualHazzarD
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    lol fortney, I lol'd at that one too.
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  11. 02-01-2009, 05:18 PM #11
    Alexx
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    Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

    LOL

    2009 OWNAGEPRANKS NICEST PERSON
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    Skype: alexxphat
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  12. 02-01-2009, 05:30 PM #12
    Justin232
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    lol Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML
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  13. 02-01-2009, 06:31 PM #13
    Silver
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    Today a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML
    2009 OwnagePranks Most Serious Person
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pjizzile View Post
    How's it going?
    By the way why does it say you have 0 posts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Armani View Post
    Cuz when girls post on the forum it doesn't count
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    retards dont graduate. they get a certificate of achievement, a high five, and a you did your best!
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  14. 02-01-2009, 06:48 PM #14
    DjInfinite
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    "Today, I was getting hot so I decided to jump into the pool... naked. As soon as I got in, very suddenly it started hailing. I got hit with blocks of ice in places no man should. FML"

    haha
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  15. 02-01-2009, 06:57 PM #15
    screw45
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    Take my shit more bitch African American*.

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  16. 02-01-2009, 07:11 PM #16
    michael
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    Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much turkey at a family reunion. When I looked around the room over 20 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML




    I am gay, except for Alex, I'd hit it.
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  17. 02-01-2009, 07:35 PM #17
    Omgitsleah
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    Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML


    lmfao u would all probably do that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Marilyn Mason View Post
    So don't expect the end of the world to come one day out of the blue -- it's been happening every day for a long time.
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  18. 02-01-2009, 07:37 PM #18
    Kretus
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    Quote Originally Posted by julihudson View Post
    Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML


    AHHAHAHAHAHA pwnd
    r u serious?? that sucks


    and

    i won a bet so FURL
    Last edited by Kretus; 02-01-2009 at 07:42 PM.
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  19. 02-01-2009, 08:05 PM #19
    xxfortneyface
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    Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

    haha owned

    Today, after cutting jalapenos for salsa, my fiance came up behind me. Without thinking I lead him to our bedroom and gave him a handjob. We just got home from the emergancy room. FML

    and

    Today, my mother yelled at me for hiding mass amounts of porn in my closet. It's not my porn. My brother is still laughing. FML



    okay i'm done for now

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    Last edited by xxfortneyface; 02-01-2009 at 11:20 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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  20. 02-02-2009, 12:45 AM #20
    talladega
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    Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

    Today, a commercial for Maxiderm (a male enhancement product) appeared on the television. My kid brother looks at his father and says "Daddy, I want that." FML


    rofl
    Last edited by talladega; 02-02-2009 at 12:58 AM.
    I shall pour Liquid Nitrogen into your anal cavity.
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