02-01-2009, 12:59 PM
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I run this shit.
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 5,694
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Ok, so yesterday, a bunch of us in vent were looking @ www.fmylife.com and reading out our favorite ones.
Reply to this thread with your favorite line from the site.. I'll start off with two.. Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction ? She vomited. FML And for the idiots out there... FML stands for "Fuck my life" Have at it. http://www.fmylife.com ONLY 1 QUOTE PER REPLY |
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02-01-2009, 01:03 PM
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#2 |
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OP Legend
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 4,342
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Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML
lol nice thread, so random and funny.
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02-01-2009, 01:18 PM
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#3 |
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OP Legend
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Greece
Posts: 3,013
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*visits*
ROFL: "Today, I just had sex with this random guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML" "Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML"
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Last edited by George; 02-01-2009 at 01:23 PM.. |
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02-01-2009, 01:22 PM
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#4 |
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OP Addict
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up
Last edited by Twitch131; 02-01-2009 at 01:40 PM.. |
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02-01-2009, 01:31 PM
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#5 |
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OP Fanataic
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,632
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Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
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02-01-2009, 02:45 PM
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#6 |
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I run this shit.
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 5,694
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Man twitch.. people like you will cut this thread short.
1 per reply! |
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02-01-2009, 02:53 PM
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#7 | |
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Gaming Community Admin
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 174
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Today, the dentist had to give me a lot of novacaine because my mouth wasn't becoming numb. After the 4th time the entire right side of my mouth was numb, except for the 2 teeth getting worked on. FML
That actually happens to me each time I go to the dentist, it's REALLY painful lol 
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02-01-2009, 03:28 PM
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#8 |
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OP Legend
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Michigan
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Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
AHHAHAHAHAHA pwnd Last edited by Ms. Leading; 02-01-2009 at 03:30 PM.. |
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02-01-2009, 03:41 PM
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#9 |
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OP Addict
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: San Diego!
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this reminded me of something ownage would say....
Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML
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02-01-2009, 03:44 PM
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#10 |
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OP Legend
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Wisconsin
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lol fortney, I lol'd at that one too.
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02-01-2009, 04:18 PM
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#11 |
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Drunken Bitch.
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Nebraska.
Posts: 3,060
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Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML
LOL
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2009 OWNAGEPRANKS NICEST PERSON 2009 OWNAGEPRANKS BEST LOOKING 2009 OWNAGEPRANKS MOST LIKELY TO BE THE NEXT MOD.  |
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02-01-2009, 04:30 PM
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#12 |
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Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 34
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lol Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML
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02-01-2009, 05:31 PM
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V.I.P Subscriber
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: ohio
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Today a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML
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2009 OwnagePranks Most Serious Person 2009 OwnagePranks Grumpiest Person 2009 OwnagePranks Biggest Dick(Head) 2009 OwnagePranks Most Intimidating 2009 OwnagePranks Most awards received  Quote:
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02-01-2009, 05:48 PM
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OP Fanataic
Join Date: May 2008
Location: should still be in the 816
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"Today, I was getting hot so I decided to jump into the pool... naked. As soon as I got in, very suddenly it started hailing. I got hit with blocks of ice in places no man should. FML"
haha
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02-01-2009, 05:57 PM
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#15 |
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OP Enthusiast
Join Date: Jun 2008
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Take my shit more bitch ******.
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02-01-2009, 06:11 PM
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#16 |
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Used Panties
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,844
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Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much turkey at a family reunion. When I looked around the room over 20 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
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02-01-2009, 06:35 PM
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V.I.P Subscriber
Join Date: May 2008
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Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML
lmfao u would all probably do that.
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02-01-2009, 06:37 PM
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#18 | |
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OP Legend
Join Date: Dec 2008
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Quote:
and i won a bet so FURL
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2009 OwnagePranks Strangest Poster 2009 OwangePranks Community Alcoholic Last edited by Kretus; 02-01-2009 at 06:42 PM.. |
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02-01-2009, 07:05 PM
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#19 |
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OP Addict
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: San Diego!
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Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML
haha owned Today, after cutting jalapenos for salsa, my fiance came up behind me. Without thinking I lead him to our bedroom and gave him a handjob. We just got home from the emergancy room. FML and Today, my mother yelled at me for hiding mass amounts of porn in my closet. It's not my porn. My brother is still laughing. FML okay i'm done for now
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Last edited by xxfortneyface; 02-01-2009 at 10:20 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost |
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02-01-2009, 11:45 PM
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#20 |
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OP Fanataic
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: niggville,manitoba,canada Power Level: Over 9000
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Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
Today, a commercial for Maxiderm (a male enhancement product) appeared on the television. My kid brother looks at his father and says "Daddy, I want that." FML rofl
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I shall pour Liquid Nitrogen into your anal cavity. Last edited by talladega; 02-01-2009 at 11:58 PM.. |
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