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  1. 02-02-2009, 01:31 AM #21
    xxfortneyface
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    Register on the forums to remove this ad!
    the grandma one made me LOL :]
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  2. 02-02-2009, 04:57 AM #22
    Twitch131
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    Quote Originally Posted by xxfortneyface View Post
    Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

    haha owned

    Today, after cutting jalapenos for salsa, my fiance came up behind me. Without thinking I lead him to our bedroom and gave him a handjob. We just got home from the emergancy room. FML

    and

    Today, my mother yelled at me for hiding mass amounts of porn in my closet. It's not my porn. My brother is still laughing. FML



    okay i'm done for now
    Quote Originally Posted by talladega View Post
    Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

    Today, a commercial for Maxiderm (a male enhancement product) appeared on the television. My kid brother looks at his father and says "Daddy, I want that." FML


    rofl


    One quote per reply, sluts.
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  3. 02-02-2009, 09:11 AM #23
    Kretus
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    Today I quit school, got fired from work, girl just dumped me, and no rent money... now thats FML
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  4. 02-02-2009, 11:21 AM #24
    xxfortneyface
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twitch131 View Post
    One quote per reply, sluts.


    it automerged my posts =[
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  5. 02-02-2009, 05:07 PM #25
    talladega
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    Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a female. FML
    I shall pour Liquid Nitrogen into your anal cavity.
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  6. 02-02-2009, 08:06 PM #26
    xxfortneyface
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    Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no...Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML

    complete ownage


    Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tatoo. FML
    Last edited by xxfortneyface; 02-02-2009 at 08:08 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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  7. 02-04-2009, 02:22 AM #27
    xxfortneyface
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    Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "African American*." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FM


    OWNED
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  8. 02-04-2009, 04:38 AM #28
    Twitch131
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    Fortneeeeeeeeey, you're hogging the thread.
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  9. 02-04-2009, 05:24 AM #29
    Alexx
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twitch131 View Post
    Fortneeeeeeeeey, you're hogging the thread.
    QFT

    Wait for someone else to post one before you spam yours again.

    2009 OWNAGEPRANKS NICEST PERSON
    2009 OWNAGEPRANKS BEST LOOKING
    2009 OWNAGEPRANKS MOST LIKELY TO BE THE NEXT MOD.


    Skype: alexxphat
    Steam: alexxhappyface

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  10. 02-04-2009, 06:18 AM #30
    Armani
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    Ur all 10. FML
    Yeah! Them niggas getting scurred! Wurrd?
    All that talk was just a whole bunch of verb
    Pussy ass nigga got a whole bunch a nerve
    I have em putin' your picture on a bunch of shirts
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  11. 02-04-2009, 12:41 PM #31
    MrDAB
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    Quote Originally Posted by Armani View Post
    Ur all 10. FML
    hahaha, true that.
    This post has been approved by MrDAB

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  12. 02-04-2009, 01:10 PM #32
    Tempr8te
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    Quote Originally Posted by Armani View Post
    Ur all 10. FML
    Ruthless
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  13. 02-05-2009, 12:43 PM #33
    Miley Cyrus
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    Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML
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  14. 02-05-2009, 12:58 PM #34
    Kretus
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    oomg miley cirus i love u
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  15. 02-05-2009, 01:08 PM #35
    Miley Cyrus
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    Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML



    roflmao

    Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

    i had to post that one too.
    Last edited by Miley Cyrus; 02-05-2009 at 01:19 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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  16. 02-05-2009, 01:21 PM #36
    Chance
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    Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML
    Quote Originally Posted by OwnagePranks View Post

    DID I EVER TELL YOU GUYS HOW MUCH I LOVE DICK?
    (that better not affect my gayness percentage.)
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  17. 02-05-2009, 01:35 PM #37
    EmotivE
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kretus View Post
    oomg miley cirus i love u
    Kretus loves Miley Cirus.

    FML.
    http://www.myspace.com/sobemotive
    STEAM: sobemotive
    XFire: emotive101

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  18. 02-05-2009, 02:24 PM #38
    Miley Cyrus
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    Today, I asked my boyfriend to have sex. He told me he would rather play ps3. FML
    (Thats Ownage Pranks!)
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  19. 02-05-2009, 07:59 PM #39
    EmotivE
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    lol. Thats so true.
    http://www.myspace.com/sobemotive
    STEAM: sobemotive
    XFire: emotive101

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  20. 02-05-2009, 08:19 PM #40
    Tactic
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    Ownage never does pranks on stickam anymore, so I have nothing to do on saturday nights. FML
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